I am the office manager in a Dr's office. My employer and I had a monogamous relationship for over 2 years prior to a 5 month old break up. I was in the relationship before I was hired. I have been asked by him to meet his new girlfriend (who was once his wife) and been informed that she wants to be a part of the office environment, which means that she is welcomed to visit when she wishes. Is this request a legitimate one or harassment? I asked him if he was asking this of me as my employer. He responded affirmatively. I have this reqest in an email that I didn't receive until after he had contacted me by telephone some hours after he wrote the email.

I am the office manager in a Dr's office. My employer and I had a monogamous relationship for over 2 years prior to a 5 month old break up. I was in the relationship before I was hired. I have been asked by him to meet his new girlfriend (who was once his wife) and been informed that she wants to be a part of the office environment, which means that she is welcomed to visit when she wishes. Is this request a legitimate one or harassment? I asked him if he was asking this of me as my employer. He responded affirmatively. I have this reqest in an email that I didn't receive until after he had contacted me by telephone some hours after he wrote the email.
It may be uncomfortable,but he has every right to expect you to treat her like any other employee is expected to treat her when she is there. There is nothing illegal about this request to the best of my knowledge.

I am the office manager in a Dr's office. My employer and I had a monogamous relationship for over 2 years prior to a 5 month old break up. I was in the relationship before I was hired. I have been asked by him to meet his new girlfriend (who was once his wife) and been informed that she wants to be a part of the office environment, which means that she is welcomed to visit when she wishes. Is this request a legitimate one or harassment? I asked him if he was asking this of me as my employer. He responded affirmatively. I have this reqest in an email that I didn't receive until after he had contacted me by telephone some hours after he wrote the email.

I forgot to add that I have never met this woman and am being asked to schedule a meeting with her. Do I have to?

Your supervisor is asking you to meet with someone for business-related reasons. Unless, you have evidence that the reason to meet is for illegal reasons, then you must comply or be subject to disciplinary action up to and including termination. Moreover, because you have yet to meet this woman it would be more than difficult to prove the request was harassment if you chose not to meet ... rather you failed to determine whether or not the request was in fact for legitimate business purposes.

Why not meet her, then make a determination whether this request was legitimate for the purposes of running his practice?

Sorry, but having to deal with your former love interest's girlfriend/ex wife is one of the hazards of working with someone you dated. He doesn't have ot forbid her from coming by the office because you two broke up and it might be uncomfortable for you. How would he know that it would still cause you problems? You broke up several months ago and presumably knew this person was once part of his life as she was once married to him.

This guy probably needs to stop hiring his girlfriends but it is perfectly legal to do so. If she is to be part of the business, then as a fellow employee, you need to treat her as any other. That includes meeting with her if requested.