LilMtnCbn
09-06-2004, 04:56 AM
http://www.kingcountyjournal.com/sited/story/html/172568
Renton man, daughter meet after decades
2004-09-06
by Mary Swift
Journal Reporter
RENTON -- She was the daughter he never knew existed.
He was the father she dreamed of meeting.
Now, nearly 39 years after her birth, Renton's Randy Holt has met his oldest
child -- and says God has delivered an unexpected blessing.
Holt, who grew up in Michigan, joined the Army at 17. In 1965, he was a
19-year-old soldier stationed in Germany. When he left Germany and headed home
to leave the Army, he didn't know his young German girlfriend was pregnant.
``She didn't speak much English and I didn't speak German,'' he said. ``And the
last two months I was there I wasn't allowed off the base. So I never knew.''
The German girl gave birth to a daughter and put her up for adoption. The baby
was adopted by a military couple who later divorced. Her adoptive mother
eventually remarried and the family moved to Texas.
When the little girl, Ingrid Starks, was 7 her mother told her she was adopted.
As luck would have it, Starks' birth mother married an American serviceman and
also ended up living in Texas.
Starks was 27 when she found her birth mother, who also is named Ingrid.
She yearned to find her birth father, too, but while her birth mother knew her
father's name no one knew how to reach him. After leaving the service, he'd
gone back to Michigan, then traveled awhile, then married and had two children.
Eventually, he and his wife brought the family to Renton where they still live.
Four months ago, Holt got a call from an airman he'd known while he was in the
service. They chatted, then exchanged e-mails. Then, the old friend delivered a
bombshell: Your girlfriend was pregnant, he told Holt. You have a daughter. She
was given up for adoption but she's been trying to find you.
Stunned, Holt told his wife.
``If it's true,'' she said, ``we have another member of the family.''
In June, Holt picked up the phone and dialed Starks' number.
``Hi,'' he told her, ``this is Randy Holt.''
And instinctively, he says, he felt a connection.
``She was so dynamic. We had so much in common,'' he said. ``She said, `Even if
you're not my father, you can't have too many friends.'''
It was the first of a long series of phone calls.
Holt, who owns Future Look Hair Design 2 in Renton and counts Sonics coach Nate
McMillan among his customers, learned that Starks was a hair stylist who ran
her own salon. Twice divorced, she opted for in vitro fertilization at the age
of 35 and is now a single mom raising 3-year-old twin girls, Yori and Enzi.
``We talked almost every day,'' Holt said. ``Sometimes we talked for hours.''
An investigator had helped Starks find Holt but even after she had his phone
number, she held off on making contact, wary of disrupting his life.
That's why she asked the airman who had been a friend to both her parents to be
the intermediary.
As it turns out, she needn't have worried.
On July 31, Holt flew to Dallas to meet Starks for the first time.
``We both hugged and looked at each other,'' Starks said. ``It was like an
out-of-body experience. Here's a man who never knew I was out there. We were
both a little misty-eyed.''
A paternity test revealed what each of them already knew -- that Holt was
Starks' father.
In mid-August, shortly after returning from Dallas, Holt scheduled a barbecue
to mark the opening of his business in a new location.
Starks, knowing how excited he was, sent yellow roses.
That afternoon, she arrived -- unannounced -- in Renton.
``I go to step out the door and who's standing outside? My daughter. My legs
just buckled. She just came to spend the day with me. She knew how important
that day was to me,'' Holt said.
Discovering the daughter he didn't know existed has been a blessing, he said.
It's the same term Starks uses to describe the impact of the experience on her
life.
``I'm blessed because both my birth mother and my birth father are so accepting
of me,'' she said. ``I know it changed a lot of people's lives because there's
so much extended family out there. Finding my mother was a healing process for
me.
``Finding Randy was like the final piece of that puzzle.''
The whole experience, Holt says, is a reminder that life dishes up surprises,
often when we least expect them.
``We never know what can happen,'' he said, ``so we better be prepared for
whatever happens.''
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
Renton man, daughter meet after decades
2004-09-06
by Mary Swift
Journal Reporter
RENTON -- She was the daughter he never knew existed.
He was the father she dreamed of meeting.
Now, nearly 39 years after her birth, Renton's Randy Holt has met his oldest
child -- and says God has delivered an unexpected blessing.
Holt, who grew up in Michigan, joined the Army at 17. In 1965, he was a
19-year-old soldier stationed in Germany. When he left Germany and headed home
to leave the Army, he didn't know his young German girlfriend was pregnant.
``She didn't speak much English and I didn't speak German,'' he said. ``And the
last two months I was there I wasn't allowed off the base. So I never knew.''
The German girl gave birth to a daughter and put her up for adoption. The baby
was adopted by a military couple who later divorced. Her adoptive mother
eventually remarried and the family moved to Texas.
When the little girl, Ingrid Starks, was 7 her mother told her she was adopted.
As luck would have it, Starks' birth mother married an American serviceman and
also ended up living in Texas.
Starks was 27 when she found her birth mother, who also is named Ingrid.
She yearned to find her birth father, too, but while her birth mother knew her
father's name no one knew how to reach him. After leaving the service, he'd
gone back to Michigan, then traveled awhile, then married and had two children.
Eventually, he and his wife brought the family to Renton where they still live.
Four months ago, Holt got a call from an airman he'd known while he was in the
service. They chatted, then exchanged e-mails. Then, the old friend delivered a
bombshell: Your girlfriend was pregnant, he told Holt. You have a daughter. She
was given up for adoption but she's been trying to find you.
Stunned, Holt told his wife.
``If it's true,'' she said, ``we have another member of the family.''
In June, Holt picked up the phone and dialed Starks' number.
``Hi,'' he told her, ``this is Randy Holt.''
And instinctively, he says, he felt a connection.
``She was so dynamic. We had so much in common,'' he said. ``She said, `Even if
you're not my father, you can't have too many friends.'''
It was the first of a long series of phone calls.
Holt, who owns Future Look Hair Design 2 in Renton and counts Sonics coach Nate
McMillan among his customers, learned that Starks was a hair stylist who ran
her own salon. Twice divorced, she opted for in vitro fertilization at the age
of 35 and is now a single mom raising 3-year-old twin girls, Yori and Enzi.
``We talked almost every day,'' Holt said. ``Sometimes we talked for hours.''
An investigator had helped Starks find Holt but even after she had his phone
number, she held off on making contact, wary of disrupting his life.
That's why she asked the airman who had been a friend to both her parents to be
the intermediary.
As it turns out, she needn't have worried.
On July 31, Holt flew to Dallas to meet Starks for the first time.
``We both hugged and looked at each other,'' Starks said. ``It was like an
out-of-body experience. Here's a man who never knew I was out there. We were
both a little misty-eyed.''
A paternity test revealed what each of them already knew -- that Holt was
Starks' father.
In mid-August, shortly after returning from Dallas, Holt scheduled a barbecue
to mark the opening of his business in a new location.
Starks, knowing how excited he was, sent yellow roses.
That afternoon, she arrived -- unannounced -- in Renton.
``I go to step out the door and who's standing outside? My daughter. My legs
just buckled. She just came to spend the day with me. She knew how important
that day was to me,'' Holt said.
Discovering the daughter he didn't know existed has been a blessing, he said.
It's the same term Starks uses to describe the impact of the experience on her
life.
``I'm blessed because both my birth mother and my birth father are so accepting
of me,'' she said. ``I know it changed a lot of people's lives because there's
so much extended family out there. Finding my mother was a healing process for
me.
``Finding Randy was like the final piece of that puzzle.''
The whole experience, Holt says, is a reminder that life dishes up surprises,
often when we least expect them.
``We never know what can happen,'' he said, ``so we better be prepared for
whatever happens.''
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
