>Subject: Re: Marilyn Churley's Adoption BillFrom: "BaD *** Me" badassme@bellsouth.comDate: 11/26/2004
My childs history has nothing to do with me....Her real history is what she is building right nowwith her family.

You are wrong, what she is building right now is only a part of her history.
It's like picking you up from where you are and dropping you somewhere else and
saying, "here go live your life and build a new history". Kathy J

tmnkat@aol.com (Tm n Kat) wrote in message news:<20041127222920.06270.00000659@mb-m23.aol.com>...Subject: Re: Marilyn Churley's Adoption BillFrom: "BaD *** Me" badassme@bellsouth.comDate: 11/26/2004My childs history has nothing to do with me....Her real history is what she is building right nowwith her family. You are wrong, what she is building right now is only a part of her history. It's like picking you up from where you are and dropping you somewhere else and saying, "here go live your life and build a new history". Kathy J

I'd submit there is a difference between a new-born and an adult in
her 30s in this respect.

Of course her time with her b-mother is part of her history; and her
genes are part of her biology. But while her biology will be pretty
much fixed, her history will continue to grow through her life. And if
her history with her b-mom was only a couple of days, then surely the
greater part of her history will be built elsewhere, assuming a normal
life-span.

Rupa

Rupa Bose wrote:
tmnkat@aol.com (Tm n Kat) wrote in message news:<20041127222920.06270.00000659@mb-m23.aol.com>...Subject: Re: Marilyn Churley's Adoption BillFrom: "BaD *** Me" badassme@bellsouth.comDate: 11/26/2004My childs history has nothing to do with me....Her real history is what she is building right nowwith her family.You are wrong, what she is building right now is only a part of her history.It's like picking you up from where you are and dropping you somewhere else andsaying, "here go live your life and build a new history". Kathy JI'd submit there is a difference between a new-born and an adult inher 30s in this respect.Of course her time with her b-mother is part of her history; and hergenes are part of her biology. But while her biology will be prettymuch fixed, her history will continue to grow through her life. And ifher history with her b-mom was only a couple of days, then surely thegreater part of her history will be built elsewhere, assuming a normallife-span.Rupa


Perhaps it is just because I have found my family of origin (or the
maternal half anyway) and there is rather a lot them. But I do feel that
some people here seem to vastly underestimate the importance of genes
and the need to be in contact with others who share a substantial
proportion of our genetic makeup. Something which is taken for granted
by those who are not adopted.


Robin

"Rupa Bose" <rkbose@pacific.net.sg> wrote in message
news:e5619372.0411302157.1fe04bc9@posting.google.c om... tmnkat@aol.com (Tm n Kat) wrote in message news:<20041127222920.06270.00000659@mb-m23.aol.com>...Subject: Re: Marilyn Churley's Adoption BillFrom: "BaD *** Me" badassme@bellsouth.comDate: 11/26/2004My childs history has nothing to do with me....Her real history is what she is building right nowwith her family. You are wrong, what she is building right now is only a part of her history. It's like picking you up from where you are and dropping you somewhere else and saying, "here go live your life and build a new history". Kathy J I'd submit there is a difference between a new-born and an adult in her 30s in this respect. Of course her time with her b-mother is part of her history; and her genes are part of her biology. But while her biology will be pretty much fixed, her history will continue to grow through her life. And if her history with her b-mom was only a couple of days, then surely the greater part of her history will be built elsewhere, assuming a normal life-span.

In this case, I see "history" to mean, bio family, genetic history,
heritage, etc.
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557

"Rupa Bose" <rkbose@pacific.net.sg> wrote in message
news:e5619372.0411302157.1fe04bc9@posting.google.c om...
| tmnkat@aol.com (Tm n Kat) wrote in message
news:<20041127222920.06270.00000659@mb-m23.aol.com>...
| > >Subject: Re: Marilyn Churley's Adoption Bill
| > >From: "BaD *** Me" badassme@bellsouth.com
| > >Date: 11/26/2004
| >
| > >My childs history has nothing to do with me....
| > >Her real history is what she is building right now
| > >with her family.
| >
| > You are wrong, what she is building right now is only a part of her
history.
| > It's like picking you up from where you are and dropping you somewhere
else and
| > saying, "here go live your life and build a new history". Kathy J
|
| I'd submit there is a difference between a new-born and an adult in
| her 30s in this respect.
|
| Of course her time with her b-mother is part of her history; and her
| genes are part of her biology. But while her biology will be pretty
| much fixed, her history will continue to grow through her life. And if
| her history with her b-mom was only a couple of days, then surely the
| greater part of her history will be built elsewhere, assuming a normal
| life-span.
|
| Rupa

Thank you, you explained that much better than I was able to.
--
BaD *** Me

Robin Harritt <ninguém@não.hoje.agradecimentos> wrote Perhaps it is just because I have found my family of origin (or the maternal half anyway) and there is rather a lot them. But I do feel that some people here seem to vastly underestimate the importance of genes and the need to be in contact with others who share a substantial proportion of our genetic makeup. Something which is taken for granted by those who are not adopted.

I guess that might well be true. It may also be an individual
matter...I've personally found that connections by personality and
shared memories trump mere genetic connections.

But of course it's a question of how close the genetic connections are
that we're talking about...once you go beyond parents and full sibs,
the connections start to attenuate quite rapidly. The amount of genes
shared on average fall: Uncles/aunts/half-sibs/nieces/nephews - 1/4;
first cousins - 1/8; and then less and less.

I found age, similarity of background, geographic opportunity, and
openness to be better predictors of how close I became to someone.

Rupa

>Perhaps it is just because I have found my family of origin (or thematernal half anyway) and there is rather a lot them. But I do feel thatsome people here seem to vastly underestimate the importance of genesand the need to be in contact with others who share a substantialproportion of our genetic makeup. Something which is taken for grantedby those who are not adopted.Robin

I'm a bit blear-eyed this evening, so pardon me if I've already mentioned this.

I was contacted recently by a distant cousin on my mother's side. Our link is
my great-grandfather and great-grnadmother. She sent me a picture of my ggd and
ggm, which I in turn sent on to my mother. She called me last night to thank
me, with tears in her voice, for the picture of the grandmother who died 20
years before her birth and whom she had only known as a name.

Many denizens of alt.a. came immediately to mind.

J.





Reply to jmhjmd at aol.

"J." <jmdjmh@aol.compostible> wrote in message
news:20041202203241.06291.00000886@mb-m26.aol.com...Perhaps it is just because I have found my family of origin (or thematernal half anyway) and there is rather a lot them. But I do feel thatsome people here seem to vastly underestimate the importance of genesand the need to be in contact with others who share a substantialproportion of our genetic makeup. Something which is taken for grantedby those who are not adopted.Robin I'm a bit blear-eyed this evening, so pardon me if I've already mentioned this. I was contacted recently by a distant cousin on my mother's side. Our link is my great-grandfather and great-grnadmother. She sent me a picture of my ggd and ggm, which I in turn sent on to my mother. She called me last night to thank me, with tears in her voice, for the picture of the grandmother who died 20 years before her birth and whom she had only known as a name. Many denizens of alt.a. came immediately to mind.

Wow, thanks for sharing - Extremely special :)
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557

jmdjmh@aol.compostible (J.) wrote I was contacted recently by a distant cousin on my mother's side. Our link is my great-grandfather and great-grnadmother. She sent me a picture of my ggd and ggm, which I in turn sent on to my mother. She called me last night to thank me, with tears in her voice, for the picture of the grandmother who died 20 years before her birth and whom she had only known as a name. Many denizens of alt.a. came immediately to mind. J.

That's marvellous!

I quite understand her feelings. I was quite delighted to get a
photograph of my great grandfather. Though the picture is rather
motheaten, it is neat to have some kind of an image of someone who was
just a family legend.

Rupa

J. wrote:
Perhaps it is just because I have found my family of origin (or thematernal half anyway) and there is rather a lot them. But I do feel thatsome people here seem to vastly underestimate the importance of genesand the need to be in contact with others who share a substantialproportion of our genetic makeup. Something which is taken for grantedby those who are not adopted.RobinI'm a bit blear-eyed this evening, so pardon me if I've already mentioned this.I was contacted recently by a distant cousin on my mother's side. Our link ismy great-grandfather and great-grnadmother. She sent me a picture of my ggd andggm, which I in turn sent on to my mother. She called me last night to thankme, with tears in her voice, for the picture of the grandmother who died 20years before her birth and whom she had only known as a name.Many denizens of alt.a. came immediately to mind.J.


Thanks J. Just as I was reading this I was listening to an item on
family history research on breakfast TV, people were being given a
warning that what they uncover could be very emotional for them. I
suppose that's true, I have certainly witnessed anger and frustration on
the genealogy newsgroups, every bit as much as I have here.


Robin