My wife and I live in PA and she has two boys to her ex husband. He has lived in OHIO for the past four years or so. They have an agreement of shared custody but the father only wants them at his convenience, which amounted to 25 days of custody in 2005. Her ex announced that he is homosexual at their divorce proceedings after 9 years of marriage and the boys are now 14 and 10. We are concerned because the older boy doesn't want to go with his dad this summer and we don't feel it's safe sending the younger boy by himself as his father is living with his partner of the moment. Can he demand that we take the kids to him out of state or take them back with him to Ohio after visiting here with his family? We're very worried and the fact that he wants them so little of the time is sad. His new lifestyle doesn't have time for children apparently. Please help!!

My wife and I live in PA and she has two boys to her ex husband. He has lived in OHIO for the past four years or so. They have an agreement of shared custody but the father only wants them at his convenience, which amounted to 25 days of custody in 2005. Her ex announced that he is homosexual at their divorce proceedings after 9 years of marriage and the boys are now 14 and 10. We are concerned because the older boy doesn't want to go with his dad this summer and we don't feel it's safe sending the younger boy by himself as his father is living with his partner of the moment. Can he demand that we take the kids to him out of state or take them back with him to Ohio after visiting here with his family? We're very worried and the fact that he wants them so little of the time is sad. His new lifestyle doesn't have time for children apparently. Please help!!
If there is a court order for custody/visitation, then it must be abided by. Being gay does not predispose someone to being dangerous to a child. If you are dealing with the "ick" factor, that is your and your wife's problem. Your wife's only option is to go to court to modify the visitation. Whether your step son wants to go or not is irrelevant, until or unless the judge rules that he does not have to go. This is a great time to teach him that sometimes in life, a person must do what is required, whether they like it or not.

Don't get me wrong. We teach the kids to be open minded and to accept things for what they are and people for who they are. They don't even know that their father is gay yet so the issue isn't there. However, their baptist upbringing and their grandparents try to undo what we are trying to instill. The whole fact of the issue isn't him being gay, but the worry is still there for my wife. The fact is that he is over 5,000.00 in arrears and keeps changing jobs to throw off the child support. Basically, he's a dead beat dad in my eyes. My father was too, being a stepchild myself. There is no order stating anything but shared custody. No terms are in place.

Don't get me wrong. We teach the kids to be open minded and to accept things for what they are and people for who they are. They don't even know that their father is gay yet so the issue isn't there. However, their baptist upbringing and their grandparents try to undo what we are trying to instill. The whole fact of the issue isn't him being gay, but the worry is still there for my wife. The fact is that he is over 5,000.00 in arrears and keeps changing jobs to throw off the child support. Basically, he's a dead beat dad in my eyes. My father was too, being a stepchild myself. There is no order stating anything but shared custody. No terms are in place.
There is no order stating that the father has visitation? How is the order worded as far as who the children live with and when the other parent can exercise visitation?