Hi Ted,

I've been busy all week and am just catching up on all the posts.
Somewhere in one of the threads you made a comment and now I can't
find the post to reply to. I didn't want the opportunity to slip by so
I'm starting a new thread. :0

You mentioned that the morning your wife initiated and you burst into
tears, she said something to you about "feeling dead" for months. Have
you discussed this with her any further? I thought that might be
significant. Any plans to bring it up in your next counseling session?

Also in another post you remarked that you were going to write
Schnarch a letter because your situation was not going according to
his plan. I totally disagree - I think it's going completely according
to Schnarch! Re-read the book if necessary. I recall distinctly that
he relates how when the reticent partner finally starts making the
requested changes, the partner requesting the changes often responds
by panicking.

jen

"Doug Anderson" <ethelthelog@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:oasmgn7y8o.fsf@noether.uoregon.edu... Consider also the possiblity that therapy forced her to confront how she felt about things. And that doing that also knocked her for a loop because she discovered things she was unhappy about which hitherto she had successfully walled off.
It's possible, given her remark in our last counselling session (I think it
was) that now she was going to raise her expectations about me. Five words, eh? Three words I could guess. Maybe seven words. Five I'm having trouble with.

Actually, it was six. I just counted.

Ted

>Actually, it was six. I just counted.Ted

For gawd's sake Ted, stop being coy. If you are going to tell us, just tell
us.

Sheila

In article <20040305191240.02169.00001042@mb-m19.aol.com>, WhansaMi
<whansami@aol.com> wrote:
For gawd's sake Ted, stop being coy. If you are going to tell us, just tell us.

Nope. Ain't gonna tell.

Ted

>In article <20040305191240.02169.00001042@mb-m19.aol.com>, WhansaMi<whansami@aol.com> wrote: For gawd's sake Ted, stop being coy. If you are going to tell us, justtell us.Nope. Ain't gonna tell.Ted

Ted, this is what drives me nuts about you -- your insatiable desire for drama
and to manipulate people's attention toward you.

You've mentioned this "statement" not once, not twice, but three or four or
five times. You obviously want people to know that "something" has been said,
to wonder, to ask. And *you* want to play games with people.

I think this may not be very far removed from how you interact with your
wife... sort of the "Guess what *I'M* thinking, guess what *I* want!" kind of
thing, coupled with the need to be the center of attention. It is a very
immature interaction style, and not very condusive to having an intimate, adult
relationship with someone.

Sheila

"Seeker" <tedds212removethis@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<c2au08$1q3imv$1@ID-123438.news.uni-berlin.de>... "Doug Anderson" <ethelthelog@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:oasmgn7y8o.fsf@noether.uoregon.edu... Consider also the possiblity that therapy forced her to confront how she felt about things. And that doing that also knocked her for a loop because she discovered things she was unhappy about which hitherto she had successfully walled off. It's possible, given her remark in our last counselling session (I think it was) that now she was going to raise her expectations about me. Five words, eh? Three words I could guess. Maybe seven words. Five I'm having trouble with. Actually, it was six. I just counted. Ted

1. Put 2. My 3. Ankles 4. Around 5. Your 6. Ears

jen

WhansaMi wrote: In article <20040305191240.02169.00001042@mb-m19.aol.com>, WhansaMi <whansami@aol.com> wrote: For gawd's sake Ted, stop being coy. If you are going to tell us, just
tell us. Nope. Ain't gonna tell. Ted Ted, this is what drives me nuts about you -- your insatiable desire for
drama and to manipulate people's attention toward you. You've mentioned this "statement" not once, not twice, but three or four or five times. You obviously want people to know that "something" has been
said, to wonder, to ask. And *you* want to play games with people. I think this may not be very far removed from how you interact with your wife... sort of the "Guess what *I'M* thinking, guess what *I* want!" kind of thing, coupled with the need to be the center of attention. It is a very immature interaction style, and not very condusive to having an intimate, adult relationship with someone.

He'd prefer to have this one, I think. Don't you?

In article <c8cb5319.0403060551.79fdfc70@posting.google.com>,
shinypenny <shinypenny0001@yahoo.com> wrote:
1. Put 2. My 3. Ankles 4. Around 5. Your 6. Ears

LOL! I'm afraid neither one of us is limber enough for that sort of
gymnastics anymore.

Ted

In article <20040306083143.20582.00000882@mb-m24.aol.com>, WhansaMi
<whansami@aol.com> wrote:
Ted, this is what drives me nuts about you -- your insatiable desire for drama and to manipulate people's attention toward you.

If you choose to interpret it that way, that's your prerogative.

Ted