I am a single mom. The father and I lived together during my pregnancy. The father abandoned my child before birth. The father had no contact for the first ten years of my child's life. I initiated contact when my child was ten because my child was diagnosed with a medical condition. The father saw my child for a period of seven times in a month then abandoned my child again. The father's rights were terminated due to abandonment when my child was eleven. From the age of ten until now (my child is thirteen) the paternal grandma and great-grandma were involved in my child's life. Twice last year the father sent photos of half-siblings my child has never met. When my child was twelve I slowly allowed a relationship to develop with my child and the half-siblings. My child has spent weekends over his house and has got to know him again. The past few months the father has been making demands about seeing my child more. He has not offered to pay anything financially towards my child and I do not expect him because his rights are terminated. Now the father has overstepped his boundries and is telling me how to raise my child regarding her medical health. When I reminded him that he has no legal right to my child's medical information he became very angry and threatened to take me to court. Then he cussed me out and proceeds to hang up on me. I am not willing to tolerate his verbal abuse nor his threats towards me. I am willing to let my child have a relationship with the father and half-siblings as long as my child's safety is not compromised. Now I am afraid he is reverting to the past behavior that got his rights terminated. How can I assert my rights as the only legal parent and still be fair to my child? I am now upset about the thought of going back to court because I am still in debt from when his rights were terminated. I want my child to know the half-siblings but I do not want to live in constant stress that at any minute this man can file a lawsuit. It has gotten to the point that I am considering filing a civil-harassment restraining order against him. I do not want any more contact with this man. I am willing to let my child have a supervised relationship with him if that is what my child wants. I am willing to have the grandparent be present when he visits. This case is more complex because there is no step-parent adoption. Does a parent whose rights have been terminated have the right to file lawsuits against a custodial parent?

I am a single mom. The father and I lived together during my pregnancy. The father abandoned my child before birth. The father had no contact for the first ten years of my child's life. I initiated contact when my child was ten because my child was diagnosed with a medical condition. The father saw my child for a period of seven times in a month then abandoned my child again. The father's rights were terminated due to abandonment when my child was eleven. From the age of ten until now (my child is thirteen) the paternal grandma and great-grandma were involved in my child's life. Twice last year the father sent photos of half-siblings my child has never met. When my child was twelve I slowly allowed a relationship to develop with my child and the half-siblings. My child has spent weekends over his house and has got to know him again. The past few months the father has been making demands about seeing my child more. He has not offered to pay anything financially towards my child and I do not expect him because his rights are terminated. Now the father has overstepped his boundries and is telling me how to raise my child regarding her medical health. When I reminded him that he has no legal right to my child's medical information he became very angry and threatened to take me to court. Then he cussed me out and proceeds to hang up on me. I am not willing to tolerate his verbal abuse nor his threats towards me. I am willing to let my child have a relationship with the father and half-siblings as long as my child's safety is not compromised. Now I am afraid he is reverting to the past behavior that got his rights terminated. How can I assert my rights as the only legal parent and still be fair to my child? I am now upset about the thought of going back to court because I am still in debt from when his rights were terminated. I want my child to know the half-siblings but I do not want to live in constant stress that at any minute this man can file a lawsuit. It has gotten to the point that I am considering filing a civil-harassment restraining order against him. I do not want any more contact with this man. I am willing to let my child have a supervised relationship with him if that is what my child wants. I am willing to have the grandparent be present when he visits. This case is more complex because there is no step-parent adoption. Does a parent whose rights have been terminated have the right to file lawsuits against a custodial parent?
You opened a can of worms when you allowed him to be with the father, even if it was to get him closer to the half siblings, you were aware that a relationship would also ensue between the father and son. His rights have been terminated, but since you have allowed extensive visits to the dads, and probably alot of overnights, he may have some legal rights to try to obtain some rights again. I am not knowledgable in the laws in this area, but I assure you that someone who does know more about this will be along. He has gotten to know him again, and he does not see this negative side that you see, so he may not even understand your feelings on this. I wish you luck!

You opened a can of worms when you allowed him to be with the father, even if it was to get him closer to the half siblings, you were aware that a relationship would also ensue between the father and son. His rights have been terminated, but since you have allowed extensive visits to the dads, and probably alot of overnights, he may have some legal rights to try to obtain some rights again. I am not knowledgable in the laws in this area, but I assure you that someone who does know more about this will be along. He has gotten to know him again, and he does not see this negative side that you see, so he may not even understand your feelings on this. I wish you luck!


Yes, it does seem that a can of worms is opened but unfortantely the can was never closed because my child had a previous relationship with the paternal grandma and great-grandma. I was not willing to terminate those relationships because it would not be fair to those parties. Unfortuantely, the dad's wife was pregnant with the older half-sibling when my child was ten so she knew she had a sibling on the way. Then the photos were sent to my child without a return address. My child got to the photos of her half-siblings before I could intercept the letter. Sending the photos was an emotional ploy on the dad's part. My child expressed interest in meeting her siblings. Plus she already had a relationship with the paternal grandma and great-grandma and saw photos of her siblings at their homes. At some point she was going to run into her siblings at grandma's house. I didn't think that was a good way to meet siblings so I then allowed visits. I still think it is in my child's best interest to have a relationship with her siblings but I also think it is in my child's best interest that her father's rights stay terminated because he is unstable and emotionally abusive. He has demonstrated this by abandoning my child for the first ten years of her life, reabandoning her when she was ten after apologizing for the first abandonment and promising to never abandon her again! Then he sent the photos of siblings she never met and signed the letter love forever, your brother and sister. Now he is threatening to take me back to court. If his past behavior is an indicator of what will come he will cut off contact again with my daughter until the court resolves the issue. He has never put her best interest forward and that is why his rights were terminated in the first place. Thank you for your response and wishing me luck.

Yes, it does seem that a can of worms is opened but unfortantely the can was never closed because my child had a previous relationship with the paternal grandma and great-grandma. I was not willing to terminate those relationships because it would not be fair to those parties. Unfortuantely, the dad's wife was pregnant with the older half-sibling when my child was ten so she knew she had a sibling on the way. Then the photos were sent to my child without a return address. My child got to the photos of her half-siblings before I could intercept the letter. Sending the photos was an emotional ploy on the dad's part. My child expressed interest in meeting her siblings. Plus she already had a relationship with the paternal grandma and great-grandma and saw photos of her siblings at their homes. At some point she was going to run into her siblings at grandma's house. I didn't think that was a good way to meet siblings so I then allowed visits. I still think it is in my child's best interest to have a relationship with her siblings but I also think it is in my child's best interest that her father's rights stay terminated because he is unstable and emotionally abusive. He has demonstrated this by abandoning my child for the first ten years of her life, reabandoning her when she was ten after apologizing for the first abandonment and promising to never abandon her again! Then he sent the photos of siblings she never met and signed the letter love forever, your brother and sister. Now he is threatening to take me back to court. If his past behavior is an indicator of what will come he will cut off contact again with my daughter until the court resolves the issue. He has never put her best interest forward and that is why his rights were terminated in the first place. Thank you for your response and wishing me luck.
Anytime, it may boil down to him being forced to take you to court, and you requesting that your son see the half siblings, or the father, with supervision only, with the in laws, and never at his house again. I am not sure the way this works, but there are many people on this site that do, and they will be around to help you with advice on a good course of action. :)

The first thing you need to understand is that if his rights were terminated, he is no longer her father, legally. He has absolutely no standing to sue for custody, visitation, nada. If you want your daughter to still continue a relationship with the grandmothers, you need to set up an alternative for visits. Lunches, come to your house, whatever. You know that your ex is not good for your daughter, therefore, even if she "wants" to have a relationship with him, you need to put an end to any communication and contact between them until she is 18 and able to legally make her own decisions. Normally, I advocate that a child should have access to both parents, but in this case you and the court agreed that he is detrimental to your child. Your first priority is to protect your daughter (and obviously, by your posts, that is what you are trying to do). It's not so long until she is an adult and can decide for herself. Until that time, your decisions are the only ones that count.

Thank you for clearing that up, I was not sure since she allowed any visitation, if this opened his door up for a battle. ;) :p

Because the father's rights have been terminated, the court views him as a legal stranger...

Therefore, it would be like a neighbor demanding time with the daughter because the daughter had spent a couple of nights there on sleep overs.

The easiest and cheapest way to make this go away is to threaten dad right back... and tell him that if he is going to take you to court for visitation, you will demand child support.

Neither one of you will win, but it will stop the noise.

And a very good morning to you! :)

good morning... or afternoon here.

Just trying to spread the sunshine that is cyjeff.....

Thank you for your advice. I am worried because I have seen court cases that allow visits between children and legal stranders if it is considered the child's best interest. Example, Mom's boyfriend that has spent time with child or grandparents. Since my daughter has spent time with her father I am worried that a California court will decide that it is in my child's best interest to see her siblings. This is why I am worried that I will have to go to court again. What do you think about me filing a civil-harassment restraining order against the father?