>Subject: Re: looking for a birthmother considering placing her child for openadoptionFrom: "carl jones" carljones@usadatanet.netDate: 1/6/2005 7:46 PM Eastern Standard TimeMessage-id: <w_-dnbPw0_RqRkDcRVn-3w@usadatanet.net>Hi Robin,Thanks for your post - though I don't fully understand it. Well no that's not quite exactly what they want, is it Carl? What they want in their circumstances unfortunate though they may be and as sympathetic as I am to those circumstances, is SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY.Forgive my ignorance, but isn't that what adoption is all about?

No, Karl, adoption is far more than adopting someone else's baby.
Some of us might be a little more concerned than you seem to be about the ethics of how they are going about achieving that transfer of parental responsibilities. They are turning the whole thing in to a rather sick and uncontrolled marketing exercise based primarily on their gar gar needs, rather than the needs of the as yet unborn child and its as yet still expectant mother, throughout each of the rest of their individual lives.I don't see what's wrong with stating their need for a child to any venuethat seems appropriate to find a birth mother. They didn't study this NGfirst or they probably wouldn't have posted here. But consider that theyseem to be desparately seeking.

Seeking is OK, it's the level of "desperation" that tends to blur one's
ethics.
What choice is there but to examine allalternatives?

Like an older child from foster care, perhaps?

Dad

"AdoptaDad" <adoptadad@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20050107075543.06417.00002008@mb-m22.aol.com... >> Well no that's not quite exactly what they want, is it Carl? What
they want in their circumstances unfortunate though they may be and as sympathetic as I am to those circumstances, is SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY.Forgive my ignorance, but isn't that what adoption is all about? No, Karl, adoption is far more than adopting someone else's baby.

But adoption begins with adopting someone else's child, No?
I don't see what's wrong with stating their need for a child to any venuethat seems appropriate to find a birth mother. They didn't study this NGfirst or they probably wouldn't have posted here. But consider that theyseem to be desparately seeking. Seeking is OK, it's the level of "desperation" that tends to blur one's ethics.

If you have sought the same thing for years and years and were fruitless in
your search, then the level of desparation gets greater.What choice is there but to examine allalternatives? Like an older child from foster care, perhaps?

This is a good point. There are older children from foster care desparately
in need of adoption. However, some parents find it hard to "bond" with an
older child. The parent-infant attachment process works best for some with
an infant Hence the need to seek a birth mother.


Carl

carljones@usadatanet.net