o.k., he's made two payments ($120.00 and $100.00) against his 8,000 debt. He is still refusing to supply his employer information to DCSS, and now I hear that his "job" was short term anyhow. But that's not really the point of this post, just background I guess.

He's been acting strangely "father-like" to the girls lately. Most recently, he set up a deal with the younges that they will call each other every night at 9:30, so say goodnight. He's been calling the older daughter (though she really doesn't want to talk to him - partly because she's mad at him, and partly just typical teenager stuff) almost daily, telling her how much he misses spending time with her, etc.

This past week-end instead of doing only things that his live in girlfriend wanted to do, they took my youngest to the zoo, went for bike rides, and to the beach.

I would like to think that perhaps he's had an attack of consious, but I've believed that 100 times before only to find out he's got ulterior motives. Somewhere, in the pit of my stomach, I get the feeling that he's being coached by an attorney.

Does anyone have experience with what attorneys will typically coach an NCP to do when they're facing jail and / or contempt of court charges?

Thanks

o.k., he's made two payments ($120.00 and $100.00) against his 8,000 debt. He is still refusing to supply his employer information to DCSS, and now I hear that his "job" was short term anyhow. But that's not really the point of this post, just background I guess.

He's been acting strangely "father-like" to the girls lately. Most recently, he set up a deal with the younges that they will call each other every night at 9:30, so say goodnight. He's been calling the older daughter (though she really doesn't want to talk to him - partly because she's mad at him, and partly just typical teenager stuff) almost daily, telling her how much he misses spending time with her, etc.

This past week-end instead of doing only things that his live in girlfriend wanted to do, they took my youngest to the zoo, went for bike rides, and to the beach.

I would like to think that perhaps he's had an attack of consious, but I've believed that 100 times before only to find out he's got ulterior motives. Somewhere, in the pit of my stomach, I get the feeling that he's being coached by an attorney.

Does anyone have experience with what attorneys will typically coach an NCP to do when they're facing jail and / or contempt of court charges?

Thanks
Do u have full custody? Is there a chance he might try to get custody?

I have full custody, and he has visitation. He has made threats before about trying to get 50/50 custody so that he doesn't have to pay child support. He has actually come out and admitted that! His reasoning is that if he is going to spend the money, he should be able to direct how it gets spent. He's not the brightest crayon in the box - what can I say, I was young and dumb and "in love". Argh.

The girls are 12 and 14 and have NO desire to live with him, not to mention he would have to move to our town so as not to interrupt their school. I'm not too worried about him being able to get custody. Mostly, I think he's trying to make "mommy look like an evil witch", and trying to paint a prettier picture for the judge. I guess I just need to keep track of what he does, so if it ever comes up for question, I'll have timelines.

I have full custody, and he has visitation. He has made threats before about trying to get 50/50 custody so that he doesn't have to pay child support. He has actually come out and admitted that! His reasoning is that if he is going to spend the money, he should be able to direct how it gets spent. He's not the brightest crayon in the box - what can I say, I was young and dumb and "in love". Argh.

The girls are 12 and 14 and have NO desire to live with him, not to mention he would have to move to our town so as not to interrupt their school. I'm not too worried about him being able to get custody. Mostly, I think he's trying to make "mommy look like an evil witch", and trying to paint a prettier picture for the judge. I guess I just need to keep track of what he does, so if it ever comes up for question, I'll have timelines.
The girls are old enough to stand before the judge and tell him/her that they don't want to live with him and if that's the case then he can't get custody over them. Now as for the pretty picture painting of you being a "witch" then they are old enough to also see through those pretty colors. If he hasn't been there for them then they can see it easy enough. My father was never there for my brother and me and when he did want to be there we blew him off. My father has only seen my son 1 time and that's it and there will be no more. Good luck to you and I wouldn't worry.

If he is trying to spend time his children then that is great if it is for alterior motives then he is a piece of crap, however the kids still deserve to spend time with him. If you have custody and he has been around until recently I would think it is going to be hard for him to make you look like a witch unless it is true. I do not feel a child should ever be put in a situation to choose one parent over another what a horrible spot for them to be in. I hope you are wrong about his motives and that he just finaly saw the light and realised he was not being a good father.

If he is trying to spend time his children then that is great if it is for alterior motives then he is a piece of crap, however the kids still deserve to spend time with him. If you have custody and he has been around until recently I would think it is going to be hard for him to make you look like a witch unless it is true. I do not feel a child should ever be put in a situation to choose one parent over another what a horrible spot for them to be in. I hope you are wrong about his motives and that he just finaly saw the light and realised he was not being a good father.
AGREE! If he really is wanting to be there thats cool but it should be up to the kids.

Thanks you guys! I agree, as much as I personally don't have any respect for him, he is and always will be their dad. The girls DESERVE 100% to know that their dad loves them. For that reason, I've always encouraged them to spend as much time as possible together, and spend time on the phone, etc.

In fact, I wrote a clause into our marital settlement agreement that said neither of us was to move more than thirty miles outside of the city limits, without the other's written permission. That way the kids don't have to deal with a long distance issue. I always told him, this isn't the amount of time you're limited to, just what you're obligated to. Any time, ANYTIME, you want to spend additional time with them, just let me know. He never took me up on the offer. He stuck to his 4 days a month, six weeks of summer, and alternating holidays. Frequently he would bring them home early.

I've just learned the hard way, over the years, to be a bit suspicious when he does anything nice. Sadly, he usually does have a less than nice agenda. Up until this last girlfriend though, at least he was a fairly decent dad, if a less than stellar husband. Ever since he met this current girlfriend, his relationship with his kids took a way back seat. One of the reasons the oldest doesn't want to spend much time with him anymore.

Thanks for the responses and support.

I am having a real hard time believing he could make you look a witch in any court after reading your last post... If every parent had your same ideals there would be alot more happy and stabile children out there!

I would also try to convince your daughter to give him another chance, and let him know that you did as well. If he is doing the right thing now, it will be better for her. If you let him know you had to nudge her into giving another shot, he will be less likely to turn into CrapDad again.

I want to trade X's with this guy!