Paula J
06-18-2006, 01:01 AM
Hello I have a little girl who is 8. Her father and I divorced about 4 years ago and he remarried. I paid child support and communicated with my daughter for those years. Our divorce was set for him to have physical custody which I agreed to because of her medical needs at that time. Over a two year period my daughter underwent very expensive and very careful surgery to correct eye problems. My ex-husband was in the military at the time at we thought it was in her best interest to stay with him since I worked and helped him through school and with his career to give her the security she needed until she had her surgeries and got older. A year after our divorce our agreements drastically changed as he got married again and suddenly tried to sever communication with me and with my child. I went back to court in our state of origin and fought and won for a number of issues. I did however trust my ex-husband wholly with my daughter and the decisions he has made. Then he decided without telling me that he was moving my daughter to the west coast of the United States. He was in California about a week before he finally had to start returning my unanswered phone calls and tell me he moved. I decided to work with him to gain more visitation and we began talking more. In about a month or so after his move he went to his doctor who prescribed him a pain patch (he also was undergoing surgery to correct a double jointed-ness in his shoulders). The pain patch was faulty and released all the medication overnight and was fatal. He was at his in-laws at the time an hour away from his new home in California retrieving items they mailed there before moving.
Upon his death I was not notified in fact when I could not reach him for almost a month trying to not only talk to my daughter but return his phone call he had previously left for me I was met by answering machines. I knew something was wrong. I contacted his family who told me about his death and they were shocked I wasn’t called right away nor was the state our custodial and child support agreements were in. I contacted the state of Arizona where our divorce decree and child custody order was. They advised me to file for modification of the order. Later I learned the order was dismissed because he was deceased. His family after talking to his now widow was told by her that she obtained a lawyer who immediately advised her not to contact me and to file for guardianship of my child in Contra Costa county California. They would not giver her guardianship until someone in this Childs immediate family was notified and I was contacted. They did however issue temporary guardianship causing her to have a right to my child and I could not come bring my child home. Since last year I have flown to California twice and gone to court. Now the court is fishing for fees and costs by hiring an evaluator to determine my Childs fate. My ex in-laws (My ex-husbands parents) have hired an attorney to represent us to get my child back home with her family where she belongs. They are met with the same avenues of this woman having rights to my child. I never gave my parental rights to this woman and I feel my rights have been impeded upon. I care for my daughter and I want her back home with me. My in-laws are shocked that we showed up in that court room with 7 blood relatives of this child including her grandparents, aunts, uncles, great grandmother, and her MOTHER-ME and this woman is there like a renegade kidnapper who seems to be getting rights from the state of California from this judge.
I have now been fighting for almost a year to try to get my child back and my in-laws have spent thousands of dollars in support for me to have my child back. They do not agree with what this woman is doing. I have not been deemed unfit simply divorced. I did not marry this woman who bears no scars for the birth of my child nor does she need to spend the rest of her life with concern for a child that is not hers. I am growing deeply concerned and feel urgency because this woman has since my ex-husbands death already entertained herself with men and has been dating. She has gone in for plastic surgery to attract more and she is spending the life support money my ex-husband left for her and the child at record speed. I have no idea who is around my child and I have no idea who is sleeping under the same roof. I have my parental rights but it seems that the state of California finds that I don’t now have a right to my child’s safety. I have been where my child is and I have been abused, ignored, scared, Molested, neglected…etc. I do not want this for my child and I cannot understand how this could happen to any parent in ANY state in this country. According to the California judge in Contra Costa county probate court, anyone with or without rights has rights to file for someone else’s child unjustified. I am shocked and appalled at all this and the questions I have to answer are horrendous as to why is this happening to me and have to explain where my child is and what is going on!
I have no idea where to go from here. When this evaluator comes to our homes (if he comes to mine, I cannot afford the 7000 dollars) and he or she decides to place my daughter with this woman then what do I need to do as a parent to fight to get my child back? This woman has already stated that I will lose my child to her because she now has money. Sadly California has by actions condoned this in their actions to ask for more money and seems to be swayed to the highest payer. How can California sell my child to someone for no reason? How is this legal? How do I get the word out so this does not happen to any parent? This is legalized kidnapping and I need to do something even beyond my own case there is no justice for me and I need to advocate this to stop it from happening to anyone. My other question is what do I do in the outcome no matter what way it goes? Can I file complaints against this woman, the courts, family services for legally giving my child to someone she doesn’t belong to impeding my parental rights? If there is any information you can give me I would greatly appreciate it as I am fighting and will not stop until not only my own case if rectified but other hard working loving parents rights are not taken away and or danced around like a temporary guardianship/probate excuse. I miss my child a great deal and sadly communication with her is now becoming strange as she is not a stupid kid and knows very well everything that is going on. She has been issued her own lawyer and really hasn’t put a say into all this. I know how she feels though because she has to go home every night to this woman no matter what happens as of right now and she doesn’t deserve this uncomfortablility anymore than I deserve to fight someone I have not married and agreed to any life with such as this woman. I assure you I did not have a wonderful child as my daughter so this woman can live out a mommy/daughter fantasy with her! This is my child and I will fight till the day I die and my last dollar. I am sickened that California would ask me or any parent to.
Upon his death I was not notified in fact when I could not reach him for almost a month trying to not only talk to my daughter but return his phone call he had previously left for me I was met by answering machines. I knew something was wrong. I contacted his family who told me about his death and they were shocked I wasn’t called right away nor was the state our custodial and child support agreements were in. I contacted the state of Arizona where our divorce decree and child custody order was. They advised me to file for modification of the order. Later I learned the order was dismissed because he was deceased. His family after talking to his now widow was told by her that she obtained a lawyer who immediately advised her not to contact me and to file for guardianship of my child in Contra Costa county California. They would not giver her guardianship until someone in this Childs immediate family was notified and I was contacted. They did however issue temporary guardianship causing her to have a right to my child and I could not come bring my child home. Since last year I have flown to California twice and gone to court. Now the court is fishing for fees and costs by hiring an evaluator to determine my Childs fate. My ex in-laws (My ex-husbands parents) have hired an attorney to represent us to get my child back home with her family where she belongs. They are met with the same avenues of this woman having rights to my child. I never gave my parental rights to this woman and I feel my rights have been impeded upon. I care for my daughter and I want her back home with me. My in-laws are shocked that we showed up in that court room with 7 blood relatives of this child including her grandparents, aunts, uncles, great grandmother, and her MOTHER-ME and this woman is there like a renegade kidnapper who seems to be getting rights from the state of California from this judge.
I have now been fighting for almost a year to try to get my child back and my in-laws have spent thousands of dollars in support for me to have my child back. They do not agree with what this woman is doing. I have not been deemed unfit simply divorced. I did not marry this woman who bears no scars for the birth of my child nor does she need to spend the rest of her life with concern for a child that is not hers. I am growing deeply concerned and feel urgency because this woman has since my ex-husbands death already entertained herself with men and has been dating. She has gone in for plastic surgery to attract more and she is spending the life support money my ex-husband left for her and the child at record speed. I have no idea who is around my child and I have no idea who is sleeping under the same roof. I have my parental rights but it seems that the state of California finds that I don’t now have a right to my child’s safety. I have been where my child is and I have been abused, ignored, scared, Molested, neglected…etc. I do not want this for my child and I cannot understand how this could happen to any parent in ANY state in this country. According to the California judge in Contra Costa county probate court, anyone with or without rights has rights to file for someone else’s child unjustified. I am shocked and appalled at all this and the questions I have to answer are horrendous as to why is this happening to me and have to explain where my child is and what is going on!
I have no idea where to go from here. When this evaluator comes to our homes (if he comes to mine, I cannot afford the 7000 dollars) and he or she decides to place my daughter with this woman then what do I need to do as a parent to fight to get my child back? This woman has already stated that I will lose my child to her because she now has money. Sadly California has by actions condoned this in their actions to ask for more money and seems to be swayed to the highest payer. How can California sell my child to someone for no reason? How is this legal? How do I get the word out so this does not happen to any parent? This is legalized kidnapping and I need to do something even beyond my own case there is no justice for me and I need to advocate this to stop it from happening to anyone. My other question is what do I do in the outcome no matter what way it goes? Can I file complaints against this woman, the courts, family services for legally giving my child to someone she doesn’t belong to impeding my parental rights? If there is any information you can give me I would greatly appreciate it as I am fighting and will not stop until not only my own case if rectified but other hard working loving parents rights are not taken away and or danced around like a temporary guardianship/probate excuse. I miss my child a great deal and sadly communication with her is now becoming strange as she is not a stupid kid and knows very well everything that is going on. She has been issued her own lawyer and really hasn’t put a say into all this. I know how she feels though because she has to go home every night to this woman no matter what happens as of right now and she doesn’t deserve this uncomfortablility anymore than I deserve to fight someone I have not married and agreed to any life with such as this woman. I assure you I did not have a wonderful child as my daughter so this woman can live out a mommy/daughter fantasy with her! This is my child and I will fight till the day I die and my last dollar. I am sickened that California would ask me or any parent to.
