> And don't worry. Even if you do nothing, this will most likely fix
itself. As your baby grows and you get more sleep your natural feelings for your husband will return.

I doubt it Jayne. More than likely she will resent the responsibility that
having a child entails (she already does, if I read her post right). Soon
she will be griping at her husband because he doesn't help out enough around
the house which will eventually drive him away emotionally. Then she will
complain that he is distant and uninterested in participating in her and
"her daughter's" life. Then she will feel as though "something is missing"
from their relationship (even if he is a stellar father). Ultimately she
will seek consolation in the arms of a "co-worker" or other male and the
whole sick cycle will repeat itself.

I've seen it happen sooooooooo many times.

SD

"Shashay Doofray" <Shashay@email.com> wrote in message
news:bunjan$jcr35$1@ID-177524.news.uni-berlin.de... And don't worry. Even if you do nothing, this will most likely fix itself. As your baby grows and you get more sleep your natural feelings for your husband will return. I doubt it Jayne. More than likely she will resent the responsibility
that having a child entails (she already does, if I read her post right). Soon she will be griping at her husband because he doesn't help out enough
around the house which will eventually drive him away emotionally. Then she will complain that he is distant and uninterested in participating in her and "her daughter's" life. Then she will feel as though "something is
missing" from their relationship (even if he is a stellar father). Ultimately she will seek consolation in the arms of a "co-worker" or other male and the whole sick cycle will repeat itself.

This is Stephanie's second child. None of this happened when they had their
first child so I doubt that it will happen with their second. Nor did I see
any sign that she is inclined to blame and resent her husand. They handled
one child well enough that they felt able to take on another. Sometimes
having a child is more stress that a marriage can handle. Sometimes it
strengthens a marriage. All the vibes I got from Stephanie's posts lead me
to think that her marriage is in that latter category.

Jayne

"Jayne Kulikauskas" <momkulio@yahoo.ca> wrote in message
"Shashay Doofray" <Shashay@email.com> wrote in message I doubt it Jayne. More than likely she will resent the responsibility that having a child entails (she already does, if I read her post right). Soon she will be griping at her husband because he doesn't help out enough around the house which will eventually drive him away emotionally. Then she will complain that he is distant and uninterested in participating in her and "her daughter's" life. Then she will feel as though "something is missing" from their relationship (even if he is a stellar father). Ultimately she will seek consolation in the arms of a "co-worker" or other male and the whole sick cycle will repeat itself. This is Stephanie's second child. None of this happened when they had their first child so I doubt that it will happen with their second. Nor did I see any sign that she is inclined to blame and resent her husand. They handled one child well enough that they felt able to take on another. Sometimes having a child is more stress that a marriage can handle. Sometimes it strengthens a marriage. All the vibes I got from Stephanie's posts lead me to think that her marriage is in that latter category.

Well said. Of course you are able to judge the situation clearly and
objectively because you don't have a strong bias in the child/parent
relationship. Unlike SD, who has made it clear that not only she views
children as nuisances at best, but also faults women alone for wanting
them. As if men have no desire to have any kids and only tolerate them
because their wives want them.

"Ellie" <ellie_first@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:27f68249.0401221050.7cd33ac5@posting.google.c om... "Jayne Kulikauskas" <momkulio@yahoo.ca> wrote in message

[] This is Stephanie's second child. None of this happened when they had
their first child so I doubt that it will happen with their second. Nor did I
see any sign that she is inclined to blame and resent her husand. They
handled one child well enough that they felt able to take on another. Sometimes having a child is more stress that a marriage can handle. Sometimes it strengthens a marriage. All the vibes I got from Stephanie's posts lead
me to think that her marriage is in that latter category. Well said. Of course you are able to judge the situation clearly and objectively because you don't have a strong bias in the child/parent relationship.

I'm pleased that you thought I expressed this well, but it seems a bit odd
to me to refer to a woman with 7 children as unbiased on this subject. Have
you noticed that you think I am being objective when I agree with you but
unobjective when I disagree?
Unlike SD, who has made it clear that not only she views children as nuisances at best, but also faults women alone for wanting them. As if men have no desire to have any kids and only tolerate them because their wives want them.

I think that bias concerning the topics we tend to discuss here is
inevitable. We view relationships through the lens of the relationships we
have experienced. It is human nature to understand the unknown by analogy
to the known. So just about everybody has a tendency to project to some
extent. I'm not sure that objectivity is possible. Perhaps the closest we
can come is to recognize and be upfront about our biases.

Jayne

"Jayne Kulikauskas" <momkulio@yahoo.ca> writes:
"Ellie" <ellie_first@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:27f68249.0401221050.7cd33ac5@posting.google.c om... "Jayne Kulikauskas" <momkulio@yahoo.ca> wrote in message [] This is Stephanie's second child. None of this happened when they had their first child so I doubt that it will happen with their second. Nor did I see any sign that she is inclined to blame and resent her husand. They handled one child well enough that they felt able to take on another. Sometimes having a child is more stress that a marriage can handle. Sometimes it strengthens a marriage. All the vibes I got from Stephanie's posts lead me to think that her marriage is in that latter category. Well said. Of course you are able to judge the situation clearly and objectively because you don't have a strong bias in the child/parent relationship. I'm pleased that you thought I expressed this well, but it seems a bit odd to me to refer to a woman with 7 children as unbiased on this subject. Have you noticed that you think I am being objective when I agree with you but unobjective when I disagree?

Notice a big difference between you and SD. SD is biased in the
following ways:
-she thinks people _shouldn't_ have children.
-she thinks children inevitably damage a marriage.
-she seems to think children are universally unpleasant.

Those are biases that you neither share nor reverse. One _couldn't_ say
about you (at least not based on your postings) that you believe people
_should_ (or shouldn't) have children, or that children inevitably
strengthen (or damage) a marriage, or that children are universally
pleasant (or unpleasant).

The fact that SD seems to think that all others ought to behave the
way she does is a significant bias you don't seem to share.

"Shashay Doofray" <Shashay@email.com> wrote in message
news:bunjan$jcr35$1@ID-177524.news.uni-berlin.de... And don't worry. Even if you do nothing, this will most likely fix itself. As your baby grows and you get more sleep your natural feelings for your husband will return. I doubt it Jayne. More than likely she will resent the responsibility
that having a child entails (she already does, if I read her post right).


I do? Are you talking to me? I am the OP.
Soon she will be griping at her husband because he doesn't help out enough
around the house which will eventually drive him away emotionally. Then she will complain that he is distant and uninterested in participating in her and "her daughter's" life. Then she will feel as though "something is
missing" from their relationship (even if he is a stellar father). Ultimately she will seek consolation in the arms of a "co-worker" or other male and the whole sick cycle will repeat itself. I've seen it happen sooooooooo many times. SD


Actually we had some mighty fine bootie last night. I love the man to
distraction. He helps around the house and is sensitive and sweet. He loves
both of our kids to distraction. We have always done parenthood together so
it would not be very ok for me to call her "my" daughter.

Did I write a different post than the one you read?

S

"Ellie" <ellie_first@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:27f68249.0401221050.7cd33ac5@posting.google.c om... "Jayne Kulikauskas" <momkulio@yahoo.ca> wrote in message "Shashay Doofray" <Shashay@email.com> wrote in message I doubt it Jayne. More than likely she will resent the responsibility that having a child entails (she already does, if I read her post right).
Soon she will be griping at her husband because he doesn't help out enough around the house which will eventually drive him away emotionally. Then she
will complain that he is distant and uninterested in participating in her
and "her daughter's" life. Then she will feel as though "something is missing" from their relationship (even if he is a stellar father). Ultimately
she will seek consolation in the arms of a "co-worker" or other male and
the whole sick cycle will repeat itself. This is Stephanie's second child. None of this happened when they had
their first child so I doubt that it will happen with their second. Nor did I
see any sign that she is inclined to blame and resent her husand. They
handled one child well enough that they felt able to take on another. Sometimes having a child is more stress that a marriage can handle. Sometimes it strengthens a marriage. All the vibes I got from Stephanie's posts lead
me to think that her marriage is in that latter category. Well said. Of course you are able to judge the situation clearly and objectively because you don't have a strong bias in the child/parent relationship. Unlike SD, who has made it clear that not only she views children as nuisances at best, but also faults women alone for wanting them. As if men have no desire to have any kids and only tolerate them because their wives want them.

Not the case at all in our marriage.

"Doug Anderson" <ethelthelog@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:9z7jzjohhb.fsf@noether.uoregon.edu... "Jayne Kulikauskas" <momkulio@yahoo.ca> writes: "Ellie" <ellie_first@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:27f68249.0401221050.7cd33ac5@posting.google.c om... "Jayne Kulikauskas" <momkulio@yahoo.ca> wrote in message [] > This is Stephanie's second child. None of this happened when they
had their > first child so I doubt that it will happen with their second. Nor
did I see > any sign that she is inclined to blame and resent her husand. They handled > one child well enough that they felt able to take on another.
Sometimes > having a child is more stress that a marriage can handle. Sometimes
it > strengthens a marriage. All the vibes I got from Stephanie's posts
lead me > to think that her marriage is in that latter category. Well said. Of course you are able to judge the situation clearly and objectively because you don't have a strong bias in the child/parent relationship. I'm pleased that you thought I expressed this well, but it seems a bit
odd to me to refer to a woman with 7 children as unbiased on this subject.
Have you noticed that you think I am being objective when I agree with you
but unobjective when I disagree? Notice a big difference between you and SD. SD is biased in the following ways: -she thinks people _shouldn't_ have children.

What happens to the human race?
-she thinks children inevitably damage a marriage. -she seems to think children are universally unpleasant.

She has not met my kids. NOW who is biased.
Those are biases that you neither share nor reverse. One _couldn't_ say about you (at least not based on your postings) that you believe people _should_ (or shouldn't) have children, or that children inevitably strengthen (or damage) a marriage, or that children are universally pleasant (or unpleasant). The fact that SD seems to think that all others ought to behave the way she does is a significant bias you don't seem to share.

Stephanie and Tim wrote:
Well said. Of course you are able to judge the situation clearly and objectively because you don't have a strong bias in the child/parent relationship. Unlike SD, who has made it clear that not only she views children as nuisances at best, but also faults women alone for wanting them. As if men have no desire to have any kids and only tolerate them because their wives want them. Not the case at all in our marriage.

I didn't think so...