My long-time boyfriend has 3 children. He was never married to their mother, though. She HAD custody of them but he is on the birth certificate and had a paternity test on one child. She recently married a convicted sex offender. After reports of abuse towards the children and complaints from the community, the children were taken from her. My boyfriend was never contacted by anyone and did not even know that the kids were taken because the mother lied to him repeatedly. The children were placed with their mom's father-their grandfather. We only just found out from him that he had the kids. My boyfriend immediately went to see his children and contacted DFS. DFS asked if he could take the kids, and he said YES, I WANT THEM!!!! They said they just needed our information and they would call back. They didn't call back and we found out from the grandparents that they came and took the kids to the mother's mother in another town afater we spoke to DFS. Now, my boyfriend will have no way to even talk to his children and the worst part is that she has been and most likely will continue to bring the boyfriend around the kids even though she has been ordered not to and there is nothing we can do! Please help! We have to do something and we are lost!!!!!!!!! Any information anyone can give will help!!!!

He needs to immediately file for custody of the children through the courts. Have any and all information (reports from DFS, etc.) ready to present in court to support his assertation that he is the better parent for the children to live with. The bio parent's rights come before any other party.

In my experience with CPS, they and the court initially "acted" as if my exH rights as a parent were not that important because he did not have a "relationship" with his daughter. The mother only let him see her sporadically before CPS took custody. When we went to court for the first couple of hearings, we were all but ignored. They gave initial temporary custody to the mother's mother. (who promptly gave mom the child back and only brought her to visitation for "show") Eventually this was proven and we immediately got custody. (after 4 months of BS with our visitations)

It's kind of a trial by fire because they really want to know for sure you are serious about taking care of your child(ren). You have to make sure he is in weekly contact with the caseworkers, your caseworker's supervisor, and the Guardian Ad Litem (the attorney that is appointed to represent the child's interests). These are your boyfriends children and he has the right to know all of the information regarding the case.

You have to make sure that your boyfriend is included in the Case Plan when he files for custody (which he should do immediately). Since they have already probably had a hearing (or more) you have to make sure he is at the next one to request this and to have a home study and background checks done, and visitation set up (they will want to see the interaction between he and his children). Even though he is the father, CPS still requires this because officially, they now have custody.

You have to be persistent and your best bet is to hire an attorney. When CPS is involved it makes things a lot more difficult. The longer the children are with the grandparents, the more the courts will drag their feet.

I wish you the best of luck and keep us informed.

My husband and I are going through much of the same thing...Children were taken away from mother by DCF...we were not notifed...we found out, through an attorney for the maternal grandparents...she(bm) was giving guardianship to her parents..she told everyone she didn't know where we were, which was a lie. We live in Fla and she lives in Missouri. The grandparents do not allow us nor the mother to visit with the kids..my husband never signed the guardianship papers...DCF said they wanted the kids with us, but it didn't happen...You must file NOW to gain custody..due to our financial situation, we were unable to fight the mother or grandparents...now the mother wants us to have custody of the children. We had to file a petition with the courts and have a court date set...you will need to call the courthouse in the county the were in. We go to court on the 28th of this month for out of state visitation and termination of guardianship. Talk to an attorney..we spoke to several and we are now doing all the leg work on our own...you may be able to find an attorney that can walk you through the procedures....GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!

If he is still paying child support...he needs to call the child support agency and let them know what is going on...also, they may ask him to continue to pay support for the children,but it will not go to the mother...the agency will let him know all the details...do it now, or the mother will get the money..same thing happened to us also

Thanks for the advice everyone. We are going to keep working on it and I will keep you informed.

You also need to document every time he makes contact with them and what was discussed. This way CPS and or the grandparents cannot claim that he has not tried to be involved. You may want to buy a recorder for your phone (Radio Shack has one that is reasonable that works with micro cassettes but I have heard the digital ones are better because you don't run out of tape).

good luck!!!