LilMtnCbn
12-12-2004, 06:14 AM
Well. Yuck.
http://www.lenconnect.com/articles/2004/12/12/news/news02.txt
Infant adoption is a risky venture for adults who want a baby
Julia and Craig Verity of Morenci look at the crib they hope to fill soon with
an adopted baby. -- Telegram photo by Lad Strayer
By Ingrid Langsather -- Daily Telegram Staff Writer
MORENCI -- Her name is Tabitha. She was born Sept. 12, 2004.
Julia and Craig Verity were going to be her parents.
The Morenci couple had followed the baby girl's life since March but were
separated from what would have been their long-awaited daughter the day
following her birth.
The Veritys met Tabitha's mother at the beginning of the year, and she had
chosen the couple to become the adoptive parents of her baby. Julia said a
co-worker who had taken the woman's other children into foster care introduced
them. The state had prevented the mother from keeping the baby so she set out
to find a family to raise her baby girl.
The Veritys said they never knew the reason why the mother could not keep her
children other than she had struggled with drugs at one time.
The day after Tabitha's birth, however, the man believed to be her biological
father chose to engage his parental rights and keep the girl as his daughter.
Until this point, he had denied any relationship to the child and even
encouraged the adoption, Julia said.
The Veritys were heartbroken.
Since the couple had not gone through a licensed adoption agency, there was no
recourse for them to take, they said.
"It is risky," Julia said. "The girl can change her mind at any time until she
signs the adoption papers."
Julia, 35, and Craig, 38, were married two years ago, and they want a child
together. After having lost touch for years, the high school sweethearts become
reacquainted through an Internet chat room, they said. Craig has two children,
18 and 16, from a previous marriage, and Julia has a son, 16, who lives with
the couple. For years, Julia has attempted to have another child but each
pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. In February, she experienced her seventh
miscarriage, she said.
"I've always wanted another baby," Julia said with glistening eyes.
Like many expectant mothers, Julia had kept a journal for the baby -- from the
first day she met the birth mother, through her development via ultrasound
images and up to photographs taken the day Tabitha was born. The couple even
chose the baby's name.
The lovingly prepared nursery in the Veritys' home is brightly painted in blue
and green. A crib full of stuffed animals and blankets sits in a corner next to
a diaper-changing table. Tiny clothes with tags still attached burst out of the
closet.
The only missing element is a baby.
"We spent thousands on preparations for the baby," Julia said. "Everything was
ready to go."
A black binder crowded with information regarding adoption agencies throughout
the county, state, and country tells of the couple's eager search for a baby.
Julia said she spends hours on the computer checking adoption Web sites every
day.
The race of the child is not even a question for the couple, they said.
"We don't care if the baby is black, purple or white," Craig Verity said.
Many agencies offer African-American infants or young children for a fraction
of the cost of a white baby, Julia said. She said it frustrates her to see the
"price difference."
"Does this mean they're less valuable?" she said.
For four months the couple have searched for a child, and they have become
increasingly discouraged by high prices and long waiting lists. Agencies that
deal with infant adoptions can charge thousands of dollars, creating a barrier
between the Veritys and a child.
"We keep looking and hoping," Julia said.
Adoption Associates in Jenison, Mich., has provided some of the better
opportunities for the couple, they said. The normal wait for a baby is between
four to 12 months, Julia said. They have also applied to agencies in New York,
California and Florida. Adoption costs normally range from $5,000 to $20,000,
they said. Julia said international adoptions cost even more, which has
prevented them from looking overseas.
An adoption tax credit can be claimed on federal taxes, but the Veritys said
this does not help with initially coming up with the money.
"It's ridiculous," Craig said. "Everyone wants so much money."
Grants are available to help offset adoption costs and the couple have applied
for several, Julia said.
Another barrier is the couple's three children, even though they are from
previous marriages. Many birth mothers are more apt to chose a family without
any children, Julia said.
While special needs and foster care children are more readily available for
adoption, the couple said they have chosen to adopt a healthy infant. A
registered nurse at Foote Hospital in Jackson, Julia said she loves her job and
does not want to give it up to stay home permanently with a special needs
child. An adopted baby would never be placed in day care, however, she said.
Between her and Craig's schedules, Julia said one of them could always be home
with the child.
"We don't do day care," she said.
A privately arranged or designated adoption, one in which the birth mother
directly chooses the adopting family, is usually the least costly, quickest
form of adoption, Julia said. In addition to applying to various adoption
agencies, the couple have "marketed" themselves directly to birth mothers
through ads in The Daily Telegram and online chat rooms for pregnant teens,
Julia said. They said they even have an 800 number to encourage callers.
"Our best bet would be to find our own birth mom," Julia said.
Most adoption agencies require a profile of the prospective family for a
pregnant woman to examine while choosing a family for her baby.
"It's a competitive market," Craig said. "We are learning how to stand out."
The Veritys compiled a digital scrapbook of photos from family trips and
traditions along with a letter that reflects their past and their desire to add
a new addition to the family. The Verity family loves camping, skiing and time
spent together. Craig laughs when he says he can outlast his kids when on
family excursions.
"We're fun and have lots of energy," Julia said.
Each home seeking to adopt must complete a thorough home study before they can
be considered by an adoption agency. Licensed agencies, private and public,
such as the Family Independence Agency and Family Counseling and Children's
Services of Adrian can perform the home study. Background checks including
personal and criminal history are performed, and health statements, income
statements and personal references are examined during the process.
"They look at who you are and where you're from," Julia said.
The home study cost the couple more than $1,500, they said.
Despite setbacks and frustrations that come with waiting, the couple's
eagerness to adopt is clear.
"I love my first son and have spoiled him to death," Julia said. "I can't wait
to do it again with another child."
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
http://www.lenconnect.com/articles/2004/12/12/news/news02.txt
Infant adoption is a risky venture for adults who want a baby
Julia and Craig Verity of Morenci look at the crib they hope to fill soon with
an adopted baby. -- Telegram photo by Lad Strayer
By Ingrid Langsather -- Daily Telegram Staff Writer
MORENCI -- Her name is Tabitha. She was born Sept. 12, 2004.
Julia and Craig Verity were going to be her parents.
The Morenci couple had followed the baby girl's life since March but were
separated from what would have been their long-awaited daughter the day
following her birth.
The Veritys met Tabitha's mother at the beginning of the year, and she had
chosen the couple to become the adoptive parents of her baby. Julia said a
co-worker who had taken the woman's other children into foster care introduced
them. The state had prevented the mother from keeping the baby so she set out
to find a family to raise her baby girl.
The Veritys said they never knew the reason why the mother could not keep her
children other than she had struggled with drugs at one time.
The day after Tabitha's birth, however, the man believed to be her biological
father chose to engage his parental rights and keep the girl as his daughter.
Until this point, he had denied any relationship to the child and even
encouraged the adoption, Julia said.
The Veritys were heartbroken.
Since the couple had not gone through a licensed adoption agency, there was no
recourse for them to take, they said.
"It is risky," Julia said. "The girl can change her mind at any time until she
signs the adoption papers."
Julia, 35, and Craig, 38, were married two years ago, and they want a child
together. After having lost touch for years, the high school sweethearts become
reacquainted through an Internet chat room, they said. Craig has two children,
18 and 16, from a previous marriage, and Julia has a son, 16, who lives with
the couple. For years, Julia has attempted to have another child but each
pregnancy ends in a miscarriage. In February, she experienced her seventh
miscarriage, she said.
"I've always wanted another baby," Julia said with glistening eyes.
Like many expectant mothers, Julia had kept a journal for the baby -- from the
first day she met the birth mother, through her development via ultrasound
images and up to photographs taken the day Tabitha was born. The couple even
chose the baby's name.
The lovingly prepared nursery in the Veritys' home is brightly painted in blue
and green. A crib full of stuffed animals and blankets sits in a corner next to
a diaper-changing table. Tiny clothes with tags still attached burst out of the
closet.
The only missing element is a baby.
"We spent thousands on preparations for the baby," Julia said. "Everything was
ready to go."
A black binder crowded with information regarding adoption agencies throughout
the county, state, and country tells of the couple's eager search for a baby.
Julia said she spends hours on the computer checking adoption Web sites every
day.
The race of the child is not even a question for the couple, they said.
"We don't care if the baby is black, purple or white," Craig Verity said.
Many agencies offer African-American infants or young children for a fraction
of the cost of a white baby, Julia said. She said it frustrates her to see the
"price difference."
"Does this mean they're less valuable?" she said.
For four months the couple have searched for a child, and they have become
increasingly discouraged by high prices and long waiting lists. Agencies that
deal with infant adoptions can charge thousands of dollars, creating a barrier
between the Veritys and a child.
"We keep looking and hoping," Julia said.
Adoption Associates in Jenison, Mich., has provided some of the better
opportunities for the couple, they said. The normal wait for a baby is between
four to 12 months, Julia said. They have also applied to agencies in New York,
California and Florida. Adoption costs normally range from $5,000 to $20,000,
they said. Julia said international adoptions cost even more, which has
prevented them from looking overseas.
An adoption tax credit can be claimed on federal taxes, but the Veritys said
this does not help with initially coming up with the money.
"It's ridiculous," Craig said. "Everyone wants so much money."
Grants are available to help offset adoption costs and the couple have applied
for several, Julia said.
Another barrier is the couple's three children, even though they are from
previous marriages. Many birth mothers are more apt to chose a family without
any children, Julia said.
While special needs and foster care children are more readily available for
adoption, the couple said they have chosen to adopt a healthy infant. A
registered nurse at Foote Hospital in Jackson, Julia said she loves her job and
does not want to give it up to stay home permanently with a special needs
child. An adopted baby would never be placed in day care, however, she said.
Between her and Craig's schedules, Julia said one of them could always be home
with the child.
"We don't do day care," she said.
A privately arranged or designated adoption, one in which the birth mother
directly chooses the adopting family, is usually the least costly, quickest
form of adoption, Julia said. In addition to applying to various adoption
agencies, the couple have "marketed" themselves directly to birth mothers
through ads in The Daily Telegram and online chat rooms for pregnant teens,
Julia said. They said they even have an 800 number to encourage callers.
"Our best bet would be to find our own birth mom," Julia said.
Most adoption agencies require a profile of the prospective family for a
pregnant woman to examine while choosing a family for her baby.
"It's a competitive market," Craig said. "We are learning how to stand out."
The Veritys compiled a digital scrapbook of photos from family trips and
traditions along with a letter that reflects their past and their desire to add
a new addition to the family. The Verity family loves camping, skiing and time
spent together. Craig laughs when he says he can outlast his kids when on
family excursions.
"We're fun and have lots of energy," Julia said.
Each home seeking to adopt must complete a thorough home study before they can
be considered by an adoption agency. Licensed agencies, private and public,
such as the Family Independence Agency and Family Counseling and Children's
Services of Adrian can perform the home study. Background checks including
personal and criminal history are performed, and health statements, income
statements and personal references are examined during the process.
"They look at who you are and where you're from," Julia said.
The home study cost the couple more than $1,500, they said.
Despite setbacks and frustrations that come with waiting, the couple's
eagerness to adopt is clear.
"I love my first son and have spoiled him to death," Julia said. "I can't wait
to do it again with another child."
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
