I took a day off without pay, rented a car, drove for 4hours leaving at four in the morning just to be there for my daughter on her big day.

She goes to a catholic school. When I got there everything was fine, talked to her teacher, S (kindergatener) came in, sooooo excited I was there. She showed me her room. The teacher and S showed me where they were doing the graduation ceremony, and the church where they were going to have mass, and S was going to read the opening welcome statement.

I left her to take a seat, and use the restroom. I found I (my 4yr old) in the restroom with his girlfriend. We washed out hands together and his gf then pulls I out of the restroom away from me. :confused:

I go out to the hall, and I runs up and hugs me and holds my hand. His gf instructs I to come by her. So I said she could stand my me if she wants. We start to walk into the church part to take our seats, and I ask I if she wants to sit with me up front to take pictures. She says yes. the GF grabs her by the arm and pulls her tward the back. She then pulls her into a pue between her and him. :confused: I said I wanted to sit with my daughter. GF says you came unannounced. I said I did not, I was invited and have said I was coming. They ignore me, so I ask I again if she wants to sit with me, and she said yes. So I go into the pue behind them and go to pick her up, and gf pushes me back. I told her not to touch me. I pick up I and go to sit so we can take pictures. She stands up and is darn near screaming how they are going to call the police. I told her the police couldn't do anything because I wanted to sit with MY daughter. I have joint custody, and I wasn't trying to remove her from their eye sight. She comes over grabs I and yanks her arm trying to pull her away from me. I told her "Get your hands off my daughter!" I didn't yell it, but said it firmly, so she knew I ment it. Had she not I would have called the cops, she was manhandling her.

:mad: I and I go to the principals office to try to talk to him, and gf storms in there first. then the principal talks only to my ex, then basically tells me that since there is no court order he can't make me leave unless I create a scene. Tells us to quickly figure out what we are going to do. He says we shouldn't talk infront of I, and so then of course gf grabs her by the arm and pulls her out of the office.

He tells me how he was told to call the cops if I arrived unannounced. I said he knew I was coming. I said it right in front of him to S when she refused to go home last weekend. Plus why did gf tell S that if I come she doesn't need to cry when I go home. I then told him about the up coming court date we will find out about when the letters from the court house come. And that I would make sure it gets brought up that I came to support S on her Kinder.. grad..day, and they were trying to keep my daughters from me. We went back to the church, made me miss my little girls opening welcome. I go to sit down and gf pushes I into a pue in the back, the ex. has them come to where I am. I asked to be on the outside so I could take a picture, and gf tries to push I inbetween them again. the ex has to pull I away from gf so I can sit by me.

After the mass, I and me sat at a table, and I told them that she found us all a table. They went to the back of the room. His mom and step dad showed up, so even more tention. So after the gradu... ceremony I took a couple pictures of both the girls, gave hugs and kisses and told them I should go. I tried to make S think my tears were happy tears because I was so proud of her, she was ok with that.

What can I do about the gf that things she can push me around when it comes to my daighters? the ex did nothing each time she grabbed I.

Crappiest thing of all is she was my best friend when I was married to him. Then after I moved she hooked up with him. And I know that if she wasn't in the picture he wouldn't be so bad about almost everything. She still sees me as a threat.

What do I do? :(

Just found out the court date is next Friday the 26th.

What is the court hearing exactly supposed to determine?

What is the court hearing exactly supposed to determine?

I originally filed for change of placement, in WI that means physical custody.

My basis for that was him not taking care of the children by buying them clothes and shoes that fit ( I have pictures of shoes that are clearly too small, and he would continually make them wear them) would not take our youngest to the doctor (she has a skin disease, and he was saying I wasn't doing what HE said for it) At the time he refused to let me see the girls. Wasn't sharing information about them. Or making decisions based on what was best for the girls.

we had a first hearing, I got a temp visitation order, and her first dr appointment was that following friday, he still put them in the shoes after that. Until my oldest refused to wear them because they hurt her feet.

it was all put on hold (jurisdiction act) but WI has to hear the case now. So Next friday.

I originally filed for change of placement, in WI that means physical custody.

My basis for that was him not taking care of the children by buying them clothes and shoes that fit ( I have pictures of shoes that are clearly too small, and he would continually make them wear them) would not take our youngest to the doctor (she has a skin disease, and he was saying I wasn't doing what HE said for it) At the time he refused to let me see the girls. Wasn't sharing information about them. Or making decisions based on what was best for the girls.

we had a first hearing, I got a temp visitation order, and her first dr appointment was that following friday, he still put them in the shoes after that. Until my oldest refused to wear them because they hurt her feet.

it was all put on hold (jurisdiction act) but WI has to hear the case now. So Next friday.


I would address the clothes and shoes as "inappropriate dress for the children", definitely the lack of care for a child's medical condition is cause for concern, as well as lack of sharing information about the children. Don't nit pick about the small stuff because the judge may deem this to be more about harassing the ex as opposed to concern for the children.

The gf's actions must be brought out in court. It was not only interference, it was borderline abusive to your children. (interference with visitation) Either way, it was conduct so far out of line that I can't believe a judge would ignore it. Her actions show a clear disregard for your rights as the children's mother. I hope you were able to have witness to this behavior. Even if you didn't, you need to have her personally in court to give the judge opportunity to question her and let her know that her behavior is unacceptable.

I took a day off without pay, rented a car, drove for 4hours leaving at four in the morning just to be there for my daughter on her big day.

She goes to a catholic school. When I got there everything was fine, talked to her teacher, S (kindergatener) came in, sooooo excited I was there. She showed me her room. The teacher and S showed me where they were doing the graduation ceremony, and the church where they were going to have mass, and S was going to read the opening welcome statement.

I left her to take a seat, and use the restroom. I found I (my 4yr old) in the restroom with his girlfriend. We washed out hands together and his gf then pulls I out of the restroom away from me. :confused:

I go out to the hall, and I runs up and hugs me and holds my hand. His gf instructs I to come by her. So I said she could stand my me if she wants. We start to walk into the church part to take our seats, and I ask I if she wants to sit with me up front to take pictures. She says yes. the GF grabs her by the arm and pulls her tward the back. She then pulls her into a pue between her and him. :confused: I said I wanted to sit with my daughter. GF says you came unannounced. I said I did not, I was invited and have said I was coming. They ignore me, so I ask I again if she wants to sit with me, and she said yes. So I go into the pue behind them and go to pick her up, and gf pushes me back. I told her not to touch me. I pick up I and go to sit so we can take pictures. She stands up and is darn near screaming how they are going to call the police. I told her the police couldn't do anything because I wanted to sit with MY daughter. I have joint custody, and I wasn't trying to remove her from their eye sight. She comes over grabs I and yanks her arm trying to pull her away from me. I told her "Get your hands off my daughter!" I didn't yell it, but said it firmly, so she knew I ment it. Had she not I would have called the cops, she was manhandling her.

:mad: I and I go to the principals office to try to talk to him, and gf storms in there first. then the principal talks only to my ex, then basically tells me that since there is no court order he can't make me leave unless I create a scene. Tells us to quickly figure out what we are going to do. He says we shouldn't talk infront of I, and so then of course gf grabs her by the arm and pulls her out of the office.

He tells me how he was told to call the cops if I arrived unannounced. I said he knew I was coming. I said it right in front of him to S when she refused to go home last weekend. Plus why did gf tell S that if I come she doesn't need to cry when I go home. I then told him about the up coming court date we will find out about when the letters from the court house come. And that I would make sure it gets brought up that I came to support S on her Kinder.. grad..day, and they were trying to keep my daughters from me. We went back to the church, made me miss my little girls opening welcome. I go to sit down and gf pushes I into a pue in the back, the ex. has them come to where I am. I asked to be on the outside so I could take a picture, and gf tries to push I inbetween them again. the ex has to pull I away from gf so I can sit by me.

After the mass, I and me sat at a table, and I told them that she found us all a table. They went to the back of the room. His mom and step dad showed up, so even more tention. So after the gradu... ceremony I took a couple pictures of both the girls, gave hugs and kisses and told them I should go. I tried to make S think my tears were happy tears because I was so proud of her, she was ok with that.

What can I do about the gf that things she can push me around when it comes to my daighters? the ex did nothing each time she grabbed I.

Crappiest thing of all is she was my best friend when I was married to him. Then after I moved she hooked up with him. And I know that if she wasn't in the picture he wouldn't be so bad about almost everything. She still sees me as a threat.

What do I do? :(

Just found out the court date is next Friday the 26th.
WITH A FRIEND LIKE THAT WHO NEEDS ENEMYS (RIGHT). I WOULD EXPLANE TO THE JUDGE OR YOUR LAWYER WHAT THE GF DID AT YOUR DAUGHTERS GRAD. WHAT RIGHT DOES SHE HAVE TO INTERFEAR IN YOUR CHILDS GRAD. IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SHE THINKS THAT SHE HAS TO COMPLETE WITH YOU. SHE IS NOT THE CHILDS MOTHER OR STEP MOTHER. SHE IS JUST THE KIDS DADS GF WHICH DOESN'T MEAN ANY THING. HOPEFULLY HE DOESN'T MAKE HER THEIR STEP MOM. SHE DOESN'T SOUND TO BRIGHT DOING WHAT SHE DID. NOW IF THAT WAS ME THERE WOULD PROBLEY BE A CAT FIGHT. I DON'T LIKE SEEING MY CHILD BE MISTREATED BY ANY ONE ESPECIALLY A GF. YOUR EX DOESN'T SEAM TO MIND HOW SHE DID YOU OR THE KIDS. I HOPE THE KIDS ARE NOT LEFT BY THEM SELFS WITH HER. SHE DON'T SOUND TO NICE AT ALL. HOPE EVERY THING WORKS OUT FOR YOU.

Can I ask why it is that your ex and his gf have your children?

Can I ask why it is that your ex and his gf have your children?
My ex boyfriend (never married) and his gf don't have my daughter. My ex boyfriend has a daughter with another girl. But now he has a new gf who is pragent by him. All together he'll have three kids (that i know of) from three different woman. :eek:

I was asking tina5160.

I was asking tina5160.
Had so much coffee that i got ahead of my self. I thought you were talking about me. I better start reading who is talking to who. My mistake sorry. :o

I was asking tina5160.

Well, after the divorce things were ok between him and I. When I wanted to move to AZ he didn't have a problem with it. Mainly becuae until I got settled the girls would be with him then they would come down to be with me. We had to change placement so the girls would keep there benifits, and I had no problem paying cs while they were with him.

I thought I was protecting them from the difficulties that one faces when you start in a new place. I didn't have to worry about if they were getting what they needed, I had no way of really knowing it would be the biggest mistake of my life.

The problem is that after I left, he did a 180 and became resentful and vendictive, probabaly was before but hid it to get placement. I didn't stay in AZ becuase of him. I wasn't allowed to see my daughters, and I came back when I found out the girls were living at his mothers house. But he wasn't. My mom told him I was comong back (long story about that) and so he got the girls and a place before I could do anything about that. (When the girls were at this mothers he was in ND with his now gf, I didn't know that till later becuase they didn't tell me they were together)

The thing I am worried about is that he is not taking care of there needs like he should, and the way that the gf was coming between me and my daughter and he did nothing. Not to mention the way she kept grabbing my daughter and yanking her from me. He said nothing, he didn't protect our daughter. It was suggested that I ask the judge to put a protective order on my kids. The person also said a restaining order to keep her away from my kids, but she lives there, he and her have a baby together. But I am really afraid because it is her and my youngest home alone together between 8am and about 4pm. from what I saw on friday, my youngest thought she had to listen to his gf over me, and I think she thought if she didn't then she would get in trouble when she got home.

My daughter shouldn't be afraid of her.

I came back when I found out the girls were living at his mothers house. But he wasn't.

(When the girls were at this mothers he was in ND with his now gf, I didn't know that till later because they didn't tell me they were together)

The thing I am worried about is that he is not taking care of there needs like he should, and the way that the gf was coming between me and my daughter and he did nothing. Not to mention the way she kept grabbing my daughter and yanking her from me. He said nothing, he didn't protect our daughter. It was suggested that I ask the judge to put a protective order on my kids. The person also said a restraining order to keep her away from my kids, but she lives there, he and her have a baby together. But I am really afraid because it is her and my youngest home alone together between 8am and about 4pm. from what I saw on friday, my youngest thought she had to listen to his gf over me, and I think she thought if she didn't then she would get in trouble when she got home.




How long was he in ND with the girlfriend? Did he bother to give his mother legal guardianship while he was gone?

In my state, if he was gone more than 90 days, without support or contact WITH THE CHILDREN, not just his mother, it's abandonment, even if contact resumes after that point. Again, in my state, that is reason to terminate someones parental rights. Try to find out what your state laws are.

If he left the state without his children and did not assign a temporary guardian, in writing, at minimum notarized, you could definitely make a case that he his not looking out for the children's best interests.

A guardianship lets someone else make decisions about medical care, schooling, legal issues, etc.. on behalf of the children. If anything had happened to your children while he was in ND, without a guardian, there would be no one that could legally make decisions for child. (like emergency medical treatment, surgery, etc...) This would show lack of concern for your children's well being.

If you truly are concerned about the way she treats your children, seek the restraining order. Just because they live together and it would make it difficult FOR THEM, is no reason to leave your childs safety in question. If you TRULY BELIEVE she is abusing your children, there are emergency domestic relations protective orders (where we live, and it doesn't cost anything to file) that would give you temporary custody until at least a hearing in front of a judge where both parties are required to attend. If they do not show, the order is made permanent and you have custody.

If you do not have proof or sincere belief of abuse, do not go this route. It could be held against you later in your custody case as harassment of your ex and his gf.

How long was he in ND with the girlfriend? Did he bother to give his mother legal guardianship while he was gone?

In my state, if he was gone more than 90 days, without support or contact WITH THE CHILDREN, not just his mother, it's abandonment, even if contact resumes after that point. Again, in my state, that is reason to terminate someones parental rights. Try to find out what your state laws are.

If he left the state without his children and did not assign a temporary guardian, in writing, at minimum notarized, you could definitely make a case that he his not looking out for the children's best interests.

A guardianship lets someone else make decisions about medical care, schooling, legal issues, etc.. on behalf of the children. If anything had happened to your children while he was in ND, without a guardian, there would be no one that could legally make decisions for child. (like emergency medical treatment, surgery, etc...) This would show lack of concern for your children's well being.

If you truly are concerned about the way she treats your children, seek the restraining order. Just because they live together and it would make it difficult FOR THEM, is no reason to leave your childs safety in question. If you TRULY BELIEVE she is abusing your children, there are emergency domestic relations protective orders (where we live, and it doesn't cost anything to file) that would give you temporary custody until at least a hearing in front of a judge where both parties are required to attend. If they do not show, the order is made permanent and you have custody.

If you do not have proof or sincere belief of abuse, do not go this route. It could be held against you later in your custody case as harassment of your ex and his gf.

I will talk to the judge not on the definate base of abuse, well physical anyways. I will tell the judge I am concerned for my childrens safety due to the fact that if she acts like this (grabbing my daughter and pulling on her) in a church, that I am concerned with what is going on at home. I will tell him that I am even more concerned because every time she did this my ex said and did nothing. (Which my main point in the case has been from the begining that he is not making decsions that are for the GIRLS best interest.) And with the children spending so much time alone with her, I again am worried. I plan on also making the point that my daughter was worried about backlash at home if she didn't listen to the gf over me when I would tell her that it was ok for her to stand by me or sit by me.

The best way to prove the abuse (not sure if you have the funds to do this) would be to get a micro camera. They can be placed in teddy bears and things like that. Next time you have that precious child give her something with a nanny cam. I'm not sure how expensive they are but they do work. I personally would have stomped that *****'s @$$ if it was my kid involved. But I must praise you for the way you handled it. Good luck to you and I pray you win this.