:confused: I have three children my youngest, 4yr old, has only met bio father 3 times her whole life and my 6yr old only barely remembers him my 8 yr old, however, does remember him but wont talk of him and refuses to call him dad. which is normally okay because he never calls or writes or n-ething else. I am owed over $10,000 in arrears. In the past I have been so strapped for money that I was worried about diappers and groceries and even rent I have had utilities shut off for non-payment and struggled to get to where I am now. I even lost my job more than once due to not being able to afford a babysitter. the state assistance I did recieve at the time was not enough to cover expenses.
Durring this time I met and married a wonderful man who adores all three of my children and we have togther built a safe and comfortable life and home for them that is great. I never want to be in a situation like that again. How ever now my concern is with my children two of them were premies and one of them had a heart surgery. And at no time did their father ever call to check to see if they are well or even still alive. The only time I ever spoke to the man was when I had tracked him down and begged for any amount of child support. And even when I had him on the phone and he could hear my children in the background he never once asked how they were doing.

I have a full legal and physical custody agreement with him haveing standard visitation rights. He now lives in Idaho I have always been able to track him down but every time I get ors on the case to withdraw cs from his check he quits his job and gets another one. now he has resorted to waiting tables where he can underclaim his wages and they can only take $25 out of his checks per month. At this point I would like to have my husband adopt them so that later in life he cannot invoke his visitation. but I don't really know what kind of fight I am facing?? any comments would be great.

In an ideal world I would also like to collect the back cs owed to the children. but I don't know what else I can do?? Is there anything??

dad may be willing to allow the adoption, have you asked him?

Have you tried any of the child support recovery programs? Aslo they can take his lisence and restrain him from driving also he can be arrested for non payment, have you looked into this at all?

I would contact the office were your support order started, then request that something be done (ENFORCEMENT ORDER)

I have not yet talked to him about letting my husband adopt the kids but I'm hoping the idea that he would no longer have to pay cs might intice him to agree to it.

I guess my big questions are I had been contacting Office of Recovery Services just about every two months but I never got anywhere they told me the only thing I can do is hire an attorny however they said that Judges in this state have frowned upon taking any action against fathers because if they don't have a drivers licence or spend time in jail they wouldn't be going to work anyway. I get very discouraged every time I think of the Brand New Truck he is driving or the house he just had built. And the last he heard of us was me begging for groceries. Is there any way I could push the state to take action?

I have not yet talked to him about letting my husband adopt the kids but I'm hoping the idea that he would no longer have to pay cs might intice him to agree to it.

I guess my big questions are I had been contacting Office of Recovery Services just about every two months but I never got anywhere they told me the only thing I can do is hire an attorny however they said that Judges in this state have frowned upon taking any action against fathers because if they don't have a drivers licence or spend time in jail they wouldn't be going to work anyway. I get very discouraged every time I think of the Brand New Truck he is driving or the house he just had built. And the last he heard of us was me begging for groceries. Is there any way I could push the state to take action?
Talk to ex first about relinquishing rights so that your husband can adopt. If your main goal is adoption you can always use forgiving the arrears as a bargaining tool, if Dad agrees to terminate and the adoption you won't seek payment of arrears. This can only be done if ALL of the state assistance you recieved has been paid back to the state. You can check with the state agency to see if ex owes the state any of the arrears.
If he doesn't agree to adoption you should consult with an attorney about filing to have the court terminate rights, it's not always easy to do, but an attorney will be able to look at the facts and let you know if it can be done or not.