long story short,we spent the night together-she comes back a year or so later after failing to convince another guy that it was his kid,and now shes trashed my life-she stopped child support now shes starting it up again-i dont want this kid-i never did-if i sign off my parental rights,will that end all this?

You can not just sign off your parental rights. Has paternity been established? Has a support order been filled.

so what can i do-i need to get out from under this- i cant afford to pay for her screw up-she had no business having the kid in the first place-now she is coming after me like i owe her something-SHE made the decision to have the kid without even telling me about it-let alone asking me my take on the idea

Damn, you sound like Barbie. Short answer? Get out the checkbook. You WILL be ordered to pay support. Nobody held a gun to your head and FORCED you to have sex with her. Try thinking with the other head from now on. You will not "get out from under this", DAD.

so what can i do-i need to get out from under this

You can answer the questions from mom26, so that we can help you. Has paternity been established with you as the LEGAL father? Are you subject to a court order for child support, or have you just paid her directly in the past?

i cant afford to pay for her screw up-she had no business having the kid in the first place-now she is coming after me like i owe her something-SHE made the decision to have the kid without even telling me about it-let alone asking me my take on the idea

Wow...her screw-up? No business having the kid in the first place? I suppose you had every right to have unprotected sex with this woman, though? I would suggest that if you truly want help from this forum, you keep those kinds of thoughts to yourself. Besides, in the eyes of the law, once a woman is pregnant, she alone has the right to carry the baby to term or seek an abortion...I suppose if she had informed you of her decision to "have the kid," you would have FORCED her to either terminate the pregnancy or seek an adoption? Fat chance.

long story short,we spent the night together-she comes back a year or so later after failing to convince another guy that it was his kid,and now shes trashed my life-she stopped child support now shes starting it up again-i dont want this kid-i never did-if i sign off my parental rights,will that end all this?

This is the most confusing part of your posts...how did SHE stop child support and start it up again? Did you have an agreement outside of court? If so, it is unenforceable and you don't have to pay anything to her. If you have a court order for support, she can't "start it and stop it" at will. Please clarify what you mean here.

Bottom line, you're learning a hard lesson here. Whether you agree with it or not, a man's rights in matters like these disappear when you make the decision to unzip. You have sex, you might have a baby, and you WILL be responsible for the consequences, unless the mother aborts, adopts, or signs you off. Please stop whining about how she's trashing your life...you made the decision all by yourself to sleep with her, now deal with the consequences.

Damn, you sound like Barbie. Short answer? Get out the checkbook. You WILL be ordered to pay support. Nobody held a gun to your head and FORCED you to have sex with her. Try thinking with the other head from now on. You will not "get out from under this", DAD.

get bent *****

get bent *****

You think I'm being a *****? Gee, I'm crushed. You have no idea what a ***** is. Get ready, she's coming. BTW, it would be much cheaper for you in the long run if you would get a vasectomy. (castration works, too)

Look my now fiance had a one night stand and she became pregnant, he did not want the child either but you know what it is not the childs fault he was born, he did not get to choose!!!!! My fiance is being a man and paying his monthly support for the childs sake. If you did not want the child wear protection or just don't have sex!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, has a paternity test been shown that you are the father? If not that is the first thing that needs to be done. But, one thing that these people are trying to tell you is that it is not your kids fault. That baby deserves to have a "daddy" in it's life. I know what you are going through I just went through this with my husband. The exact same thing. He didnt want his daughter. The mother IS crazy. Once he got to bond with her and spend time with his daughter, he loves her with all of his heart. Actually, we are about to have custody of her. She lives with us now and the mom signed temporary custody to us. We are making it all official right now. So, you see if you can bond with this child and maybe one day you can have custody of the child.

Another thing is when you choose to have sex with someone, whatever comes out of it , IS totally your business and responsibility. I do understand her not talking with you about it at first, but she didn't think you were the father. Everyone makes mistakes, clearly you have. So, if this child is yours, go form a bond with this child and I promise you won't regret it. If she isnt being a great mother to this child then the child will be missing 2 great parents. I dont think you could live with yourself knowing that. Just think about all this and re-evaluate your decision.

Trust me I have been through this.

long story short,we spent the night together-she comes back a year or so later after failing to convince another guy that it was his kid,and now shes trashed my life -she stopped child support now shes starting it up again-i dont want this kid-i never did-if i sign off my parental rights,will that end all this?

First- SHE did NOT "trash your life" - YOU DID, by not taking precautions when having sex.

Second- You can legally "sign away" all of your RIGHTS- HOWEVER- You CANNOT legally "sign away" your OBLIGATIONS. If you are the father you have a legal obligation to pay CS, which you can do without ever having to see or deal with your child or his/her mother.

get bent *****

I am not completely sure how you talked anyone into sleeping with you in the first place...but I digress

Anyway, there are no do overs. You made a baby. You pay for the baby. If you don't, your pay will be garnished and, depending on the state and the severity of your delinquency, you may lose your tax returns, driver's license and freedom.

Look down the long tunnel of your life. You should get used to seeing monthly checks going to her for the next 18 years.

But PLEASE feel free to ask the judge how you get out of this and how it is all her fault. That will at least make some interesting reading and will make sure you get the judgement you truly deserve.