my friend had a child by a woman he meet on deployment and he was careful and used a condom but of course it broke so she end up pregnant and he told her he did not want the baby and was not going to be a part of its life, she had it any way. Paternity test came back and it is indeeed his baby and she sent a email for him to pay her child support and to put the baby in deers but he has not been order to pay a thingto her right now. The email was very matter of fact and tellin him what he need to pay before a set amt was establish. What he would like to know is if he can opted not to take care of the child medically and just pay support and also he wants to give up his rights, plus also can he put what he want in the child support order he would like to have no contact from her about the child so basically he wants in the order no contact whatso ever from her and if so send message thru a caseworker

my friend had a child by a woman he meet on deployment and he was careful and used a condom but of course it broke so she end up pregnant and he told her he did not want the baby and was not going to be a part of its life, she had it any way. Paternity test came back and it is indeeed his baby and she sent a email for him to pay her child support and to put the baby in deers but he has not been order to pay a thingto her right now. The email was very matter of fact and tellin him what he need to pay before a set amt was establish. What he would like to know is if he can opted not to take care of the child medically and just pay support and also he wants to give up his rights, plus also can he put what he want in the child support order he would like to have no contact from her about the child so basically he wants in the order no contact whatso ever from her and if so send message thru a caseworker

You know male subjects like"your friend" sicken me!!! You have sex with this woman and just by chance she ends up pregnant,did he not learn about these
consequences when he was younger?? He is the father and should be held responsible for it.This man was in the military i take it?? does that give him the right to just give up his rights and not take care of this child.........I DONT THINK SO!!!!

I am not sure about the medical, I do know if he does not cover the child on the insurance and the mother does your friend will have to pay a certain amount to her in the child support to cover what the mother pays. The insurance amount will be in addition to the child support. If the mother does not have insurance coverage and goes on Medicaid/medicare whatever it is that the state will pay then your friend will owe the state each month for that expense...all of it including whatever procedures the state pays for due to health reasons. It's better for him to add the child.
As for having the state put in written "no contact" witht he mother, that's fine but not the child. The reason I say this is because your friend does not know what the future holds and he may later on want to be in the childs life and if the woman ever marries again and the new husband wants to adopt the child the state will have to notify the bio father first and then if he agrees he wil no longer be held accountable for the child support although you may want to confirm that with a lawyer first.
Also, do not give her any money without a court order because it will be considered a gift unless the two have something in writing through lawyers. VA is very tough on child support laws and once your friend gets hit with daycare, state costs (if any) and then the basic child support itself he can plan on paying at the least 700.00 a month so it might be better to try and work something out with the mother of his child if she is a reasonable woman and the child is the first concern between both.

I hope for his sake it is not 700.00 a mth and he has 3 other children he pays support for 2 with a order and one a agreement was drawn up with him and one of the mothers

VA take little consideration for the other children. Having other orders will bring down the child support but not by much. Go to the VA child support enforcement web site and click on support calculator. Enter all the information on his income and other orders, he needs to enter hers as well, if he doesn't know it then he needs to guess in realtion to what type of work she does. Do you mind if I ask what part of VA this female leaves in?

my friend had a child by a woman he meet on deployment and he was careful and used a condom but of course it broke so she end up pregnant and he told her he did not want the baby and was not going to be a part of its life, she had it any way. Paternity test came back and it is indeeed his baby and she sent a email for him to pay her child support and to put the baby in deers but he has not been order to pay a thingto her right now. The email was very matter of fact and tellin him what he need to pay before a set amt was establish. What he would like to know is if he can opted not to take care of the child medically and just pay support and also he wants to give up his rights, plus also can he put what he want in the child support order he would like to have no contact from her about the child so basically he wants in the order no contact whatso ever from her and if so send message thru a caseworker
No, he does not HAVE to pay child support until an order is entered. He will most likely owe cs from the filing date for cs. Whether or not he is required to cover medical benefits will be determined by the state guidelines. Once the cs is orderd, he WILL pay it. If not, not only will he have to deal with cse, he will have to deal with the military. The military has a real problem with those that do not pay their obligations.

He cannot unilaterally terminate his parental rights. The courts are not going to leave a child without a legal father. If he doesn't want a relationship with the child, that is his choice, but there will be not be a no contact order. Get real. He certainly seems to have enjoyed the previous contact that resulted in a baby. Now, he can man up and be responsible.

A personal opinion and word of advice...he seriously needs to consider a vasectomy, as he seems to have difficulty grasping the basic facts in how to prevent creating babies.

my friend had a child by a woman he meet on deployment and he was careful and used a condom but of course it broke so she end up pregnant and he told her he did not want the baby and was not going to be a part of its life, she had it any way. Paternity test came back and it is indeeed his baby and she sent a email for him to pay her child support and to put the baby in deers but he has not been order to pay a thingto her right now. The email was very matter of fact and tellin him what he need to pay before a set amt was establish. What he would like to know is if he can opted not to take care of the child medically and just pay support and also he wants to give up his rights, plus also can he put what he want in the child support order he would like to have no contact from her about the child so basically he wants in the order no contact whatso ever from her and if so send message thru a caseworker
I agree with the other posters, I'd like to add though that if your friend is still in the military he will have to obey any court orders because the military is VERY strict on CS issues.

He should not pay anything to the mom until a court orders him to. Although he needs to set aside some money each week to be able to pay any retroactive support ordered.

Your friend also needs to get a vasectomy, with 4 kids and him not wanting to be in his youngest's life it is obvious that he's a lousy father and should stop having kids.

IS He 100% sure that is his child??? Is he willing to take a DNA Test to know for sure??? Before doing anything for her and the baby tell him he needs to take a DNA TEST......

YES the military is very strict in its laws but if the mother tells the state who the father of her baby is and also tells them that HE is ACTIVE Duty military then the state will proceed against him. The STATE loves to hear about military people who are the BIO-parents of children because the state knows that being in the military is a guaranteed paycheck each month.

Second if the mother of the child goes to the command and asks for help she may in fact end up getting it. If she knows anything about military laws your friend may be in big trouble. MOST Commands dont like having woman show up that are fusing about the father of their baby being in the command and not supporting the child.

As far as the military is generally concerned it says that ALL MILITARY PERSONNEL must take care of their dependents which includes children. The active duty servicemember must be able to show the command that HE/SHE is supporting that dependent.

I agree with the other posters, I'd like to add though that if your friend is still in the military he will have to obey any court orders because the military is VERY strict on CS issues.

He should not pay anything to the mom until a court orders him to. Although he needs to set aside some money each week to be able to pay any retroactive support ordered.

Your friend also needs to get a vasectomy, with 4 kids and him not wanting to be in his youngest's life it is obvious that he's a lousy father and should stop having kids.


AMEN to that XENA..... I am tired of hearing about military men getting woman pregnant and then running away and doing it to someone else...... :mad:

I agree he should have his NU_ _ Cut off!!!! LOL I'm not trying to mean, but if you are the new girlfriend look out because the whole package come with him. Dealing with his 3 children plus a fourth. Better make sure this is what you want. Because it could get very stressfull............

I agree he should have his NU_ _ Cut off!!!! LOL I'm not trying to mean, but if you are the new girlfriend look out because the whole package come with him. Dealing with his 3 children plus a fourth. Better make sure this is what you want. Because it could get very stressfull............


not only 4 children, don't forget about the three babymomma's.....it's soap opera

i can consider myself as being a female in the same situation, when i was first deploy i fought out i was pregnant, (no i didnt get pregnant over there), any way my man friend was fought out a day after, we were in to differnts unit, but got deploy around the same time. so before i got ship back to the states, he told me, everything is going to be ok, im going to be there for u u u u......, 3 yrs later that n*gga has been giving me hell with my son., he pays child support but i had to take him to court for that. one min he wants to be in my child life and the next min he dont, now he is engage to some female i fill sorry for her, cause she probably dont know he got three kids, probably two, but he dont claim ours son, but i get have of his paycheck.


You know male subjects like"your friend" sicken me!!! You have sex with this woman and just by chance she ends up pregnant,did he not learn about these
consequences when he was younger?? He is the father and should be held responsible for it.This man was in the military i take it?? does that give him the right to just give up his rights and not take care of this child.........I DONT THINK SO!!!!

The men in the military, choose to protect and obey there county but dont want to take care of there kids. my child father is in the military, and before i meet him he had a child, so i new he a a baby mommy (come to find out his baby mommy was his wife, but about that time i was 6 month pregnant) and mad. but before that when i first meet him i was with to a my high school sweet heart, and when we got engage, everything went down hill, i didnt want to be with him, i told him i didnt want to be with him, stop having relation with him and start messing around with my baby father, than when i got pregnant the baby was his, and than he start having doubts, but when i took him to court, it was for child support and to take and dna test, so nobody wouldnt have no doubts of parternity. soon he got serve he dismiss the dna test and went threw with the child support. months and months went by and i think he was still having doubts, so i schedule 3 parternity test. the day of the appointment he always had and excuse, to not show up, saying he couldnt leave his work, but he a d#mn sgt, in the army. WHTEVER. anyway our son is almost 3 now and he hasnt send him but 3 times since he been born. one min he wants to be there and the next min he dont.



IS He 100% sure that is his child??? Is he willing to take a DNA Test to know for sure??? Before doing anything for her and the baby tell him he needs to take a DNA TEST......

YES the military is very strict in its laws but if the mother tells the state who the father of her baby is and also tells them that HE is ACTIVE Duty military then the state will proceed against him. The STATE loves to hear about military people who are the BIO-parents of children because the state knows that being in the military is a guaranteed paycheck each month.

Second if the mother of the child goes to the command and asks for help she may in fact end up getting it. If she knows anything about military laws your friend may be in big trouble. MOST Commands dont like having woman show up that are fusing about the father of their baby being in the command and not supporting the child.

As far as the military is generally concerned it says that ALL MILITARY PERSONNEL must take care of their dependents which includes children. The active duty servicemember must be able to show the command that HE/SHE is supporting that dependent.




AMEN to that XENA..... I am tired of hearing about military men getting woman pregnant and then running away and doing it to someone else...... :mad:

Maybe the woman should have been on birth control. The man did his part to prevent the pregnancy. She should be solely responsible!

Maybe the woman should have been on birth control. The man did his part to prevent the pregnancy. She should be solely responsible!

What are you smoking?

If the man didn't want a baby, he shouldn't have had sex. Period.

I am actually offended to be considered the same sex as you. Your attitudes are what give men a bad name.

If you father a child, care for it. Be a real man and be a father.

Hold up, why am i getting beat up on. to start off i didnt know my son father was a *** hole. until i started needed things from the baby and the true n$gga came out. he was fine when i was pregnant, i didnt have no problems with him. the only reason why he is paying because they had to force it on him. and now his *** just got kick out the military for what reason i dont know and since he dont have no job he now wants to give up his rights, so please dont knock me. after everything this boy put me threw im still trying to let him have a relationship with his son. he ask me a month n a half ago can he see his son, so i let him. the n$gga dont know what he wants. one minute he wants to be there and the next when his sh$t aint right he dont want to.

ok im not the man, im the mother of the child, that the man that u are talking about have 3 kids by three differnt women, one who he loves, the other who he cares about but not really, and the third who i dont know if he even check up on her. my son which is 2 has two sister who he probably will never get to meet, so if u want to diss the man hear u go, renaldo29@hotmail.com


What are you smoking?

If the man didn't want a baby, he shouldn't have had sex. Period.

I am actually offended to be considered the same sex as you. Your attitudes are what give men a bad name.

If you father a child, care for it. Be a real man and be a father.

What did the man do, not a damn thing, he knew he got me pregnant before i even fought out, and yea u are right i should have use birth control, but it to late, that dont give him the right to not take care of his responsibilty. so no what


Maybe the woman should have been on birth control. The man did his part to prevent the pregnancy. She should be solely responsible!