My boss has informed me that (god forbid) the man who I consider to be my father, the man who has raised me since I was 3, passes away from this dangerous cancer he has I will not be allowed the time off to attend his funeral. I have vacation time, but as you know death does not generally give 2 weeks notice. My company offers bereavment leave, 3 days for immediate family members and even though they are aware that this man has been my dad for 27 years they believe that since he never married my mother (they were considered common law 20 years ago), and since he never adopted me (my so called "real" father forbad it) that he is not considered immediate family. Since our attendance policy does not allow for taking time off unexcused if I choose to take even one day to attend his funeral I will be fired.

My question is this, does an employer get the right to determine immediate family?

For purposes of bereavement time, yes, they do, since there is no law that you be granted bereavement time in the first place.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Well thats pretty much what I figured. I guess it is pointless to think of it as discrimination?

Bill hasnt passed and I hope he doesn't and thank you for your speedy reply. If he comes through this latest problem, we are going to have papers filed for him to formally adopt me. Apparently that's acceptable in the state of NC. Hopefully, then they (my heartless employer) will have no grounds. If they allow other people bereavement leave then if I am legally adopted I hope that will force them to include me. In so far as they should not be able to discriminate. Thank you again.

Yes, it is pointless to think in terms of discrimination. No employee has a "right" to bereavement time. I agree that your employer is heartless but he has not violated the law.

It may be discrimination but it isn't illegal discrimination. While the employer does have the right to determine who qualifies for bereavement if they offer it at all, most decent employers will make allowances for special circumstances. Have you asked what your options are? It might be that he doesn't fall under the bereavement policy but they might be willing to bend the rules on requiring advanced notice of vacation leave.