*Santa Clara county to be exact*

Here's a little background...I have been divorced from my sons dad since February 2004. He has not seen/talked to his son since December 2004. No child support orders (its reserved), I have full legal and physical custody while my ex has supervised visitation (domestic violence I have police reports and drug use). Obviously he hasn't followed through with the court ordered visitation...He is currently serving time in jail for a felony (robbery). He will be in for 6-8 months on 2 different charges. He has 4 children, one of which is going to be born within days. My son and his second child, he never sees. The third, he has court ordered every weekend (how I have no clue) but he never followed those orders before he went to jail.

My question is, how do I go about terminating his rights and having my fiance adopt my son. What forms do I need?? My attorney is lagging and I just want to start the process. Any info would be greatly appreciated.

First off, your fiance can't adopt the child until after you have been married for a while (usually around 1 year). The worst thing you could do right now would be trying to handle this on your own. There are too many mistakes that could be made. Will dad agree to the adoption or will he contests it?

I know he can't yet...I have a lawyer but she is lagging. My fiance and I have a domestic partnership on file with the City where we live, my lawyer said that would most likely take care of the 1 year issue, but we will still have to be married in order for him to adopt my son.

No, my ex probably won't sign over his rights voluntarily. However, I personally think the cards are against him. He basically gave up on his kid. Once a new girlfriend comes into the picture he ignores his kids. He has 3 others besides my son, all from different moms. One of his kids he hasn't seen for even longer than my son.

I mean he is in jail, he had (and probably still has) a horrible drug problem. I just don't see him changing any time soon. I wish he would give up rights on his own and make my life that much easier. It would be much better for my son in the long run. He doesn't even know who he is even when looking at pictures of his dad. He considers my fiance his daddy, we have been together since my son was 1.

I know he can't yet...I have a lawyer but she is lagging. My fiance and I have a domestic partnership on file with the City where we live, my lawyer said that would most likely take care of the 1 year issue, but we will still have to be married in order for him to adopt my son.

No, my ex probably won't sign over his rights voluntarily. However, I personally think the cards are against him. He basically gave up on his kid. Once a new girlfriend comes into the picture he ignores his kids. He has 3 others besides my son, all from different moms. One of his kids he hasn't seen for even longer than my son.

I mean he is in jail, he had (and probably still has) a horrible drug problem. I just don't see him changing any time soon. I wish he would give up rights on his own and make my life that much easier. It would be much better for my son in the long run. He doesn't even know who he is even when looking at pictures of his dad. He considers my fiance his daddy, we have been together since my son was 1.

If dad contests, it will be hard to try and use the fact that he hasn't seen the child against him if he has been in jail. Since he was not convicted of a crime against the child, the judge may very well give him another chance to be a father when he gets out IF he can convince the judge that he has been rehabilitated.

You should look into have child support ordered again. If he really doesn't want to be a father to this child, the fact that he can avoid paying support if he agrees to the adoption may be all the motivation he needs to avoid a long drawn out court battle.

He has only been in jail since May 1, 2006. He has had all that time to see/call our son and he hasn't bothered. I just found out that he is in jail for multiple theft charges and other charges, bail is $75k and he'll be in for close to a year.

I already know what will happen. He'll follow the orders for a few weeks, then he'll disappear again just like before. We have orders now that he followed for MAYBE a month.

I just don't think its fair that someone like him can have rights to a child that doesn't even know him because he chooses not to be around.

Thanks for your help :)

He has only been in jail since May 1, 2006. He has had all that time to see/call our son and he hasn't bothered. I just found out that he is in jail for multiple theft charges and other charges, bail is $75k and he'll be in for close to a year.

I already know what will happen. He'll follow the orders for a few weeks, then he'll disappear again just like before. We have orders now that he followed for MAYBE a month.

I just don't think its fair that someone like him can have rights to a child that doesn't even know him because he chooses not to be around.

Thanks for your help :)

It's not right, but that's the way it works. Since he is not looking at years and years in jail, the court will give him every opportunity to be a father before terminating his rights. It may take a while, but if you are sure that he isn't going to follow though, just be patient and keep going back to court. The judge WILL eventually get fed up with his antics, hopefully sooner rather then later.