Doug Anderson <ethelthelog@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<vkad6i95cb.fsf@noether.uoregon.edu>...
I agree. It just doesn't seem like jen's daughter was actually the one who was uncomfortable. It sounds like jen's _ex_ was the one who was uncomfortable, and he wasn't even there.

My daughter only got home this afternoon, and has been visiting with
her grandparents so I haven't had a private moment to bring this up
yet. However, this morning I was talking to a close friend who
suggested an angle I hadn't even considered. This friend suggested
that my daughter knew full well that my ex would react the way he did,
and thus made her comment over the phone to him on purpose - i.e., she
is playing us off on each other!

I do recognize that kids do this to their parents (even parents who
aren't divorced - I'm sure I did it to my own parents!!). So it is a
possibility. In my opinion, however, most kids don't do this with a
malicious intent; usually it's a bid for attention, or (probably in
our case) a way of trying to feel out the vastly different viewpoints
of their parents. That makes sense to me, in our situation.

Anyone have any advice on how to broach the subject with her? I've
been chewing over that in my mind, and while usually I can figure out
a game plan, I'm finding myself at a loss here. Like I said, she's so
different these days. I know how I'd approach a grade schooler, but
I'm not sure how to approach a preteen. This is totally new to me!

Where is Empress when you need her??? :-)

jen