Ok this was still in my outbox this morning and it won't post under the
other heading for some reason so I am reposting it here.


BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
news:5jWpd.65736$IQ.39829@bignews6.bellsouth.net.. . "kat" <katlat24seeifthishelps@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:30qocpF33pnntU1@uni-berlin.de... | | "BaD *** Me" <



| > | > | > | | > | > | > What does it matter if a woman decides not to disclose to you
or | the | > | > | general | > | > | > public that she had a child and released it for adoption? | > | > | | > | > | | > | > | | > | > | Ok for the last time - *I"m not talking about the GENERAL
PUBLIC* I | > am | > | > | talking about the adoptee's siblings, grandparents, aunts, etc. IOW | > | > *family | > | > | members*. | > | > | | > | > | | > | > If I dont want my parents, aunts, cousins to know then they wont. | > | | > | | > | They will when the adoptee resurfaces. I don't know how many ways
(or | how | > | many times) I can say it before it sinks in! | > | | > | | > Yea so. That doesnt mean I have to disclose it one second before then if | > Idont wnt to. | | | Okay. Exactly *who* has suggested that you should?


| | > Do you see above?? ""Ok for the last time - *I"m not talking about the GENERAL PUBLIC* I am talking about the adoptee's siblings, grandparents, aunts, etc. IOW *family members*.""" Said in response to my statement ""What does it matter if a woman decides not to disclose to you or the general public that she had a child and released it for adoption?"" That suggests a desire to have the bparent disclose to others her decision regardless of her desire to keep it to herself.

Ok it's getting late and things are getting repetitious and I'm not paying
as close attention. Nobody say you *have* (I used should instead of have)
to disclose your pregnancy to anybody at any time. If a bparent desires to
keep it to herself she is perfectly within her right. It might make it
harder for the adoptee when he/she resurfaces but the bmother certainly has
the option. As I stated in another post I think siblings and grandparents
at the very least should be told.

She may make a choice that isnt in the best interest of that adoptee


Secrecy is never in the best interest of the adoptee imo.

but that person is now an adult and is probably prepared for nearly any
kind of reception at that point in the search.

It is hard to be fully prepared for reunion. It's one of those things where
you do the best you can to prepare but you never really know what it is
about until you do it.

I It may also not be the best way to handle with the family but in the end that woman did what she felt she had to for whatever reasons. | Shes not even obligated to do it for the | > benefit of the child if she doesnt want to. | | | Of course not, she doesn't owe that child anything once she signs that | adoption decree, not legally or morally - according to you. | That is true. I would hope and believe that many or maybe even most birth mothers want to do whatever they can to make a reunion possible and comfortable. That doesnt mean they all will or are obligated to. | | > | > There | > | > | > are people today that still dont know what happened to my
baby. | It | > is | > | > | none | > | > | > of their business either and it never will be. | > | > | | > | > | | > | > | You really do seem to have some issues with this subject. To
the | > point | > | > | where it prevents you from seeing what others are *really*
talking | > | about. | > | > | | > | > | > | > You are talking about forcing a woman or at least expecting her to | > notify | > | > others of her decision to adopt. | > | | > | | > | You are completely delusional. Apparently you don't read what is | written | > | and just respond to some imaginary conversation that you are having | (with | > | yourself apparently or maybe some in your life) in your head. | > | | > So you agree she is not obligated to notify others of her decision? | | Of course she isn't 'obligated' to. No one is 'forcing' her to (your | favorite subject). Should she tell the adoptee's siblings, grandparents,and | certain close extended family (I certainly don't think every single
family | member needs to be notified)to ease the way for her child? I think so. You | don't. Oh well. | Sure I agree. She should. I am just saying she has the right not to.

So why all the argument? That's obvious. Just like she has the right to
smoke or not smoke, have that extra piece of pie, marry whoever she wishes,
etc., etc., We aren't talking about if she has the 'right' to. Your
arguments tend to be geared to seeking validation that this is an
appropriate, sensible, thing to do and should be accepted as such. I still
think siblings and grandparents should be told - but it is the bmother's
'right' not to. If you read that as being 'obligated' so be it.

Kathy 1

"kat" <katlat24seeifthishelps@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:30rpn0F3385f9U2@uni-berlin.de...
| Ok this was still in my outbox this morning and it won't post under the
| other heading for some reason so I am reposting it here.
|
|
| BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
| news:5jWpd.65736$IQ.39829@bignews6.bellsouth.net.. .
| >
| > "kat" <katlat24seeifthishelps@hotmail.com> wrote in message
| > news:30qocpF33pnntU1@uni-berlin.de...
| > |
| > | "BaD *** Me" <
|
|
|
|
| > | > | > | > |
| > | > | > | > What does it matter if a woman decides not to disclose to
you
| or
| > | the
| > | > | > | general
| > | > | > | > public that she had a child and released it for adoption?
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > | Ok for the last time - *I"m not talking about the GENERAL
| PUBLIC*
| > I
| > | > am
| > | > | > | talking about the adoptee's siblings, grandparents, aunts,
etc.
| > IOW
| > | > | > *family
| > | > | > | members*.
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > If I dont want my parents, aunts, cousins to know then they
wont.
| > | > |
| > | > |
| > | > | They will when the adoptee resurfaces. I don't know how many ways
| (or
| > | how
| > | > | many times) I can say it before it sinks in!
| > | > |
| > | > |
| > | > Yea so. That doesnt mean I have to disclose it one second before
then
| > if
| > | > Idont wnt to.
| > |
| > |
| > | Okay. Exactly *who* has suggested that you should?
|
|
|
| > |
| > | >
| >
| > Do you see above?? ""Ok for the last time - *I"m not talking about the
| > GENERAL PUBLIC* I am talking about the adoptee's siblings,
grandparents,
| > aunts, etc. IOW
| > *family members*."""
| > Said in response to my statement ""What does it matter if a woman
decides
| > not to disclose to you or the general public that she had a child and
| > released it for adoption?""
| > That suggests a desire to have the bparent disclose to others her
decision
| > regardless of her desire to keep it to herself.
|
| Ok it's getting late and things are getting repetitious and I'm not paying
| as close attention. Nobody say you *have* (I used should instead of
have)
| to disclose your pregnancy to anybody at any time. If a bparent desires
to
| keep it to herself she is perfectly within her right. It might make it
| harder for the adoptee when he/she resurfaces but the bmother certainly
has
| the option. As I stated in another post I think siblings and grandparents
| at the very least should be told.
|
|
| > She may make a choice that isnt in the best interest of that adoptee
|
|
| Secrecy is never in the best interest of the adoptee imo.
|
|
Im thinking of a situation where a parent of the bparent my force her into
an abortion or into parenting. Where family may put her under so much
pressure that she doesnt go through with an adoption, which is best for the
child.
For example in my situation. Everything was fine until my daughter pat.
grandmother found out. Then she made it pure hell for all. We were in
court for months and the adoptive family was on pins and needles,not
tomention the rest of us. It would have been better if she had never known.


| > but that person is now an adult and is probably prepared for nearly any
| kind
| > of reception at that point in the search.
|
| It is hard to be fully prepared for reunion. It's one of those things
where
| you do the best you can to prepare but you never really know what it is
| about until you do it.
|
| I It may also not be the best way
| > to handle with the family but in the end that woman did what she felt
she
| > had to for whatever reasons.
| >
| >
| > | Shes not even obligated to do it for the
| > | > benefit of the child if she doesnt want to.
| > |
| > |
| > | Of course not, she doesn't owe that child anything once she signs that
| > | adoption decree, not legally or morally - according to you.
| > |
| > That is true. I would hope and believe that many or maybe even most
birth
| > mothers want to do whatever they can to make a reunion possible and
| > comfortable. That doesnt mean they all will or are obligated to.
| >
| >
| > |
| > | > | > There
| > | > | > | > are people today that still dont know what happened to my
| baby.
| > | It
| > | > is
| > | > | > | none
| > | > | > | > of their business either and it never will be.
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > | You really do seem to have some issues with this subject. To
| the
| > | > point
| > | > | > | where it prevents you from seeing what others are *really*
| talking
| > | > | about.
| > | > | > |
| > | > | >
| > | > | > You are talking about forcing a woman or at least expecting her
to
| > | > notify
| > | > | > others of her decision to adopt.
| > | > |
| > | > |
| > | > | You are completely delusional. Apparently you don't read what is
| > | written
| > | > | and just respond to some imaginary conversation that you are
having
| > | (with
| > | > | yourself apparently or maybe some in your life) in your head.
| > | > |
| > | > So you agree she is not obligated to notify others of her decision?
| > |
| > | Of course she isn't 'obligated' to. No one is 'forcing' her to (your
| > | favorite subject). Should she tell the adoptee's siblings,
| > grandparents,and
| > | certain close extended family (I certainly don't think every single
| family
| > | member needs to be notified)to ease the way for her child? I think
so.
| > You
| > | don't. Oh well.
| > |
| >
| > Sure I agree. She should. I am just saying she has the right not to.
|
| So why all the argument? That's obvious. Just like she has the right to
| smoke or not smoke, have that extra piece of pie, marry whoever she
wishes,
| etc., etc., We aren't talking about if she has the 'right' to. Your
| arguments tend to be geared to seeking validation that this is an
| appropriate, sensible, thing to do and should be accepted as such. I still
| think siblings and grandparents should be told - but it is the bmother's
| 'right' not to. If you read that as being 'obligated' so be it.
|
| Kathy 1
|
That is all I was saying. The bmom/dad have the right. Doesnt make it
right.
--
Some of my colleagues think that the chemicals we are experimenting with
could potentially cause brain damage, however I think that fish crunchy bits
of salami my new red hippie noodle. Naked pool frogs?
BaD *** Me

"BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
news:n83qd.65889$IQ.26194@bignews6.bellsouth.net.. .

| > | > | > You are talking about forcing a woman or at least expecting
her to | > | > notify | > | > | > others of her decision to adopt. | > | > | | > | > | | > | > | You are completely delusional. Apparently you don't read what
is | > | written | > | > | and just respond to some imaginary conversation that you are having | > | (with | > | > | yourself apparently or maybe some in your life) in your head. | > | > | | > | > So you agree she is not obligated to notify others of her
decision? | > | | > | Of course she isn't 'obligated' to. No one is 'forcing' her to (your | > | favorite subject). Should she tell the adoptee's siblings, | > grandparents,and | > | certain close extended family (I certainly don't think every single | family | > | member needs to be notified)to ease the way for her child? I think so. | > You | > | don't. Oh well. | > | | > | > Sure I agree. She should. I am just saying she has the right not to. | | So why all the argument? That's obvious. Just like she has the right
to | smoke or not smoke, have that extra piece of pie, marry whoever she wishes, | etc., etc., We aren't talking about if she has the 'right' to. Your | arguments tend to be geared to seeking validation that this is an | appropriate, sensible, thing to do and should be accepted as such. I
still | think siblings and grandparents should be told - but it is the bmother's | 'right' not to. If you read that as being 'obligated' so be it. | | Kathy 1 | That is all I was saying. The bmom/dad have the right. Doesnt make it right.


So did you think that I was talking about taking away her 'right' by passing
some law 'obligating' her to notify family members? C'mon!

Kathy 1

"kat" <katlat24seeifthishelps@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:30utj5F3463csU1@uni-berlin.de...
|
| "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
| news:n83qd.65889$IQ.26194@bignews6.bellsouth.net.. .
|
|
| > | > | > | > You are talking about forcing a woman or at least expecting
| her
| > to
| > | > | > notify
| > | > | > | > others of her decision to adopt.
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > | You are completely delusional. Apparently you don't read what
| is
| > | > | written
| > | > | > | and just respond to some imaginary conversation that you are
| > having
| > | > | (with
| > | > | > | yourself apparently or maybe some in your life) in your head.
| > | > | > |
| > | > | > So you agree she is not obligated to notify others of her
| decision?
| > | > |
| > | > | Of course she isn't 'obligated' to. No one is 'forcing' her to
(your
| > | > | favorite subject). Should she tell the adoptee's siblings,
| > | > grandparents,and
| > | > | certain close extended family (I certainly don't think every
single
| > | family
| > | > | member needs to be notified)to ease the way for her child? I
think
| > so.
| > | > You
| > | > | don't. Oh well.
| > | > |
| > | >
| > | > Sure I agree. She should. I am just saying she has the right not
to.
| > |
| > | So why all the argument? That's obvious. Just like she has the right
| to
| > | smoke or not smoke, have that extra piece of pie, marry whoever she
| > wishes,
| > | etc., etc., We aren't talking about if she has the 'right' to. Your
| > | arguments tend to be geared to seeking validation that this is an
| > | appropriate, sensible, thing to do and should be accepted as such. I
| still
| > | think siblings and grandparents should be told - but it is the
bmother's
| > | 'right' not to. If you read that as being 'obligated' so be it.
| > |
| > | Kathy 1
| > |
| > That is all I was saying. The bmom/dad have the right. Doesnt make it
| > right.
|
|
| So did you think that I was talking about taking away her 'right' by
passing
| some law 'obligating' her to notify family members? C'mon!
|
| Kathy 1
|
|
No, It just sounded to me as though you were being un sympathetic to the
fact that some women and girls do find it necessary in their situations to
hide or lie about their decisions. I took your comments to indicate that
the bparents had no right to keep that information from their families for
any amount of time. If I misunderstood, Im sorry. I may have read more
into your posts than was there.
--
BaD *** Me
**My opinions might have changed but not the fact that I am right!**

"BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
news:l8wqd.39146$fY.4939@bignews3.bellsouth.net...> No, It just sounded to
me as though you were being un sympathetic to the fact that some women and girls do find it necessary in their situations to hide or lie about their decisions. I took your comments to indicate that the bparents had no right to keep that information from their families for any amount of time. If I misunderstood, Im sorry. I may have read more into your posts than was there.

In my situation, my bmom's parents, while they know I exist, don't know that
I'm "back in the picture". Apparently, my bmom became pregnant not long
after her older sister died suddenly in the night (my bmom thinks it might
have been meningitis). My bmom doesn't want them to know we're reunited
because she'd afraid that will remind them of that "bad time". However, in
my bmom's defense, I recently received a picture of her parents, her son
and his new wife ( and I sent her picture of my family dressed up as
vampires - D'OH!)
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557 -- BaD *** Me **My opinions might have changed but not the fact that I am right!**

"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
news:30vm36F34q4tmU2@uni-berlin.de...
|
| "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
| news:l8wqd.39146$fY.4939@bignews3.bellsouth.net...> No, It just sounded to
| me as though you were being un sympathetic to the
| > fact that some women and girls do find it necessary in their situations
to
| > hide or lie about their decisions. I took your comments to indicate
that
| > the bparents had no right to keep that information from their families
for
| > any amount of time. If I misunderstood, Im sorry. I may have read more
| > into your posts than was there.
|
| In my situation, my bmom's parents, while they know I exist, don't know
that
| I'm "back in the picture". Apparently, my bmom became pregnant not long
| after her older sister died suddenly in the night (my bmom thinks it might
| have been meningitis). My bmom doesn't want them to know we're reunited
| because she'd afraid that will remind them of that "bad time". However,
in
| my bmom's defense, I recently received a picture of her parents, her son
| and his new wife ( and I sent her picture of my family dressed up as
| vampires - D'OH!)
| --
| ---------
| Robyn
| Resident Witchypoo
| #1557
| > --
| > BaD *** Me
| > **My opinions might have changed but not the fact that I am right!**
| >
| >
|
Maybe she will come around. I imagine that would be hard but wouldnt a
reunion add something good to what was obviously a bad time in their life?
Just a thought.
--
Some of my colleagues think that the chemicals we are experimenting with
could potentially cause brain damage, however I think that fish crunchy bits
of salami my new red hippie noodle. Naked pool frogs?
BaD *** Me

"BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
news:pyxqd.58145$jE2.19052@bignews4.bellsouth.net. .. "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message news:30vm36F34q4tmU2@uni-berlin.de... | | "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message | news:l8wqd.39146$fY.4939@bignews3.bellsouth.net...> No, It just sounded to | me as though you were being un sympathetic to the | > fact that some women and girls do find it necessary in their situations to | > hide or lie about their decisions. I took your comments to indicate that | > the bparents had no right to keep that information from their families for | > any amount of time. If I misunderstood, Im sorry. I may have read more | > into your posts than was there. | | In my situation, my bmom's parents, while they know I exist, don't know that | I'm "back in the picture". Apparently, my bmom became pregnant not long | after her older sister died suddenly in the night (my bmom thinks it might | have been meningitis). My bmom doesn't want them to know we're reunited | because she'd afraid that will remind them of that "bad time". However, in | my bmom's defense, I recently received a picture of her parents, her son | and his new wife ( and I sent her picture of my family dressed up as | vampires - D'OH!) | -- | --------- | Robyn | Resident Witchypoo | #1557 | > -- | > BaD *** Me | > **My opinions might have changed but not the fact that I am right!** | > | > | Maybe she will come around. I imagine that would be hard but wouldnt a reunion add something good to what was obviously a bad time in their life? Just a thought.

Actually, we ARE in reunion and have met in person. If you re-read what I
wrote above, I was pointing out that her PARENTS don't know we're reunited.
I know her husband doesn't know and I'm not sure about my half-bro.

--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557

"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
news:310eq4F34ke3tU2@uni-berlin.de...
|
| "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
| news:pyxqd.58145$jE2.19052@bignews4.bellsouth.net. ..
| >
| > "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
| > news:30vm36F34q4tmU2@uni-berlin.de...
| > |
| > | "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
| > | news:l8wqd.39146$fY.4939@bignews3.bellsouth.net...> No, It just
sounded
| > to
| > | me as though you were being un sympathetic to the
| > | > fact that some women and girls do find it necessary in their
| > situations
| > to
| > | > hide or lie about their decisions. I took your comments to indicate
| > that
| > | > the bparents had no right to keep that information from their
families
| > for
| > | > any amount of time. If I misunderstood, Im sorry. I may have read
| > more
| > | > into your posts than was there.
| > |
| > | In my situation, my bmom's parents, while they know I exist, don't
know
| > that
| > | I'm "back in the picture". Apparently, my bmom became pregnant not
long
| > | after her older sister died suddenly in the night (my bmom thinks it
| > might
| > | have been meningitis). My bmom doesn't want them to know we're
| > reunited
| > | because she'd afraid that will remind them of that "bad time".
However,
| > in
| > | my bmom's defense, I recently received a picture of her parents, her
| > son
| > | and his new wife ( and I sent her picture of my family dressed up as
| > | vampires - D'OH!)
| > | --
| > | ---------
| > | Robyn
| > | Resident Witchypoo
| > | #1557
| > | > --
| > | > BaD *** Me
| > | > **My opinions might have changed but not the fact that I am right!**
| > | >
| > | >
| > |
| > Maybe she will come around. I imagine that would be hard but wouldnt a
| > reunion add something good to what was obviously a bad time in their
life?
| > Just a thought.
|
| Actually, we ARE in reunion and have met in person. If you re-read what I
| wrote above, I was pointing out that her PARENTS don't know we're
reunited.
| I know her husband doesn't know and I'm not sure about my half-bro.
|
| --
| ---------
| Robyn
| Resident Witchypoo
| #1557
|
|
I understood what you said. I meant that wouldnt it add a good experience
for the gparents and the rest of the family?
--
BaD *** Me
**My opinions might have changed but not the fact that I am right!**

"BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
news:0yJqd.59529$jE2.8545@bignews4.bellsouth.net.. . "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message news:310eq4F34ke3tU2@uni-berlin.de... | | "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message | news:pyxqd.58145$jE2.19052@bignews4.bellsouth.net. .. | > | > "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message | > news:30vm36F34q4tmU2@uni-berlin.de... | > | | > | "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message | > | news:l8wqd.39146$fY.4939@bignews3.bellsouth.net...> No, It just sounded | > to | > | me as though you were being un sympathetic to the | > | > fact that some women and girls do find it necessary in their | > situations | > to | > | > hide or lie about their decisions. I took your comments to indicate | > that | > | > the bparents had no right to keep that information from their families | > for | > | > any amount of time. If I misunderstood, Im sorry. I may have read | > more | > | > into your posts than was there. | > | | > | In my situation, my bmom's parents, while they know I exist, don't know | > that | > | I'm "back in the picture". Apparently, my bmom became pregnant not long | > | after her older sister died suddenly in the night (my bmom thinks it | > might | > | have been meningitis). My bmom doesn't want them to know we're | > reunited | > | because she'd afraid that will remind them of that "bad time". However, | > in | > | my bmom's defense, I recently received a picture of her parents, her | > son | > | and his new wife ( and I sent her picture of my family dressed up as | > | vampires - D'OH!) | > | -- | > | --------- | > | Robyn | > | Resident Witchypoo | > | #1557 | > | > -- | > | > BaD *** Me | > | > **My opinions might have changed but not the fact that I am right!** | > | > | > | > | > | | > Maybe she will come around. I imagine that would be hard but wouldnt a | > reunion add something good to what was obviously a bad time in their life? | > Just a thought. | | Actually, we ARE in reunion and have met in person. If you re-read what I | wrote above, I was pointing out that her PARENTS don't know we're reunited. | I know her husband doesn't know and I'm not sure about my half-bro. |
I understood what you said. I meant that wouldnt it add a good experience for the gparents and the rest of the family?

Well, as I've already previously written above, my bmom feels that it
wouldn't be a good experience for her parents (both of which are in their
late 80s). Who am I to say otherwise? It's her decision, not mine and I'll
have no problem getting through the rest of my life without ever meeting
them.
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557

"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
news:3117fhF377c7uU2@uni-berlin.de...
|
| "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
| news:0yJqd.59529$jE2.8545@bignews4.bellsouth.net.. .
| >
| > "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
| > news:310eq4F34ke3tU2@uni-berlin.de...
| > |
| > | "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
| > | news:pyxqd.58145$jE2.19052@bignews4.bellsouth.net. ..
| > | >
| > | > "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
| > | > news:30vm36F34q4tmU2@uni-berlin.de...
| > | > |
| > | > | "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
| > | > | news:l8wqd.39146$fY.4939@bignews3.bellsouth.net...> No, It just
| > sounded
| > | > to
| > | > | me as though you were being un sympathetic to the
| > | > | > fact that some women and girls do find it necessary in their
| > | > situations
| > | > to
| > | > | > hide or lie about their decisions. I took your comments to
| > indicate
| > | > that
| > | > | > the bparents had no right to keep that information from their
| > families
| > | > for
| > | > | > any amount of time. If I misunderstood, Im sorry. I may have
| > read
| > | > more
| > | > | > into your posts than was there.
| > | > |
| > | > | In my situation, my bmom's parents, while they know I exist, don't
| > know
| > | > that
| > | > | I'm "back in the picture". Apparently, my bmom became pregnant not
| > long
| > | > | after her older sister died suddenly in the night (my bmom thinks
it
| > | > might
| > | > | have been meningitis). My bmom doesn't want them to know we're
| > | > reunited
| > | > | because she'd afraid that will remind them of that "bad time".
| > However,
| > | > in
| > | > | my bmom's defense, I recently received a picture of her parents,
| > her
| > | > son
| > | > | and his new wife ( and I sent her picture of my family dressed up
as
| > | > | vampires - D'OH!)
| > | > | --
| > | > | ---------
| > | > | Robyn
| > | > | Resident Witchypoo
| > | > | #1557
| > | > | > --
| > | > | > BaD *** Me
| > | > | > **My opinions might have changed but not the fact that I am
| > right!**
| > | > | >
| > | > | >
| > | > |
| > | > Maybe she will come around. I imagine that would be hard but
wouldnt
| > a
| > | > reunion add something good to what was obviously a bad time in their
| > life?
| > | > Just a thought.
| > |
| > | Actually, we ARE in reunion and have met in person. If you re-read
what
| > I
| > | wrote above, I was pointing out that her PARENTS don't know we're
| > reunited.
| > | I know her husband doesn't know and I'm not sure about my half-bro.
| > |
|
| > I understood what you said. I meant that wouldnt it add a good
experience
| > for the gparents and the rest of the family?
|
| Well, as I've already previously written above, my bmom feels that it
| wouldn't be a good experience for her parents (both of which are in their
| late 80s). Who am I to say otherwise? It's her decision, not mine and
I'll
| have no problem getting through the rest of my life without ever meeting
| them.
| --
| ---------
| Robyn
| Resident Witchypoo
| #1557
|
It sounds as though she cares alot for her parents and their feelings.
Thats very sweet. I know in my situation my gramma would not want to know
of contact between me and my daughter. It would be painful to her for
different reasons I suppose if that situation ever arose I would try to
protect my granny. She's recently passed away so its not a situation that
we'll face but if it were then thats probably what i'd do. It would be
really hard to decide what to do if my daughter really really wnted to meet
her but granny still felt the way she always has about the adoption....I
regret now even telling her about the adoption in the first place.
--
B a D a S a M e
--
Kinky is using the feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken!

"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
news:3117fhF377c7uU2@uni-berlin.de... "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message news:0yJqd.59529$jE2.8545@bignews4.bellsouth.net.. . "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message news:310eq4F34ke3tU2@uni-berlin.de... | | "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message | news:pyxqd.58145$jE2.19052@bignews4.bellsouth.net. .. | > | > "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message | > news:30vm36F34q4tmU2@uni-berlin.de... | > | | > | "BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message | > | news:l8wqd.39146$fY.4939@bignews3.bellsouth.net...> No, It just sounded | > to | > | me as though you were being un sympathetic to the | > | > fact that some women and girls do find it necessary in their | > situations | > to | > | > hide or lie about their decisions. I took your comments to indicate | > that | > | > the bparents had no right to keep that information from their families | > for | > | > any amount of time. If I misunderstood, Im sorry. I may have read | > more | > | > into your posts than was there. | > | | > | In my situation, my bmom's parents, while they know I exist, don't know | > that | > | I'm "back in the picture". Apparently, my bmom became pregnant not long | > | after her older sister died suddenly in the night (my bmom thinks it | > might | > | have been meningitis). My bmom doesn't want them to know we're | > reunited | > | because she'd afraid that will remind them of that "bad time". However, | > in | > | my bmom's defense, I recently received a picture of her parents, her | > son | > | and his new wife ( and I sent her picture of my family dressed up as | > | vampires - D'OH!) | > | -- | > | --------- | > | Robyn | > | Resident Witchypoo | > | #1557 | > | > -- | > | > BaD *** Me | > | > **My opinions might have changed but not the fact that I am right!** | > | > | > | > | > | | > Maybe she will come around. I imagine that would be hard but wouldnt a | > reunion add something good to what was obviously a bad time in their life? | > Just a thought. | | Actually, we ARE in reunion and have met in person. If you re-read what I | wrote above, I was pointing out that her PARENTS don't know we're reunited. | I know her husband doesn't know and I'm not sure about my half-bro. | I understood what you said. I meant that wouldnt it add a good experience for the gparents and the rest of the family? Well, as I've already previously written above, my bmom feels that it wouldn't be a good experience for her parents (both of which are in their late 80s). Who am I to say otherwise? It's her decision, not mine and I'll have no problem getting through the rest of my life without ever meeting them.
I was blessed that my birthmom immediately told her family about me once we
reunited. Sadly, I didn't get to meet her father until her funeral, but he
welcomed me with open arms and it felt so good for him to give me a hug and
a kiss. It's the little things you know?

KL
-- --------- Robyn Resident Witchypoo #1557

"KL" <klbjornme@aohell.com> wrote in message news:41abb53e@127.0.0.1... "Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message news:3117fhF377c7uU2@uni-berlin.de...

snip Well, as I've already previously written above, my bmom feels that it wouldn't be a good experience for her parents (both of which are in their late 80s). Who am I to say otherwise? It's her decision, not mine and I'll have no problem getting through the rest of my life without ever meeting them. I was blessed that my birthmom immediately told her family about me once we reunited. Sadly, I didn't get to meet her father until her funeral, but he welcomed me with open arms and it felt so good for him to give me a hug and a kiss. It's the little things you know?

Oh gee, thanks a lot! <sniff!>

Seriously though, I would LOVE to meet my bgrandparents. However, I'll
definitely survive without ever doing so. When they shuffle off their
mortal coils, I do plan on visiting their graves and leaving a momento or
two.
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557

"BaD *** Me" <badassme@bellsouth.com> wrote in message
news:zaKqd.36$Dm2.20@bignews1.bellsouth.net...
snip It sounds as though she cares alot for her parents and their feelings.

Ed Zachary :)
Thats very sweet. I know in my situation my gramma would not want to know of contact between me and my daughter. It would be painful to her for different reasons I suppose if that situation ever arose I would try to protect my granny. She's recently passed away so its not a situation that we'll face but if it were then thats probably what i'd do. It would be really hard to decide what to do if my daughter really really wnted to meet her but granny still felt the way she always has about the adoption....I regret now even telling her about the adoption in the first place.
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557

>Subject: Re: Didn't postFrom: "KL" klbjornme@aohell.comDate: 11/29/2004 4:43 PM Mountain Standard TimeMessage-id: <41abb53e@127.0.0.1>
I was blessed that my birthmom immediately told her family about me once wereunited. Sadly, I didn't get to meet her father until her funeral, but hewelcomed me with open arms and it felt so good for him to give me a hug anda kiss. It's the little things you know?KL

My bmom told my brother about me the night that I found her. He was thrilled
to have a big sister. We've been reunited for a couple of years, but we still
talk twice a week.



-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown

lilmtncbn@aol.com (LilMtnCbn) wrote in message news:<20041129225722.06291.00000825@mb-m26.aol.com>...Subject: Re: Didn't postFrom: "KL" klbjornme@aohell.comDate: 11/29/2004 4:43 PM Mountain Standard TimeMessage-id: <41abb53e@127.0.0.1>I was blessed that my birthmom immediately told her family about me once wereunited. Sadly, I didn't get to meet her father until her funeral, but hewelcomed me with open arms and it felt so good for him to give me a hug anda kiss. It's the little things you know?KL My bmom told my brother about me the night that I found her. He was thrilled to have a big sister. We've been reunited for a couple of years, but we still talk twice a week.

:-) to both of you.


Rh. ------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown

>Subject: Re: Didn't postFrom: "Robibnikoff" witchypoo@broomstick.comDate: 11/29/2004
Seriously though, I would LOVE to meet my bgrandparents. However, I'lldefinitely survive without ever doing so. When they shuffle off theirmortal coils, I do plan on visiting their graves and leaving a momento ortwo.-----------RobynResident Witchypoo#1557


I got my dads mom a grave marker when I discovered she did not have one!
Kathy J

lilmtncbn@aol.com (LilMtnCbn) wrote in message news:<20041129225722.06291.00000825@mb-m26.aol.com>...Subject: Re: Didn't postFrom: "KL" klbjornme@aohell.comDate: 11/29/2004 4:43 PM Mountain Standard TimeMessage-id: <41abb53e@127.0.0.1>I was blessed that my birthmom immediately told her family about me once wereunited. Sadly, I didn't get to meet her father until her funeral, but hewelcomed me with open arms and it felt so good for him to give me a hug anda kiss. It's the little things you know?KL My bmom told my brother about me the night that I found her. He was thrilled to have a big sister. We've been reunited for a couple of years, but we still talk twice a week. ------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown

My birthmom told everyone in her family that "her daughter was back"
once she received my initial letter from the agency. Her husband had
always known about me and she had told my 1/2 siblings about me a year
or so before we reunited. My birthmom is gone now but her parents
still write letters to me monthly and spend a lot of time with me when
I visit. I think with my birthmom no longer living, they want to stay
in touch with me more than they would have otherwise.

"Tm n Kat" <tmnkat@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20041130231001.11401.00001559@mb-m29.aol.com...Subject: Re: Didn't postFrom: "Robibnikoff" witchypoo@broomstick.comDate: 11/29/2004Seriously though, I would LOVE to meet my bgrandparents. However, I'lldefinitely survive without ever doing so. When they shuffle off theirmortal coils, I do plan on visiting their graves and leaving a momento ortwo.-----------RobynResident Witchypoo#1557 I got my dads mom a grave marker when I discovered she did not have one! Kathy J

Well, of course I'm assuming here that my bgrandparents are going to be
buried. I'm not planning on that personally (cremated and ashes scattered),
so maybe they're not either.
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557

"Debbie" <aspensky@knology.net> wrote in message
news:4b23522a.0411302142.371d6845@posting.google.c om...
| lilmtncbn@aol.com (LilMtnCbn) wrote in message
news:<20041129225722.06291.00000825@mb-m26.aol.com>...
| > >Subject: Re: Didn't post
| > >From: "KL" klbjornme@aohell.com
| > >Date: 11/29/2004 4:43 PM Mountain Standard Time
| > >Message-id: <41abb53e@127.0.0.1>
| >
| > >I was blessed that my birthmom immediately told her family about me
once we
| > >reunited. Sadly, I didn't get to meet her father until her funeral,
but he
| > >welcomed me with open arms and it felt so good for him to give me a hug
and
| > >a kiss. It's the little things you know?
| > >
| > >KL
| >
| > My bmom told my brother about me the night that I found her. He was
thrilled
| > to have a big sister. We've been reunited for a couple of years, but we
still
| > talk twice a week.
| >
| >
| >
| > -------------------------
| > A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true
friend will
| > be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
| > -----Unknown
|
| My birthmom told everyone in her family that "her daughter was back"
| once she received my initial letter from the agency. Her husband had
| always known about me and she had told my 1/2 siblings about me a year
| or so before we reunited. My birthmom is gone now but her parents
| still write letters to me monthly and spend a lot of time with me when
| I visit. I think with my birthmom no longer living, they want to stay
| in touch with me more than they would have otherwise.

Everyone in my family knows although no one had much to do with it, ie
visiting (K) in the hospital before adoption etc. They didnt really talk to
me about it at all. Anyway, I waited a few years to tell my daughters about
their sister. I know that as they grow up their interest in her may grow
but at the time the only comment I got, other than a few general questions
and some lights turning on that they finally understood a few situations in
the past, my third daughter only wanted assurance that no other child was
coming to live with us. Once she was assured that (K) was staying put with
her parents, she was more than happy to let the whole thing go. I was
surprised since I had built up in my mind a huge deal was going to be made
by all when I broke the news. I guess kids have different ideas about what
is imp. than we do. Sometimes I wander if (K) feels similarly about her
sisters, their OK from a distance but dont come here and steal my thunder?.?
--
BaD *** Me