DSS went out and investigated my ex-daughter-in-law. After they left, they called my son and asked a bunch of questions. They also told him they were on their way to the day care. (I am assuming that the doctor reported her for neglect, my 4 year old grandson suffered from an untreated ear infection that resulted in surgery). Therefore, my question is...since they contacted my son, does this mean they found something that they didn't like? One lady that I know said that if they are not concerned about anything, they don't contact the dad or anyone else. Is this true?

Thanks!

It is their job to investigate thoroughly. They may have indeed found something that they do not like, but going to the daycare allows them to check the child without the parent being present to interfere or scare the child into not saying anything. They may also question the daycare provider in regards to the child. Is he fed when he arrives, is he properly clothed, has he ever been sick and still sent to care, does he have marks that they have noticed, etc. They typically check cases from all angles. I would say though, usually when it gets that deep to where they are questioning the daycare and such, there is a reason. Something somewhere came back questionable, otherwise they would declare the alligations unfounded and close it.

DSS went out and investigated my ex-daughter-in-law. After they left, they called my son and asked a bunch of questions. They also told him they were on their way to the day care. (I am assuming that the doctor reported her for neglect, my 4 year old grandson suffered from an untreated ear infection that resulted in surgery). Therefore, my question is...since they contacted my son, does this mean they found something that they didn't like? One lady that I know said that if they are not concerned about anything, they don't contact the dad or anyone else. Is this true?

Thanks!

Not always. If there is an investigation, they normally interview both parents. Does the exDIL live with anyone? If so, they would interview that person as well. Sometimes they interview the neighbors if their suspicions are great enough.

I doubt the MD would have called DSS over an ear infection (untreated or otherwise). There are many times that a child will have an ear infection and the symptoms are so vague that the parent may not realize it is anything other than a fever. Many common viruses present with only a fever. If the child is not acting like they are in pain, (cranky, pulling at ears, chewing fingers excessively, etc...,) the parent many times will not take a child to the doctor if they can control the fever at home. Even if she did take the child to the doctor and otitis media was diagnosed and a prescription was issued, unless the presicription was not filled, you couldn't prove that the worsening condition was her fault. It may have been that the type of infection the child had was not within the effective spectrum of the antibiotic prescribed.

Thanks Shopgirl for the reply!! They will get an ear full at the daycare. The daycare told me & my son that anytime the kids are sick and they call her, she will not come and get them. They said once, one had a temp of 104 and she did not come for 3 1/2 hours. They also said that the boys never had on a coat in the winter time and that she started sending them in sandals and flip flops in Feb. The said that it had gotten so bad trying to contact her about the kids, she would not answer her phone when she saw it was from daycare, they had to resort to using their personal phones to contact her, so she wouldn't know where the call was coming from. The DSS worker told my son that the house was overall pretty clean, other than an offensive odor. However, I feel that there was something that they saw they didn't like. My son & she are having a custody battle July 25th & 26th, so just pray that the Lord's will be done, which ever way that may be. I just want those precious boys to be taken care of. My son actually does a really great job with them when he is allowed (by her), to have them. They are great little kids.

The daycare told me & my son that anytime the kids are sick and they call her, she will not come and get them. They said once, one had a temp of 104 and she did not come for 3 1/2 hours. They also said that the boys never had on a coat in the winter time and that she started sending them in sandals and flip flops in Feb. The said that it had gotten so bad trying to contact her about the kids, she would not answer her phone when she saw it was from daycare, they had to resort to using their personal phones to contact her, so she wouldn't know where the call was coming from.


My son & she are having a custody battle July 25th & 26th,

Initially I thought "then of course the referral would have come from the daycare" (mandated reporters). Then I read that line about the custody issues. This will not play well for your son in court. It's too much of a coincidence that DSS becomes involved so close to a custody hearing. Too many people use this tactic prior to a custody hearing and the report, if found to be unsubstantiated, will be held against your son in court. I hope the "anonymous" reporter realizes this.

Not always. If there is an investigation, they normally interview both parents. Does the exDIL live with anyone? If so, they would interview that person as well. Sometimes they interview the neighbors if their suspicions are great enough.

I doubt the MD would have called DSS over an ear infection (untreated or otherwise). There are many times that a child will have an ear infection and the symptoms are so vague that the parent may not realize it is anything other than a fever. Many common viruses present with only a fever. If the child is not acting like they are in pain, (cranky, pulling at ears, chewing fingers excessively, etc...,) the parent many times will not take a child to the doctor if they can control the fever at home. Even if she did take the child to the doctor and otitis media was diagnosed and a prescription was issued, unless the presicription was not filled, you couldn't prove that the worsening condition was her fault. It may have been that the type of infection the child had was not within the effective spectrum of the antibiotic prescribed.

Actually, the ENT surgeon was very upset because she admitted that she did not take him to the dr. for the ear infection, she was treating it with an over the counter ear drops. The ENT told her and us that the mastoiditis was caused by the untreated ear infection. The child is 4 years old and he told the dr. that he asked his mom to take him to the dr. and that she said no. He stayed in the hospital for 7 days, and they had to drill a one inch hole in his skull and put in a pump to drain out the infection. He has significant hearing loss, but they will not know if it is permenant until some of the swelling goes down and they can re-test his hearing. My son's attorney has retreived the medical records and it states clearly, the cause is due to improper medical treatment.

His ear was so obviously messed up, it would take a blind person not to see it. Nothing vague here. My son has the boys whenever she takes a notion to let him have them. He picked them up and as soon as they got home, he saw that his ear was swollen and had a 2 inch knot on his mastoid bone. He immedately took him to the ER and they treated him with IV antibiotics and transported him to another hospital.

I don't know what exDIL means. But if it means the mother, yes she lives with a boyfriend that she was seeing while married to my son. If it means the father, no he is not living with anyone.

Initially I thought "then of course the referral would have come from the daycare" (mandated reporters). Then I read that line about the custody issues. This will not play well for your son in court. It's too much of a coincidence that DSS becomes involved so close to a custody hearing. Too many people use this tactic prior to a custody hearing and the report, if found to be unsubstantiated, will be held against your son in court. I hope the "anonymous" reporter realizes this.

I don't know how it could be held against my son, he / we, didn't have anything to do with it. The "anonymous" reporter had to obviously be the doctor, I suppose. It may have been the daycare, but, my son, nor myself, have ever picked the kids up at daycare until the oldest one was in the hospital and I was keeping the little one. I picked him up at daycare to take him to the hospital to see his brother and that is the first time I have ever, met or talked to any of those people. They followed me all the way to my suv telling me stuff about her. I told my son to talk to them the next day when he dropped off the baby. The custody hearing has just come up due to all of this neglect. The baby was allowed to fall out of a shopping cart back a few months ago. He fell out on his head in the parking lot. He was hurt, but it could have been life threatening. I.E...fractured skull. etc.

I don't know how it could be held against my son, he / we, didn't have anything to do with it. The "anonymous" reporter had to obviously be the doctor, I suppose. It may have been the daycare, but, my son, nor myself, have ever picked the kids up at daycare until the oldest one was in the hospital and I was keeping the little one. I picked him up at daycare to take him to the hospital to see his brother and that is the first time I have ever, met or talked to any of those people. They followed me all the way to my suv telling me stuff about her. I told my son to talk to them the next day when he dropped off the baby. The custody hearing has just come up due to all of this neglect. The baby was allowed to fall out of a shopping cart back a few months ago. He fell out on his head in the parking lot. He was hurt, but it could have been life threatening. I.E...fractured skull. etc.

I am giving to the benefit of my experience both as a mandated reporter (ER trauma nurse) and as the step mother of a child that was taken from her mother by Children's Services, and as a party in that custody dispute, dealing with Children's Services for nearly a year.

When was the report made? I venture to bet that it was after you and your son became more actively involved with these children. You yourself said that neither of you picked up the children from daycare until the one became ill. Was the report made before or after this time? Whether or not she allowed you to do this prior to the child's illness is irrelevant to this particular discussion. What is very near in the future regarding these children and their parents? A custody suit. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to determine the most likely "anonymous" source of the reporting. If not you or your son, then someone extrememly close to "your side". And that is exactly how the court will see it if the report is found to be unsubstantiated. Children's Services may not be able to determine who made the report as many reportings are anonymous and therefore unable to clear you and your son as the source. I'm just saying, because of the timing of this, it may bite your son in the bottom unless Children's Services is able to determine the report is founded.

I am giving to the benefit of my experience both as a mandated reporter (ER trauma nurse) and as the step mother of a child that was taken from her mother by Children's Services, and as a party in that custody dispute, dealing with Children's Services for nearly a year.

When was the report made? I venture to bet that it was after you and your son became more actively involved with these children. You yourself said that neither of you picked up the children from daycare until the one became ill. Was the report made before or after this time? Whether or not she allowed you to do this prior to the child's illness is irrelevant to this particular discussion. What is very near in the future regarding these children and their parents? A custody suit. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to determine the most likely "anonymous" source of the reporting. If not you or your son, then someone extrememly close to "your side". And that is exactly how the court will see it if the report is found to be unsubstantiated. Children's Services may not be able to determine who made the report as many reportings are anonymous and therefore unable to clear you and your son as the source. I'm just saying, because of the timing of this, it may bite your son in the bottom unless Children's Services is able to determine the report is founded.


As far as when the report was made, I would assume it was sometime around the same time, because the oldest one was in the hospital. The DSS lady never said when it was made.
What are you referring to when you state "when me & my son became more actively involved with these children"? We have always been a loving part of their lives, when the witch would let him have them. It's funny to me how women automatically have the control and power to withhold the children from their daddy. She used to be a wonderful mother, but now she must be too busy with her boyfriend to be bothered with the kids. But, she sure does want that child support!! The dss lady also said that they had a report for fraud. Something about her saying that she hasn't got a job but she is opening up a restuarant and she needs a little more time. So from what my son understood, the day care is being paid by for by our tax dollars, however, she is working everyday and they do have proof of this. They told him that she is being investigated for a report of fraud. There is noway in this world that my son or I would know this info.
As for not picking them up at daycare, I have never had a reason to! I don't raise my grandchildren, that is what their parents are for and if they can't do it, then of course I would.
Why is it that you assume that myself, my son or someone from my side reported anything? What gives you the confidence that a report won't be substantiated?
I never said, in this discussion that she didn't allow me to pick them up. I was merely stating that I had never had a reason to do so. By the way, there wasn't a single person on the list to pick them up from my son's family, just her boyfriend and her family.
In fact, her aunt, on her mother's side, said that she was going to report her for not taking him to the dr. therefore, it could have been anyone, as alot of people were upset about the unnecessary suffering he had to endure. Her aunt said that at the hospital.
Unless you know all of the facts, it is hard to comment on any case. I simply wondered if it meant anything because she called my son and asked a bunch of questions. She seemed to have an attitude against the old daughter in law. Which the daughter in law has this attitude anyway that can just piss you off in the beginning.
Bottom line is I, nor my son, nor anyone (that I know of) in my family had anything to do with the report. But I can assure you one thing, whomever did make a report, did it for the benefit of those boys and not for a custody case!! Why are you so certain that it had to come out of malise from the father's side of the family? He has been dumped on by her so much and yet he has done everything possible to still be respectful to her and her stupid boyfriend. He is a wonderful father and has not deserved any of this. But, this is not about him or her, it is about two wonderful little boys. For several months, they said that their mom is mean to them, we assumed they were making it up, due to the fact that they say they want to live with their daddy. Evidently, there must be something to it after all.

Whether or not she allowed you to do this prior to the child's illness is irrelevant to this particular discussion. This discussion is about Children's Services conducting an investigation in regards to neglect of the children. Not about whether or not the mother allowed visitation. Stay focused here.


Why is it that you assume that myself, my son or someone from my side reported anything? What gives you the confidence that a report won't be substantiated? I never said the report would not be substantiated. I said IF the report is not substantiated. And someone close to the situation had to have reported it, and I sincerely doubt it was the mother. Since your son and she are in a custody dispute, I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON THAT WILL SEE THIS IS TOO CLOSE TO BE A COINCIDENCE.

The dss lady also said that they had a report for fraud. Something about her saying that she hasn't got a job but she is opening up a restuarant and she needs a little more time. So from what my son understood, the day care is being paid by for by our tax dollars, however, she is working everyday and they do have proof of this. They told him that she is being investigated for a report of fraud.Children's Services does not investigate welfare fraud. They just don't.
What are you referring to when you state "when me & my son became more actively involved with these children"? We have always been a loving part of their lives,First you write this.......

We have always been a loving part of their lives, when the witch would let him have them.then you write this, then.......

I never said, in this discussion that she didn't allow me to pick them up. I was merely stating that I had never had a reason to do so. By the way, there wasn't a single person on the list to pick them up from my son's family, just her boyfriend and her family. you write this.

Make up your mind. Either she lets him (you) be an active part of their lives or she doesn't. I never once questioned you or your son's love for the children. But, love isn't the same thing as regularly doing things with or for the kids. IF YOUR QUESTION WAS ABOUT THE MOTHER NOT ALLOWING VISITATION AND IF I FELT THAT WAS OKAY......HELL NO. But that was NOT your question so it doesn't really matter to me IN THIS CONTEXT because your question was about Children's Services and their usual manner of how they conduct investigations.

And as far as my experience and position to answer your original question, I've already presented my "credentials" as it were. So far, just this year, as a mandated reporter, I have had to testify 7 times, in court, on the cases that were refered from our ER. And in those cases, where the report was made during a custody dispute, that very thing was brought up and the circumstances WERE questioned.

Should you need anymore advice, since you seem to have a problem with hearing things that you don't want to hear, I suggest you consult an attorney.

OP, I think the issue with your thread is that you are taking nonpartisan legal advice from someone who has had direct experience with a situation like yours and personalizing it. You seem, how do I say this....not happy that the children are in an unsuitable environment, but 'happy' that this has happened so that you can get your hot little hands on those kids. Do you understand what I am saying? It's hard to convey with typed words. If you reported the abuse, AS ANYONE SHOULD HAVE DONE FROM THE BEGINNING, there is nothing wrong with that, but you or your son need to be upfront about it. Otherwise, it looks like you (or someone colse to you) have made a report NOT for the sake of the children, but timed it in such a manner to give your son's custody argument more weight. Nobody is saying that these children were not being neglected. We are saying that the timing looks very suspicious. If the neglect/abuse was this bad, why was it not reported when the children were left with no coat, when the children were abandoned at the day care, when they were wearing sandals in the dead of winter, when the child fell out of the buggy. Why wait until right before the custody hearing? Get the point? If you or your son reported her, come clean with your reasoning. Otherwise, it is VERY suspicious, and the judge will think so, too.

As I stated before...we did not know anything about the day care concerns, until recent!! And as far as getting my "hot little hands" on these boys, how dare you!! It is not my intent to raise my grandchildren, I have raised my children! I have been a normal Grandmother in my grandchildren's lives. It has never been my son's intent to try and obtain custody either. He has always felt that they needed their mother most, up until this situation arised. As for the little one falling out of the buggy, that is the most incredible thing I have ever heard of! However, we didn't think (at the time) that there was possibly non-supervision at work, maybe just a freak accident. My son retrieved his son's medical records at the 2nd hospital on Friday July 21, and it does state in the documents, that Child protective services were notified.
It seems to me that the two of you, have attitude problems. Someone seems a little bitter to me. I feel sorry for the men involved in custody situations, they always seem to get dumped on!

[QUOTE=Ohio "Step" Mom]


Children's Services does not investigate welfare fraud. They just don't.

As obvious, we must do everything down South different. Including attitudes. Our local Department of Social Services has a fraud investigation unit. They absoulutely investigate fraud of child support and day care voucher fraud. I never said anything about "welfare fraud". So, I don't know where you got that from.


[QUOTE=Ohio "Step" Mom]
And as far as my experience and position to answer your original question, I've already presented my "credentials" as it were. So far, just this year, as a mandated reporter, I have had to testify 7 times, in court, on the cases that were refered from our ER. And in those cases, where the report was made during a custody dispute, that very thing was brought up and the circumstances WERE questioned.

I don't doubt that it was brought up. If I testified Everyday in court as a mandated reporter, that would not make me an expert in DSS work. My question was merely; does it indicate anything that they were pursuing it further! My only dealings EVER, with DSS, was an aquaintance they investigated, one time, one day, and closed it and did not ask anyone questions aside from the mother. The case was closed and found unsubstaniated and dismissed the same day. As I stated prior: we never knew there were any problems at the day care. Also as stated in an earlier post, the ENT did report and the attorney found out from DSS, that the first hospital he was taken to, made a report as well. I can only assume that the day care must have made a report as well, after I left that one and only day that I have ever p/u the kid. (This particular day care) I have picked them up from other babysitters they have stayed with in the past. By the way, they have went through some baby sitters.

My only prayer is that the kids are taken care of no matter who has them and until recently I have not known that there was reason to worry about it. This is the reason my son is trying to get them.

OP, I think the issue with your thread is that you are taking nonpartisan legal advice from someone who has had direct experience with a situation like yours and personalizing it. You seem, how do I say this....not happy that the children are in an unsuitable environment, but 'happy' that this has happened so that you can get your hot little hands on those kids. Do you understand what I am saying? It's hard to convey with typed words. If you reported the abuse, AS ANYONE SHOULD HAVE DONE FROM THE BEGINNING, there is nothing wrong with that, but you or your son need to be upfront about it. Otherwise, it looks like you (or someone colse to you) have made a report NOT for the sake of the children, but timed it in such a manner to give your son's custody argument more weight. Nobody is saying that these children were not being neglected. We are saying that the timing looks very suspicious. If the neglect/abuse was this bad, why was it not reported when the children were left with no coat, when the children were abandoned at the day care, when they were wearing sandals in the dead of winter, when the child fell out of the buggy. Why wait until right before the custody hearing? Get the point? If you or your son reported her, come clean with your reasoning. Otherwise, it is VERY suspicious, and the judge will think so, too.

And by the way, how could anyone, espically a maw maw, be "happy" that a child (any child) is in an unsuitable environment? That is a very stupid statement!! As for reporting it at the beginning...as far as we know, this is the beginning! As I have said, we did not know there was anything going on to be concerned about!

And again, you are adding fuel to the fire by not taking the advice given as it is intended. I did NOT say you were happy that the children were in an unsuitable situation. I SAID that the timing of the investigation and the fact that nobody (read you, your son, the daycare, ANYBODY) reported any of this before. This is obviously not a new situation if the children were not dressed appropriately in the winter. It is now the end of JULY and your son is entering into a custody hearing. How convenient that the investigation comes up just in time. Please feel free to disregard any information that you disagree with. At the same time, feel free to discontinue this "discussion". By the way, I DARE because, whether you like it or not, we are right in how the court will look at this situation IF the investigation does not pan out in your favor. And, I am in the south, so please don't try to tell me that the south is different. Good luck.

And again, you are adding fuel to the fire by not taking the advice given as it is intended. I did NOT say you were happy that the children were in an unsuitable situation. I SAID that the timing of the investigation and the fact that nobody (read you, your son, the daycare, ANYBODY) reported any of this before. This is obviously not a new situation if the children were not dressed appropriately in the winter. It is now the end of JULY and your son is entering into a custody hearing. How convenient that the investigation comes up just in time. Please feel free to disregard any information that you disagree with. At the same time, feel free to discontinue this "discussion". By the way, I DARE because, whether you like it or not, we are right in how the court will look at this situation IF the investigation does not pan out in your favor. And, I am in the south, so please don't try to tell me that the south is different. Good luck.

Once again, we did not know the kids were not dressed appropriately for the winter, until the day care mentioned it July 5th,2006!! I agree the day care should have reported it, and they are required to report if there are any problems!! However, the kids father, nor myself knew anything about it. How much plainer can I be about us not knowing about the day care concerns? I feel free to discontinue this discussion any time I take the notion and you please feel free to as well.

My following statements are irrelevant to the original post, however, there are other statements that have evolved that weren't as well. I think yall think that I must be the hated old mother in law. Nothing could be further from the truth! She & I have never EVER had a cross word. We have always gotten along very respectfully! Even considering the fact that this current boyfriend, makes boyfriend #5, during the 5 years that my son was married to her. I have never said a word to her about it, because it was none of my business. My son could handle his own problems. My only concern is the boys and to ensure they are being taken care of!! My son bowed down to her to do anything that she wanted and it left him in financial ruins. Only to be booted out and her new boyfriend to move in the same day.

If you read one of my prior posts, the doctor did report the neglect. The report to DSS stated that the infection did get into the cortex. There is significant hearing loss, unknown at this time if permanent or not.The attorney filed an afadavit requesting a emergency removal from the home and with the evidence he presented, it was granted this morning. So, they must of found something.

Good, then what are you so worried about? Now, go do what needs to be done. I hope the children are taken care of, no matter who is awarded custody. Good luck.

Just one more thought...how did your son NOT know of any of this if he has been an involved parent and you have been an involved grandmother? Has anyone spoken to the day care director to find out WHY they never reported the neglect of the children? Has your son reported the daycare for NOT reporting? The daycare is REQUIRED BY LAW to report any suspicions of abuse or neglect. A good parent does not roll over and play dead while his or her children are abused or neglected just to "keep the peace".

As to the question of whether or not the investigation is ongoing and in depth, obviously if CPS is still talking to people who might shed light on the situation, it is. If they did not feel there was anything to investigate, they would have closed the investigation by now. So, NOW do you understand why Ohio Step Mom and I had the thoughts and opinions we did? If not, then it is not worth the time or damage to my manicure to attempt to explain it to you.

The attorney filed an afadavit requesting a emergency removal from the home and with the evidence he presented, it was granted this morning. So, they must of found something.

If Children's Services attorney has had an ex parte hearing, and they have removed the children, there will be another hearing in very short order to determine the adjudication / status of the children. The judge or magistrate will have a hearing with (usually) both parents to determine if the removal was justified and decide whether the children are dependent, neglected, or abused. (something to that effect). Your son needs to be at that hearing. It is not necessary for him to have an attorney BUT it would be better if he has representation. I know you will probably think that your son has done nothing wrong, and perhaps you are right, but THE COURT will hold both parents equally as responsible for the condition of the children and favor neither of the parents right now. They will order home studies and also background checks on anyone living in either your son's home, or the mother's home. If you offer your home, they will do the same. You may want to attend the hearing with your son. (Now is NOT the time, if you attend the hearing to "say your peace" about the mother.)

Usually, at this hearing, once the exparte order is confirmed, the children will be ordered to live in foster care while the home study and background checks are done and visitation will be set up for your son and the children's mother. Your son may request that you be allowed to visit as well but more than likely, they will just set it for him and allow you to attend the visitations. The reason's for visitation is that Children's services wants to see the interaction of your son with his children as well as the interactions with the mother.

Before I respond further, I just need to know, are you going to disregard what I am telling you or are you going to listen? I really don't want to waste my time with this if you're going to dispute my every word.

Yes, I am listening, it is time to bury the proverbial hatchet. Thank you for your response and thanks to Mommy of 4. I will not lash out at the mother about anything. I wouldn't mind telling her how I feel about the inadequate care she has given those gifts from God. However, I will keep my mouth shut and allow the judicial system to work. If I wanted to attack her, I would have done it at the beginning of her first affair! But, that is between her & my son and has no direct bearing on me. I love my son, but if he wasn't taking care of those little kids, then I would be kicking his butt. She was once a wonderful mother, she really was!! She has just found other things to do, (along with a new found freedom), aside from caring for the only ones that really matter!! If you really think I should be at the hearing, I will be there. I wasn't planning on it, because I didn't know if I should be or not. Everything about our lives is totally transparent, we don't have anything to hide or be ashamed of. But if you think my son needs my support or assistance, I will definitely be there. Thanks for the advice!!

Whether you are at the hearing or not is up to your son. The mother can file a motion to exclude you if you are not on good terms and that could delay things.

When your son goes to this first hearing, he needs to ask if he is included in the case plan (with Children's Services). If he is not included he needs to request through the court that he be added. Without being included in the case plan, Children's Services will only be working towards the reunification of the children with their mother.

Sometimes, at that first hearing they will ask if the parties can agree on one person to have the children until the matter is resolved. If the parties can agree (And, while children's services has custody, they are also considered a party to the case. They are the "plaintiffs" and your son and the mother are the "defendants".) they (Children's Services) will expedite that person's home study and background check in order for the children to spend the minimum amount of time in foster care. If you are "that person" then you have to mind your "P's and Q's" and follow the order of the court down to the letter. This is the only way you can help your son right now. If you are not cooperative with the mother's visitation times or try to interfere, it would not be good for your son's case. As much as you may be tempted to do the whole "reap what you sow" deal with your exDIL, now is not the time.

That is exactly how we got my step daughter as soon (4 months into it) as we did. Mom's mother (G-ma) would fight us about every visitation, location, and time. She would be a no show, would call my step daughter's mom on the phone and put her on speaker phone to interrupt the visit. Finally, Children's Services figured out (after we told them for two months of this suspicion) G-ma had given my step daughter back to their mom instead of supervising the visits as the court order said. Children's Services did a spot check and found my step daughter unsupervised with her mother.

Warn your son to control himself during this hearing. Understandably he will probably be emotional but he needs to remain calm and willing to do anything the court asks right now. Not trying to be funny here, but he is going to have to practice his hoop-jumping as well as his back-bending skills right now. The court and Children's Services is really going to be paying attention to who is cooperative with them and accommodating to the other parent right now.

There is also the matter of the original custody case. That will most likely be put on hold until Children's Service's involvement is done. The case with Children's Services may end with your son getting custody but you never know until the Juvenile Court judge says so. (In Ohio, the Juvenile Court has jurisdiction of cases involving Children's Services.)

Until the first hearing is over, that's all I have I think. Let us know how things go. It might be as early at Tuesday morning (if exparte was Monday) so good luck. If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

Thank you so kindly for the information! I would never show myself or interfere with any of the proceedings. I truly want what is best for my grandbabies.

My son impressed me so much last night! I always knew he was a good boy/man, but he said that he never wants to take the kids away from their mama and that if he gets full custody, if she, was to muture and focus on what is important (those babes) that he would be more than willing to share custody with her, like every other week or so. He also said that he thinks that she should have them half of their lives and so should he. He said it would be different if he was a mean or bad father / husband, or an abuser, but he has always been good to her and the babies. He said that he is not interested in slinging mud or making mama look bad, that he only wants those little boys taken care, loved and protected.

I hope for all of their sakes, that it don't get really ugly, but I'm sure it probably will.

I appreciate your information and will let you know how things turn out.

Everything is in the Lord's hands and I just pray that His will be done.
Thanks again!

While I know this may sound weird, but given your son's apparent lingering feelings about his ex wife, it would be best for him not to be associating (or sitting) with the mother prior to this hearing. It may give a false impression to those standing around (ie caseworkers, court officers) that he is more directly involved with the neglect of the children than he actually is.

He may very well want to remain cordial with his exW and that is probably great for the children in the long run, but not right now. He needs to distance himself from her for right now in the interest of getting the children out of foster care. It (waiting with or prolonged discussion with the exW prior to the hearing) may give the impression that he sees nothing wrong with how the children have been treated or that he was aware of and possibly contributory to what was going on.

While I know this may sound weird, but given your son's apparent lingering feelings about his ex wife, it would be best for him not to be associating (or sitting) with the mother prior to this hearing. It may give a false impression to those standing around (ie caseworkers, court officers) that he is more directly involved with the neglect of the children than he actually is.

He may very well want to remain cordial with his exW and that is probably great for the children in the long run, but not right now. He needs to distance himself from her for right now in the interest of getting the children out of foster care. It (waiting with or prolonged discussion with the exW prior to the hearing) may give the impression that he sees nothing wrong with how the children have been treated or that he was aware of and possibly contributory to what was going on.

Oh no no, it ain't nothing like that. He wouldn't sit beside her if there were a million dollars involved. His only desire to have anything (i.e. discussions) to do with her is for the boys sake. The kids aren't in foster care, dss was doing an investigation, but nothing has arose out of it yet. They went to court this morning, but her attorney called in and said that he couldn't make it, so it was postponed until tomorrow. This will be the custody hearing between he and she. My son's attorney has subpoened the day care & dss. I suppose they hearing will be tomorrow. If nothing changes. Thanks for the best wishes.

The judge determined that she was not as fit a parent as my son is. Therefore, the judge awarded my son full custody, she will get visitations on every other weekend. He wasn't clear on whether or not the visitation will be supervised or not, but he made mention of it. Atty is going to check into it. She said she was seeking an appeal.? He picked up the boys on the same day.

The judge based it on the evidence provided from the medical records, and past babysitters. There were numerous "appointments no shows" and needs to see: ASAP, that never occured. The dr. had scheduled a surgery that needed treated immediately, and she did not follow up with this until 2 1/2 months later. The judge said that he did not see evidence of abuse, however, he saw alot of evidence of negligant supervision and neglect. He gave her about a 30 minute talk about the importance of following up with medical care and how it could potentially be detremental to the children. He said I don't care if you never go to the dr., but these little ones look to you to take them, they can't do it for themselves. I'm sorry that a mother is losing her children, but I am thankful that they will now be taken care of!!

Thank you for input and advise. May God bless all the children in the world.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy for you, your son, and the kids!!!

From here on out, their lives will be blessed with so much more.

Make sure to get that one little wrinkle straigtened out about the supervision as soon as possible. As far as the appeal, in case she goes through with it, make sure your son keeps a record of every visitation, every interaction, every single detail from now till then. The better prepared he is, the better the chances are that custody will remain as is.

Best Wishes!!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy for you, your son, and the kids!!!

From here on out, their lives will be blessed with so much more.

Make sure to get that one little wrinkle straigtened out about the supervision as soon as possible. As far as the appeal, in case she goes through with it, make sure your son keeps a record of every visitation, every interaction, every single detail from now till then. The better prepared he is, the better the chances are that custody will remain as is.

Best Wishes!!!!!

Thank you sooo much for the best wishes and blessings!! Also, thank you for the advise and guidance!! I would have never known how happy they would be to live with their daddy. They were eccstatic! The 4 yr. old said "I always wanted to live with you, my mama is a dummy". Dad said no she is not and don't talk about your mom like that, she loves you very much. I know in my heart, he will raise them right and take extra good care of them. His atty said he would find out about the visitation supervision. I sorta hope she don't go through with an appeal, this is a very stressful situation. I will tell him exactly what you are saying about documentation. The judge told my son to go home and be the daddy that he knows in his gut that he already is, and he said you have my prayers and blessings. That really surprised me! I was really prepared for my son to get the heart break of his life, but thank God he had a judge that could see past her pretty face and big hoo-haas. Thank you again and may God bless.

How wonderful! Give the kids lots of hugs and kisses!

How wonderful! Give the kids lots of hugs and kisses!


I will!! Thank you so much for your advise! Of everything in this world, the kids are what matters! I never knew just how much she wasn't taking care of things! The medical records absolutely blowed my mind! They were filled with recommendations necessities and follow ups, and she did not ever take them back. The ENT asked her at the hospital if their shots were up to date and she said yes. Their family dr. said they were behind, my son has already taken them to the dr. and got them caught up, all they will need is a couple more booster shots. How can somebody be so slack on something so potentially dangerous? I don't understand! You better believe from now on out, I won't be so assuming that everything is alright! Not with my son, nor with their mothers. (this goes for potential future grandbabies, even if their mama and daddys are together). Grandma will be watching!
Once again, thank you for everything! And may God bless each and everyone of your families!