Bad writes:
My childs a-family has offered to let me visit. >>

<snip>

Let you? Speaking as an adoptive mother with two young sons, I would guess they
very much want to know you. We are fortunate to have connections with our sons'
families by birth. I cannot imagine now knowing what I know about them as
people connected to our family. I see my sons' talents, mannerisms, quirks and,
of course, physical characteristics in them. Watching my sons grow has caused
me to also want very much to know their birthfathers and the families of their
birthfathers. Our requests to meet them have been met with indifference and, in
one instance, hositlity. Losses for us all.


P2P

"Palms2pines" <palms2pines@aol.comh8spam> wrote in message
news:20041126185011.12394.00001324@mb-m28.aol.com...
| Bad writes:
|
| >My childs a-family has offered to let me visit. >>
|
| <snip>
|
| Let you? Speaking as an adoptive mother with two young sons, I would guess
they
| very much want to know you. We are fortunate to have connections with our
sons'
| families by birth. I cannot imagine now knowing what I know about them as
| people connected to our family. I see my sons' talents, mannerisms, quirks
and,
| of course, physical characteristics in them. Watching my sons grow has
caused
| me to also want very much to know their birthfathers and the families of
their
| birthfathers. Our requests to meet them have been met with indifference
and, in
| one instance, hositlity. Losses for us all.
|
|
| P2P

That is too bad. I declined for several reasons. First of all at the time
I only wanted to put the experience behind me go on with life. I lied about
the adoption and almost no knew it had even took place. I also did not want
my other children to know about the adoption yet. And I feel strongly that
I should not become involved in her life until she is an adult. Having
children myself (and having been a teen who fantasized about and then sought
out that absent parent) I know how that 'other' parent can become a
wonderful fantasy for them. I also know that as teens some children are
harder to handle than others. Some have a difficult time during those years
and some would find the prospect of another mom to take their side (or get
mad at if she doesnt) quite attractive. Parentiing is tough enough without
throwing in a visiting parent who is a parent but then again isnt. Im sure
her parents did want to meet me in person but for many reasons I felt it was
not in my best interest, her best interest or the best interest of my other
children at the time.
--
Some of my colleagues think that the chemicals we are experimenting with
could potentially cause brain damage, however I think that fish crunchy bits
of salami my new red hippie noodle. Naked pool frogs?
BaD *** Me