I live in NH with my 10 year old daughter. I've been divorced since 2003 and came out of it with zero custody. My ex-wife has sole legal and physical custody. I could get into how this came to be but let's save that whole b/s story for another time. She was able to convince the court that moving to FL with my daughter would be a good thing and the GAL agreed, again more b/s. Anyways, she moved down in the fall of 2004 with my daughter in tow. I visited regularly until March 2005 when my daughter confided to me that mom wasn't taking care of business. I spoke with the ex, and more importantly, my daughter spoke to mom about her returning to NH to live with Dad. Two weeks later she was on a plane and has been home now ever since.

Here is my problem. I have always paid my child support, starting the day I moved out of the house. Never late, always paid, directly to the state. When my daughter came home, I continued to pay, reasoning that perhaps she may miss Mom and want to return if it becomes too much for her. My ex agreed to return the money voluntarily until we could see how things went. Well needless to say, she's been home for a year and a couple of months and I've been reimbursed very little of the $500 a month I've been paying. I don't see her wanting to return to FL anytime soon. For awhile it didn't bother me to much because I figured that it was a very small price to pay too have my daughter at home. I also figured that the longer I had her here with me, the stronger case I would have in a future custody modification case. My question is this: Is now the time to go for custody of my daughter? Have I waited long enough to present a strong case for custody? Should I just continue paying the greedy beast so as not to rock the boat? Can I eliminate the child support without a change in custody? Should I attempt to turn the tables on her and make her pay child support? Can i force her to pay me back any of this support I paid? Understand that I would be happy with joint legal custody and primary physical custody with liberal visits to mom. I'm not necessarily looking to pull a power play here, I simply want what I'm sure I deserve. I'm sick of paying her money she doesn't deserve!!!! Things during the divorce were VERY contentious which was very sad for everyone involved, but now their is none of that. I'm afraid that if I file anything to change the current arrangement, she will come unglued and fly back here and take her away.

I live in NH with my 10 year old daughter. I've been divorced since 2003 and came out of it with zero custody. My ex-wife has sole legal and physical custody. I could get into how this came to be but let's save that whole b/s story for another time. She was able to convince the court that moving to FL with my daughter would be a good thing and the GAL agreed, again more b/s. Anyways, she moved down in the fall of 2004 with my daughter in tow. I visited regularly until March 2005 when my daughter confided to me that mom wasn't taking care of business. I spoke with the ex, and more importantly, my daughter spoke to mom about her returning to NH to live with Dad. Two weeks later she was on a plane and has been home now ever since.

Here is my problem. I have always paid my child support, starting the day I moved out of the house. Never late, always paid, directly to the state. When my daughter came home, I continued to pay, reasoning that perhaps she may miss Mom and want to return if it becomes too much for her. My ex agreed to return the money voluntarily until we could see how things went. Well needless to say, she's been home for a year and a couple of months and I've been reimbursed very little of the $500 a month I've been paying. For awhile it didn't bother me too much because I figured that it was a very small price to pay too have my daughter at home. I also figured that the longer I had her here with me, the stronger case I would have in a future custody modification case. My question is this: Is now the time to go for custody of my daughter? Have I waited long enough to present a strong case for custody? Should I just continue paying the greedy beast so as not to rock the boat? Can I eliminate the child support without a change in custody? Understand that I would be happy with joint legal custody and primary physical custody. I'm not necessarily looking to pull a power play here, I simply want what I'm sure I deserve. I'm sick of paying her money she doesn't deserve to have!!!!!!
Absolutely. Your daughter is living with you. The mother should have been paying YOU support, but unfortunately, until the custody is modified, you have no grounds to modify the child support. File to modify the custody with you retaining primary physical custody and file to order her to pay child support. You have no reason not to, and the most important reason you should file. Your daughter is living with you. It is no different than you paying support while she had been living with her mother. BOTH parents are responsible for supporting the child.