I apologize in advance for the length of this post...

My employer provides health insurance through GHI. On the GHI website, I discovered that they offer coverage for Domestic Partners. They define Domestic Parnters as two adults who live together, own a home together, have a joint bank account and have bills in both names. Since I have lived with my fiance for seven years and we meet all the criteria, I went to my Health Benefits Coordinator in the Human Resources department to add him to my policy. I was told that yes, the company participates in that program, but it's only for same-sex couples. I questioned her, saying that the GHI website didn't say anything about having to be same-sex, and that it seemed like discrimination to exclude someone based on their sexual orientation. She said they cover same-sex couples only, and if I want to add my fiance to my policy I should marry him. She told me it was GHI's policy. She gave me a copy of my company's (not GHI's) Domestic Partner Policy. It's eight pages about how a Domestic Partner is of the same-sex only.

I called GHI to ask them why the website didn't say anything about only covering same-sex couples and how they could discriminate based on sexual orientation. The rep I spoke to said that they offer the coverage to couples of any sex and that my HR department was misrepresenting the policy. She said GHI would send a rep to my HR department to "re-educate" them. (To my knowledge, this hasn't happened yet. Or it did and HR decided to ignore them...) The rep told me to fill out the form to add my fiance as a Domestic Partner and bring it back to HR. She said if they didn't accept it, I should tell them to call their GHI rep and they would be told that they have to accept it.

I brought back the form and was told no. I told them what GHI told me. They said they'd get back to me. They called me back later in the day and said they would not accept it. Same-sex only.

I called my local chapter of the ACLU. I believe this is discrimination and I figured that was a good place to start. They don't handle issues in private companies, but the woman told me it sounded like I was being discriminated against based on my marital status and sexual orientation.

Today, I was called into my supervisor's office. He asked me why I was making a fuss about adding my fiance to my health insurance policy. He said I should have come to him first. I told him I didn't realize my health benefits had anything to do with him, that it was between me and HR. He went on and on about how that is the company's policy and I WILL accept it. Basically, I was brought in there to be intimidated into dropping the whole thing.

And I'm not even sure that HR had the right to call my supervisor with info about my health benefits. If there were an issue involving him that I wanted to report to HR, I now know that I can't because they'll tell him about it. It's not a warm, fuzzy feeling knowing there isn't any confidentiality when it comes to your HR department.

Where do I go from here? Is there an agency I can report this to? Do I hire a lawyer? I need some direction here.

Thanks.

I'm a bit confused by your post. Please correct me if I am wrong. Are you stating that you are heterosexual and engaged to be married in a heterosexual relationship? And you feel discriminated against because of the domestic partner benefits offered to your homosexual co-workers that you cannot
participate in? Is that correct?

First, I think it's important to fully understand the definition of domestic partnership (Definition (http://www.hrc.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Work_Life/Get_Informed2/The_Issues/Domestic_Partners_Definition/Domestic_Partners_Definition.htm)). The provided link will go into detail on what qualifies. Basically the purpose of domestic partnership benefits is to offer the same benefits that legally married couples have. Since you are not yet married, you cannot add your fiance to your health insurance. If your homosexual co-worker were legally able to be married, then the same criteria would exist for his/her participation in your health plan.

The insurance company that the employer offers, has told the poster, by what he told the insurance company, about his partner, that he would qualify to also be covered. The employer is not allowing this based on a "policy", of the office only, not of the insurance company. So, if the insurance company says they would cover the o.p's partner, would the employer have the right to override that offer by the insurance company? My place of businesss also offers insurance to same sex partners, or in fact, one other person who lives in the household, so they are offering this without actually saying they are offering benefits to someone who is gay. Can you contact the insurance company again, and ask if maybe they could help you get this done,since H.R is not. I would think if the insurance carrier did not offer this, it would not be an issue, but since they do, and only the employer is saying no, I feel it is wrong, but this is only my opinion.

Sorry for the confusion. I am heterosexual woman going to be married to a man.

There was really no problem with anything until I spoke with GHI. You're right, gay people can't get married. However, if GHI is willing to cover my opposite-sex domestic partner, can my employer say no? GHI gave me information on how THEIR policy reads: Two ADULTS living in the same house, etc. I tried to submit the paperwork directly to GHI, but they said it had to come through my employer.

And the woman I spoke to at the ACLU said it doesn't matter if gay or straight couples can or cannot get married. You can't exclude someone based on sexual preference no matter what kind of "good" reason you have. She just couldn't do anything in a private company.

Irrespective of your concerns about domestic partner benefits, it's not uncommon to disallow changes to your health coverage if open enrollment has passed. An exception exists under a "qualifying event" (i.e. marriage, divorce, birth of a new child, etc.). When are you scheduled to be married? You can always add your fiance at that time.

If you prefer to go the domestic partner path, you may be required to register as such or provide an "affidavit of domestic partnership" to prove that the relationship exists. In essence, this could constitute a legal arrangement similar to that of a marriage. This is often requested to discourage fraud or frivolousness.

This question comes up over and over and over again.

As the laws currently stand in every state except my own, allowing coverage for same sex domestic partners but not for opposite sex domestic partners has been allowed to stand under the law as a form of LEGAL discrimination. Except in Massachusetts, same sex domestic partners do not have the option of marriage. Opposite sex partners do.

Your employer MAY refuses to cover opposite sex domestic partners EVEN IF the carrier is willing to cover them. The plan document will have defined who is considered an eligible dependent; it is quite common for only legal spouses to be covered; it is legal for them to grant exceptions only to those who do not have the legal option of marriage.