16 year old teen honor student has worked full time throughout her summer break. Faithfully abides by assigned duties and attendance. Recently has been having panic attacks and major stress issues. Felt overwhelmed by always having to be somewhere and school getting ready to start again. Stressed by nonperforming fellow employees, another boss that is totally rude, and personal life boyfriend/teenage snot talk. She told her boss that she was stressed to the max and needed some time away. He insisted that if she was not "sick" that she needed to come to work. Her doctor faxed him a note for her to be off for a few days. When she got back to work he called her into his office and told her that he didn't know what that note from the doctor was because she wasn't sick, just didn't want to come to work. My question is, is stress not a common thing or are we a crazy family? She is only 16 not 26. What are your thoughts on this? She continues to work on a part time basis since school started but is very uncomfortably around him now. She feels that he does not trust her anymore. I guess that she should have lied and said that she had the flu. We thought we were doing the right thing by being honest.

You are right; stress is a common thing. So common that it is not generally a valid reason to be off work. Everyone has stress occasionally but most of us still manage to go to work in spite of it.

If FMLA does not apply, and it would not in the circumstances you describe, a doctor's note has no force in law. The employer has no legal obligation to give her time off even if she has a doctor's note.

She's not going to be eligible to take time off work for stress when she's 26, either.

If she feels like he doesn't trust her any more that's a shame, but it doesn't give her any legal recourse.

You are a crazy family.

No, seriously... stress leave is not recognized, and your daughter, being both part time and, possibly, seasonal, isn't covered under FMLA or anything else.

A doctor's note means nothing. Your daughter could have been very legally fired.

As a manager, if I had an employee give me this kinda drama, I would have fired her and hired someone less complicated. The employer doesn't care if she is stressed out about school, that she has personal boyfriend problems or that she was abducted by aliens. The employer needs workers that can be counted on... without excuses.

Your daughter has plenty.

My point was, that she is only 16 and still learning to deal with stresses in life. If she were 26 she would have it mastered! Her work did not fall behind and if there was an issue about that then he could of had his college girl that might come in to work or might not cover for her. Some days she might not show up at all (never calls in)or shows up for anywhere from a 1/2 hour to 5 hours. Yes, she is my daughter and I am a little touchy about it. She is still young and learning to deal with everyday issues and I still think that he had crappy pr. We will get past this as her intentions are to complete college and return to the company for a career. She has learned alot about poor supervisors, non accountable employees, and waste of time and money in this department she is currently in. We have tried to teach her to be honest and respectful to others and she has gotten quite an eye opening this summer. If I was her supervisor I would have been understanding and allowed her the time with no problem but then again I would be on top of what was going on in my department.

Well, unfortunately, not all employers are prone to do that unless the law requires that they do. They do have a business to run, after all. It's a tough break for a 16 year-old, but that's what growing up is all about.

If you were a supervisor you would have more to worry about than a 16 year old looking for time off because she was having school and boyfriend problems.

It's very easy to say how you would have handled a situation when you're not the one that has to keep the work covered when a 16 year old drama queen (and I don't mean that nastily - there isn't a 16 year old girl alive who isn 't a drama queen, including myself at that age) decides she's too "stressed" to do her job.

The fact of the matter is that being 16 does not give her the right to take time off because she has personal problems.

Perhaps if she is that stressed, this isn't the time for her to have a job. At 16 legally you would have to still be supporting her, and while responsibility is a good thing to teach, there are times when taking care of yourself is more important than a job. That goes for any age, but is especially true when one is 16. If balancing a job, school and her personal life is going to make her so miserable that she needs time off, perhaps one of those things should go. Dropping out isn't a good idea and her personal life is going to be an issue unless you send her off to a convent with a vow of silence.

As a job is totally optional at 16, that is the logical thing to cut or change. Surely this isn't the only place to work if she "must" have a job. Maybe someplace with fewer hours or different responsibilities would be better.

If she is having this much anxiety over school and friends, I'd also encourage her to visit her guidance counselor at school. Life isn't going to any less stressful in the coming years and few master dealing with stress in a healthy way on their own. Guidance Counselors can provide assistance with learning to balance priorities and handle difficult situations. And, it is free of charge.

And some free advice from a dad...

If you are trying to teach her responsibility by letting her take on a job, don't fight her battles for her.

That is part of the lesson. I am not saying that you shouldn't counsel her on the right things to do and expect, but let that be the extent of your help.

If you don't let her take on these "safe" battles, you will still be fighting them for her at 26.

"Stress",,
It is a result and not a cause.
The cause of stress begins in the mind, which is conditioned by repetitions of thought, until no conscious thought is needed. (Second nature)
In other words, we are what we think. Stress can be managed by the holder of dis-eased thinking patterns by recognizing that within each of us is the ability to control what we think about.
Making a conscious decision to move away from limiting thought patterns by replacing them with empowering patterns, will be many times better than excusing the pre-existing stock of ideas and reactions. (3 weeks to recondition)
This all sounds more complicated than it is.
You can’t kick a puppy and think “love”.
Almost no one will do this. They will mock it forever rather than implement it for a short while.
Good luck.