Tsam Nami
09-26-2003, 03:03 PM
"Nunya" <nunya@urbiz.org> wrote in
http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=XNScb.340970%242x.104378%40rwcrnsc52.o ps.asp.att.net
My relationship with my son is spiraling downhill, out of control, very quickly. I was raised that the father of the house works to support the family, at all costs. It isn't the father's job to nurture, his job is to be stern. This has become ingrained in me and it is tearing us apart and I don't know how to stop it. I have tried to change my thought process but this has become too ingrained in me and I need outside help to change this before it is too late. My son is 12 years old and he has gone so far as to say he hates me and wishes I wasn't around anymore, that I were only a ghost. I have looked and searched for how to get help and can't find anything. My wife either can't help or won't help. I know I have to change the way I "father" but have no idea where to go. I live in Oregon, about 35 SW of the Portland area. If anyone can help point me in a direction of where to go please help me.
I agree with the consensus advice from ASM, to find a therapist near where
you live to get help with this. But if you recognize yourself in this book,
it also may be of some help:
I Don't Want to Talk About It:
Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
by Terrence Real
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684835398/002-5839455-1768064
http://www.relationalrecoveryinstitute.com/3ter.html
--
Tsam
http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=XNScb.340970%242x.104378%40rwcrnsc52.o ps.asp.att.net
My relationship with my son is spiraling downhill, out of control, very quickly. I was raised that the father of the house works to support the family, at all costs. It isn't the father's job to nurture, his job is to be stern. This has become ingrained in me and it is tearing us apart and I don't know how to stop it. I have tried to change my thought process but this has become too ingrained in me and I need outside help to change this before it is too late. My son is 12 years old and he has gone so far as to say he hates me and wishes I wasn't around anymore, that I were only a ghost. I have looked and searched for how to get help and can't find anything. My wife either can't help or won't help. I know I have to change the way I "father" but have no idea where to go. I live in Oregon, about 35 SW of the Portland area. If anyone can help point me in a direction of where to go please help me.
I agree with the consensus advice from ASM, to find a therapist near where
you live to get help with this. But if you recognize yourself in this book,
it also may be of some help:
I Don't Want to Talk About It:
Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
by Terrence Real
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684835398/002-5839455-1768064
http://www.relationalrecoveryinstitute.com/3ter.html
--
Tsam
