hi recently i had a baby by what most would call a deadbeat my son is 1 month old. i have questions i need help. the father of my child left me when i was 2 months pregnant he kicked me out and moved his ex in within 24 hours later. all through my pregnancy he cursed me put me down threatened me and just made my life a living nightmare. now that my son is here he has only seen him twice. once i met him in the foodlion parking lot and another i ran in to him at his mothers house. he is a everyday drunk he lost his lisence 2 yrs ago for dwi and has been stopped twice and arrested once in the past few months for dwi w/o a lisence. he told me he was gonna take me to court for visitation/custody of my son because i refuse to let his girlfriend be a part of my childs life. he says he is gonna marry her before we go to court to assure that she is involved in visitation arrangements. will he win? will i have to allow the woman who stole my man to be a part of my childs life and keep my child on a regular basis will a judge grant his request. any advise would be helpful. i went to social services to file for child support and he didnt show up to appointment at social services to establish paternity or sign birth certificate. he was invited to be a hospital when i had my son and he didnt show up. we were only together 4 months never married. please help?

hi recently i had a baby by what most would call a deadbeat my son is 1 month old. i have questions i need help. the father of my child left me when i was 2 months pregnant he kicked me out and moved his ex in within 24 hours later. all through my pregnancy he cursed me put me down threatened me and just made my life a living nightmare. now that my son is here he has only seen him twice. once i met him in the foodlion parking lot and another i ran in to him at his mothers house. he is a everyday drunk he lost his lisence 2 yrs ago for dwi and has been stopped twice and arrested once in the past few months for dwi w/o a lisence. he told me he was gonna take me to court for visitation/custody of my son because i refuse to let his girlfriend be a part of my childs life. he says he is gonna marry her before we go to court to assure that she is involved in visitation arrangements. will he win? will i have to allow the woman who stole my man to be a part of my childs life and keep my child on a regular basis will a judge grant his request. any advise would be helpful. i went to social services to file for child support and he didnt show up to appointment at social services to establish paternity or sign birth certificate. he was invited to be a hospital when i had my son and he didnt show up. we were only together 4 months never married. please help?
He does have the legal right to file for visitation/custody, and unless you can PROVE that he is a danger to his child, he'll almost certainly be granted at least visitation. (his GF can't legally ask for visitation).If his GF is living with him there isn't anything you can really do to prevent her from being around during Dad's visitation time, UNLESS you can PROVE that SHE is a danger to the child. If you cannot prove those things it will be alot better for you to accept that if she is a part of Dad's life, she'll also be a part of your child's life.

Your ex is not really a deadbeat only because there aren't any court orders for CS. Once there is and IF he doesn't pay, then and only then could he be considered as a "deadbeat".

Until there are court orders:
He doesn't legally have to pay any CS
You do not have to allow visits.

let me define why hes a dead beat he had 5 other kids hes 10000 dollars behind in there child support he didnt help in raising none of them and the two next to my son are now being raised my his mother so that he doesnt have to continue paying cs.

with his alcohol problem and the arrest to prove it do you think he will be granted unsupervised visitation?

let me define why hes a dead beat he had 5 other kids hes 10000 dollars behind in there child support he didnt help in raising none of them and the two next to my son are now being raised my his mother so that he doesnt have to continue paying cs.
If you knew this, why did you have anything to do with him, much less have a baby with him? I don't mean to be cruel, but you chose him to be the father of your baby. When he sues for custody/visitation, he will be granted his paternal rights.

with his alcohol problem and the arrest to prove it do you think he will be granted unsupervised visitation?
No, because he had the problem before you had a child with him. He has not posed any threat as of yet to the child. When and if he ever puts the child in danger, you will have evidence you need to limit his visitation. There is no getting around the fact that he is the father. Again, you knew before you had a baby with him what type of person he is and his history. You don't get to turn around and say he was good enough to concieve a child with, but he is not good enough to have anything to do with his child. Prepare yourself to accept that he will have visitation (at least) with the baby.

your telling me that even with his alcohol abuse a judge will grant him unsupervised visitation? i figure with that it will be supervised?

Well, has he had any alcohol related run ins with the law since the DUI? Any alcohol problems when around the baby? A DUI conviction that is 2 years old is not going to help you. Oh, sorry, I just reread your original post. You can certainly ask for supervised visitation, and frankly, I don't blame or disagree with you. Just don't pin all of your hopes on that to get the judge to grant the request.

Let me just add that I strongly suggest that you do not bring up not wanting the new gf to have anything to do with the baby in court. The court does not care. You and the father were not married. It will only make your valid arguments weaker. It makes your case look more like a scorned woman trying to withhold visitation than a mother truly concerned for the welfare of your child. Don't get me wrong, many women sympathize and understand your feelings. But emotions are not the court's domain.

i sure hope that with his problem i can get the judge to do supervised visitation that way i know why child is safe and as well i know that with supervised the huzzy wont have her paws on my child as she already took my man.

one of the reasons i dont want her around my child is because she already has his 5 other kids calling her mom and i dont want my child doing the same. things could also become confusing for my child because he's mixed the dad is black im white and it so happens the gf is black im scared if shes around much he might look at her and himself and think she is his mother if she trys to call herself that.

oh yea and both times he seen the baby he was drinking.

one of the reasons i dont want her around my child is because she already has his 5 other kids calling her mom and i dont want my child doing the same. things could also become confusing for my child because he's mixed the dad is black im white and it so happens the gf is black im scared if shes around much he might look at her and himself and think she is his mother if she trys to call herself that.

Listen, my custody "dispute" was in NC. I am telling you what to focus on. Leave the racism out (and, yes, that is what it is and how the court will see it), the gf out (unless you have proof that she is a true danger to your child), and anything else EXCEPT how he is a threat and danger to your child. I promise you, that if the court even allows you to voice most of what you have posted on here, you will be slapped down by the judge. There is no reason to put a potentially strong case for supervised visitation at risk because you are pissed that he moved his new honey in. I understand what you are saying. I KNOW why you are mad. I KNOW why you don't want her to have anything to do with your child. Do you think you are the only mother that has dealt with this? I am telling you to leave it outside of the courtroom. You can ask that the judge stipulate that only YOU be referred to as "Mommy" (or whatever you want to go by), but bear in mind that he will order the same on behalf of the father if he grants that request. Do you have an atty, or are you planning on getting one? I suggest that you do.

oh yea and both times he seen the baby he was drinking.
Can you prove it? Any body else around that can attest to that? Do you have pictures of him with alcohol in his hand while around the baby? And was he drinking or was he drunk? Do you see where I am going with this? If you make a claim in court, you better have proof to back it up.

his mother and his two cousins and his ex girlfriend were there but i really doubt that they would willingly testify to it although im pretty sure they'll be in the court room that day and his mom said she would stand up for me a mother is more likely to change her story when the day comes.