If a person is falsely accused of child abuse and it results in losing their job, will that person have reduced child support or none at all?

This has not happened, but is being threatened by almost ex-wife. She probably doesn't realize that if I do not have a job, the child support will be null to void.

In my line of work, even an allegation of child abuse may and probably would result in termination.

Any ideas?

If a person is falsely accused of child abuse and it results in losing their job, will that person have reduced child support or none at all?

This has not happened, but is being threatened by almost ex-wife. She probably doesn't realize that if I do not have a job, the child support will be null to void.

In my line of work, even an allegation of child abuse may and probably would result in termination.

Any ideas?
No, because you would still be deemed to have the ability to find employment. Your income would be imputed based on your past tax returns, and it will be up to you to find employment in order to pay your support.

But if she is the one who CAUSES me to lose my job, then she should be the one who pays for it. Her allegations are FALSE.

But if she is the one who CAUSES me to lose my job, then she should be the one who pays for it. Her allegations are FALSE.
Sorry, that argument is not going to fly. The fact is that you will have lost your job over something that was in your control. You have the ability to go to your boss and tell him, "look, this is what is going on," to try to mitigate damage. If nothing else, you may be put on leave until everything is settled one way or the other, if you would lose your job over this. You do have the ability to find other work, in the meantime, if leave is not permitted. No matter what the other parent does, it does NOT give you an out from paying to support your kids.

BTW, your posts come across as trying to find anything you can to screw over your soon to be ex, and the kids that you say she has poisoned against you. I don't care if you despise them, you contributed 50% to this mess, and you still have to support them. If I were you, I would focus on what you can do to prepare to care for them, and let go of all of the other crap you are doing to each other. It is obvious that you have still not learned to deal appropriately with your anger.

and if your child support is already court ordered at a certain amount you still have to pay that amount. My childs father tried that, he put down that he didnt work but at the same time he put down that when he did work he made $7.00 an hour so off they went and calculated his support at 7.00 an hour. When he found out it was because he admitted to what he was capable of making and that it couldve been off of mimimum wage (which was 5.40 at the time) he was FURIOUS!!!! I dont know why he was mad... $365 a month for one child, only court ordered, never actually paid is not even that much.... ( I guess if you are VOLUNTARILY UNEMPLOYED and your girlfriend pays all the bills it is, but no you still have to financially provide for the children. THey do not play, if you end up in court for nonpayment they will even tell you right there...."go and pawn that necklace you have on and so forth". Especially if it goes through your state department, It would be a long time before it got there but they give no slack once you end up there.....

If I lose the job, and theoretically cannot find another in that same field (teaching), then the support should not be based on the previous income tax filings. Regardless, thanks for the counseling session, Mommy, what do I owe you?

It was free of charge, isnt she great?

If I lose the job, and theoretically cannot find another in that same field (teaching), then the support should not be based on the previous income tax filings. Regardless, thanks for the counseling session, Mommy, what do I owe you?
A serious attitude adjustment for one. I will settle for you staying away from your kids who you HAVE traumatized by hitting their mother and thinking kids need to be whipped to be properly raised. Nobody said you had to get a different job in the teaching field, and frankly, I sincerely pray you don't. You have NO business being around children. You got your answers. Have a nice day.

It was free of charge, isnt she great?
Thank you. :) That was nice to hear.

Nope, can't get out of supporting your children. Check your states laws, but in ours, support is based on the average of the last three years, unless you recently took a job that pays >30% over the prior year. They might lessen it if you are unemployed at the time of your hearing and used to be a blacksmith or something (limited job opportunities in your field of experience in your area).

Honestly, not to be mean, but your post makes me wonder about you.

The money, yes, goes to the ex (and that may be causing the tone of your posts cause I can pretty much tell there is alot of animosity between you) but it is used (unless your ex is someone who is a drug addict, or prefers living under a bridge with your kids, and dumpster diving for food) to provide for your children. Unless you were or are a pro athlete or some mega rich industrialist, I have never heard of anyone getting rich off of child support.

You have to, and I cannot stress this enough, you have to separate what you battle about because there are 4 of you involved. Not just you and your ex. She wants alimony....be pissed and fight about that. She wants the house......be pissed and fight about that. She wants half of your retirement.....be pissed and fight about that.

If she ends up with primary custody of your kids, she will be the one that recieves the check that helps to take care of them. Your kids, not just hers.

You will never get close to any kind of relationship with your girls if you continue with this path. They will think that you don't care about them. You may very well never mention the details of what is going on between you and your ex to your girls, but who is to say that she isn't giving them a play by play of your hostility. Even if neither of you are doing these things, your kids are 11 and 17, and if you think they can't see it for themselves, you and your ex are making a terrible mistake.

This is really going to sound stupid but I think you're on the verge of losing it and I wish I could just reach out and give you a hug. (if that would make any difference)

It won't affect CS. However, though it is a VERY steep burden of proof, if you can effectively prove to the court that the accusations were knowingly and falsely made and caused you harm (e.g. directly contributed to loss of job). AND whether true or untrue, it would be up to you to prove to court's satisfaction that no reasonable person could conclude it were true given the circumstances. She might not be able to prove you abused a child, but to prove liable you would have to prove that it could not happen and no reasonalbe person could conclude that it had. If you were able to prove liable, then of course you could go after damages, etc. These cases are not wildly successful as you can imagine.

It won't affect CS. However, though it is a VERY steep burden of proof, if you can effectively prove to the court that the accusations were knowingly and falsely made and caused you harm (e.g. directly contributed to loss of job). AND whether true or untrue, it would be up to you to prove to court's satisfaction that no reasonable person could conclude it were true given the circumstances. She might not be able to prove you abused a child, but to prove liable you would have to prove that it could not happen and no reasonalbe person could conclude that it had. If you were able to prove liable, then of course you could go after damages, etc. These cases are not wildly successful as you can imagine.
Especially since he does have a history of domestic violence with the soon to be ex.

"Nobody said you had to get a different job in the teaching field, and frankly, I sincerely pray you don't. You have NO business being around children"

I already AM a teacher and that is exactly what I'm talking about. If she makes these ridiculous allegations, I would NOT be able to find ANY job in the teaching field. If there is even an INVESTIGATION for child abuse, the person is suspended or terminated. UGH, why do I try to explain these things.

Thank you AKBuyer for some good advice and thank you OhioMom.

And furthermore, Mommyof4, in a different thread you said your husband makes dinner when he gets home from work because he knows how hard you work. HA! Does sitting on the internet all day count as hard work? Go do some housework.

"Nobody said you had to get a different job in the teaching field, and frankly, I sincerely pray you don't. You have NO business being around children"

I already AM a teacher and that is exactly what I'm talking about. If she makes these ridiculous allegations, I would NOT be able to find ANY job in the teaching field. If there is even an INVESTIGATION for child abuse, the person is suspended or terminated. UGH, why do I try to explain these things.

Thank you AKBuyer for some good advice and thank you OhioMom.

Then you should have thought about that before you gave her the grounds to make these statements. And, yes, you did. Even if you never hit your kids, they saw you and their mother physically fighting. That can be just a devestating and abusive as being physically punched. Sometimes, it's easier to just take the hit. You have said that the ex knew how to push your buttons, so SHE pushed you into physical fights. In reality, you should have known to walk away from her before it got to that point.

And furthermore, Mommyof4, in a different thread you said your husband makes dinner when he gets home from work because he knows how hard you work. HA! Does sitting on the internet all day count as hard work? Go do some housework.
It does when I have some time to myself. My house is already clean. Does *****ing about horrible,whiny kids show what a wonderful, loving father and teacher you are? How about hitting a woman?

Then you should have thought about that before you gave her the grounds to make these statements. And, yes, you did. Even if you never hit your kids, they saw you and their mother physically fighting. That can be just a devestating and abusive as being physically punched. Sometimes, it's easier to just take the hit. You have said that the ex knew how to push your buttons, so SHE pushed you into physical fights. In reality, you should have known to walk away from her before it got to that point.

And this is not a personal attack on you wash dad but the courts will see it this way. Yelling and hitting someone else in front of your kids is abuse. Both of you are guilty of this... there is no reason in the world that a grown man (or woman) should not have been able to get up and walk out of the room before he physically struck anyone (especially the kids mother) in front of them. You may not like what you are hearing but its the truth.

And furthermore, Mommyof4, in a different thread you said your husband makes dinner when he gets home from work because he knows how hard you work. HA! Does sitting on the internet all day count as hard work? Go do some housework.

hard work doesnt mean physical labor buddy. helllllo- she has 4 kids... if you ever took care of your kids then you would realize it's not easy work.
she is giving good advice to people who need it... she takes time to research laws and what not... she should be paid for all of the replies she makes.
you have taken some of her advice and counseling as well... (so i would not talk)... which you obviously need to pay for... since you are not grateful.
i dont know 1 therapist in this world who would ever counsel you.
you are too closed-minded for anyone to ever deal with. you need to realize your flaws and attributes and try to fix them immediately before trying to FIGHT and condescend everyone!!!

Okay, I take back the hug and now am seeing the true you. An angry, bitter, hostile PATHETIC person.

You come in attacking people when all they are doing is giving you THEIR TIME. They are giving you THEIR ATTENTION. They are trying to HELP YOU with, for the most part, VERY SOUND ADVICE.

If you act this way in your every day life, DAMN STRAIGHT I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TEACHING MY CHILDREN ANYTHING.

If you act this way in front of your kids, SHE SHOULD GET SOLE CUSTODY.

If this is the kind of husband you were, SHE SOULD GET THE HOUSE, ALL VEHICLES, YOUR RETIREMENT, ALL SAVINGS, ALIMONY, AND THE MAXIMUM CHILD SUPPORT THE LAW ALLOWS, as REPARATIONS for living with an ASSHOLE LIKE YOU!

Do yourself and all of us a favor and check yourself into the hospital for a 72 hour hold for danger to self and others. Cause you are acting like a crazy *** psycho.

I could tell this guy was a jerk from when he first wrote stuff to other ppl. I got yelled at in PM because I wrote a real mean message to him but I could tell because he's just like someone I know. Ok bye, going skating. :D

I hope you never get to see your kids, washington_jerk.

Mommy of 4, and everyone else, I apologize for my comments from earlier. I was out of line.

OhioMom, you're right about separating the divorce and problems with my wife, and supporting my children. It is wrong to have them be witness to our disagreements.

Mommy of 4, and everyone else, I apologize for my comments from earlier. I was out of line.

OhioMom, you're right about separating the divorce and problems with my wife, and supporting my children. It is wrong to have them be witness to our disagreements.
Okey doke... :)

Seriously, WD, are you in any kind of counseling now? It will help you, not only with the mess you and your ex are in, but also in YOUR personal dealings and coping with everyday life. It sounds like you are really on the edge as far as what you can handle on your own. Everybody here knows how stressful a custody battle can be. The uglier they are, the harder it is to deal. It puts stress on you when you are just dealing with everyday life. If not, you really should consider it. Even if things do not work out for you, (not saying they won't) it will still be great for you to have someone to just vent to.

Thank you for the kind reply, I really don't deserve it. I am not in counseling but I have realized I need it. I am not handling the stress well. In addition to the divorce/custody battle going on, I am caring for my terminally ill Father. I just lost my Mother 10 months ago. Lately it is just simply too much. I lose my temper much too easily, say things that are hurtful and mean and regret them immediately.

I really am sorry for the things I have said to you and others, I didn't deserve such a nice response but I certainly appreciate it. I really do not blame my kids for not wanting to see me, I am quite a miserable and bitter person lately.

Thank you for the kind reply, I really don't deserve it. I am not in counseling but I have realized I need it. I am not handling the stress well. In addition to the divorce/custody battle going on, I am caring for my terminally ill Father. I just lost my Mother 10 months ago. Lately it is just simply too much. I lose my temper much too easily, say things that are hurtful and mean and regret them immediately.

I really am sorry for the things I have said to you and others, I didn't deserve such a nice response but I certainly appreciate it. I really do not blame my kids for not wanting to see me, I am quite a miserable and bitter person lately.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother and the heartache of taking care of your father. You will feel so much better when you have someone to talk to you that will not judge you and help you find a way to handle these issues. I would also suggest that once you get into counseling, and feel ready, that you and your children attend family counseling. It sounds like there is a lot of hurt and anger on all sides. That needs to be healed for everybody's sake. The girls need their father, and you need your girls. It will just take time. Be patient with them and yourself.

Again, thank you so much. I feel very much alone in all of these issues going on. I think I will be contacting a counselor to talk through some of it before I seriously lose it. I desperately want to have the girls in my life and it's heart breaking that they do not want to be around me, but as I said, I do not blame them. It is my fault.

I do not like the person that I am lately. I need to make changes. It was very unfair of me to attack people here and take out my anger inappropriately. Bigsis and InBigTrouble, if either of you read this, I apologize for the private messages that were not very nice. I wrote them hastily before realizing the full situations. I sincerely am sorry.

I'm not nice like other ppl so don't even bother saying you are sorry to me cause I know you don't mean it. How many times do you have to say you are sorry???? I bet you have said that many times to your girls or your wife or whoever. You are JUST like my mom's bf and I could tell that by the way you talked to everyone. You think you are so much better then everyone else and you are always right, right??? You get mad real easy, get mean then say oh I'm so sorry, I won't EVER do that again. YEAH WHATEVER!! HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO SAY YOUR SORRY BEFORE YOU STOP BEING MEAN????????? I hate guys like you, you should not be a dad. Hate hate hate guys like you.

I'm not nice like other ppl so don't even bother saying you are sorry to me cause I know you don't mean it. How many times do you have to say you are sorry???? I bet you have said that many times to your girls or your wife or whoever. You are JUST like my mom's bf and I could tell that by the way you talked to everyone. You think you are so much better then everyone else and you are always right, right??? You get mad real easy, get mean then say oh I'm so sorry, I won't EVER do that again. YEAH WHATEVER!! HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO SAY YOUR SORRY BEFORE YOU STOP BEING MEAN????????? I hate guys like you, you should not be a dad. Hate hate hate guys like you.


Well, I guess you won't accept the apology and I need to get off of here and get some work done, but I will help you with your grammar since it apparently needs some work. "better THAN everyone else" and "mad REALLY EASILY" and "YOU'RE" not "YOUR". :) Have a good night sweet child.

I wish so much that I was perfect like you. You know what will be perfect? Perfect will be when your wife divorces you and gets married to a NICE guy. Think how perfect for your kids to have a NICE "DAD" at home when they come home from school. Think how perfect to have nice "DAD" that they can talk to who doesn't yell at them or hit their mom. Think how perfect that their new "DAD" will be at their birthday parties. That will be perfect. Have a nice night sweet dad.

And the other thing, yeah you have some bad stuff with your sick dad and stuff, but you said in the other post that you got arrested 10 YEARS ago, so was he sick that long or what was the reason THEN???????

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I hate hate hate guys like you.

BigSis, don't let him get to you. He has some anger issues and anything directed at you is not REALLY directed at you. Don't let him upset you. How are YOU doing? How is your sister?

Big Sis, sometimes people say and do things when the are feeling so overwehlmed with life. He apologized, it is up to you whether you want to forgive him or not. Life is much easier when you can move on after someone angers you. You don't have to like him, but don't waste time and energy hanging on to anger. It only bogs you down.

How IS your sister? I hope everything is going well.

I try to forgive him and then hes mean all over again. I know he's just like my mom's bf totally. My sister is doing ok and so am I. I'm babysitting her until tomorrow night. They went out of town to a wedding. Anyway, I won't post anymore mean stuff but this washington dad guy makes me mad. I gotta go and make her eat food she wouldnt eat breakfast or supper last night. Ok, bye.

And furthermore, Mommyof4, in a different thread you said your husband makes dinner when he gets home from work because he knows how hard you work. HA! Does sitting on the internet all day count as hard work? Go do some housework.


You don't need to direct your anger at her, she is telling you the answers to what you wanted to know. And yes, it is hard work, there are people out there that cant afford lawyers right away. What she does is a service to everyone, that she some day will be rewarded for.

PS Not evertime are you terminated because of an alligation. If you signed a contract like that it is your own doing. Most teacher contracts the teacher is made to take leave until the case goes one way or another. Then if your proven guilty then you are terminated.

how do i start my own thread

how do i start my own thread


click new thread at the top of the screen that lists the threads

how do i start my own thread
top left hand corner of a forum....click new thread :)

" Did I miss something here with mommyof4 and WashingtonDad?" Were there other threads? Mommyof4..... how did you know he abused his wife? He didn't say anything to that effect!!! Are you a computer hacker? :cool:
PS... YOUR CAT, KNOT

" Did I miss something here with mommyof4 and WashingtonDad?" Were there other threads? Mommyof4..... how did you know he abused his wife? He didn't say anything to that effect!!! Are you a computer hacker? :cool:
PS... YOUR CAT, KNOT
It's on other threads. One he started and one he responded to. But, we have now made up, so I am not going to say anything else about this unless he specifically asks for more help.

Thank you for the kind reply, I really don't deserve it. I am not in counseling but I have realized I need it. I am not handling the stress well. In addition to the divorce/custody battle going on, I am caring for my terminally ill Father. I just lost my Mother 10 months ago. Lately it is just simply too much. I lose my temper much too easily, say things that are hurtful and mean and regret them immediately.

I really am sorry for the things I have said to you and others, I didn't deserve such a nice response but I certainly appreciate it. I really do not blame my kids for not wanting to see me, I am quite a miserable and bitter person lately. Hey guy, I lost my mother also. It was the most painful hurt i will ever experience. Yes i was angry, spiteful and mean, but then i held on to my children and that kept me together, although it took me awhile to realize that. Try to remember that one day your kids will lose you also, so you got to be the best you can be until that time! Stay up bro!!!!

It's on other threads. One he started and one he responded to. But, we have now made up, so I am not going to say anything else about this unless he specifically asks for more help. I know what i wanted to ask you. What the heck is hook em horns?

Has anyone here ever heard the phrase "Gettin' all up in someone else's kool-aid without even knowin' what flavor it is."?

I know what i wanted to ask you. What the heck is hook em horns?
University of Texas, baby! You know, the NCAA Football Champs?! One of the greatest games I ever watched. I waited for YEARS to see Texas bring home another championship. I'm a rabid Horns fan. My husband is an Ohio State fan. Yeah, it gets ugly in the fall at our house. The first thing I taught my son to say was "Hook 'Em" complete with the horn hand gesture, and everything! It's the cutest thing. :D

Has anyone here ever heard the phrase "Gettin' all up in someone else's kool-aid without even knowin' what flavor it is."?
I haven't heard it put that way, but I can guess what it means. :D I will have to remember that to tell my duaghter.

I wish so much that I was perfect like you. You know what will be perfect? Perfect will be when your wife divorces you and gets married to a NICE guy. Think how perfect for your kids to have a NICE "DAD" at home when they come home from school. Think how perfect to have nice "DAD" that they can talk to who doesn't yell at them or hit their mom. Think how perfect that their new "DAD" will be at their birthday parties. That will be perfect. Have a nice night sweet dad.

And the other thing, yeah you have some bad stuff with your sick dad and stuff, but you said in the other post that you got arrested 10 YEARS ago, so was he sick that long or what was the reason THEN???????

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I hate hate hate guys like you. C' mon...really, do you know this guy personally? Let me ask you this. What would you say if i told you that i just find a way to make love to my woman when she gets mad at me? Thats better than fighting...right?

University of Texas, baby! You know, the NCAA Football Champs?! One of the greatest games I ever watched. I waited for YEARS to see Texas bring home another championship. I'm a rabid Horns fan. My husband is an Ohio State fan. Yeah, it gets ugly in the fall at our house. The first thing I taught my son to say was "Hook 'Em" complete with the horn hand gesture, and everything! It's the cutest thing. :D Well, texas aint been that tough! But i know you, at least on this site! Guess who will be the champs this season....it aint going to be southwest. Better look further east.... BABY!

I haven't heard it put that way, but I can guess what it means. :D I will have to remember that to tell my duaghter. She means " all up in my grill!"

C' mon...really, do you know this guy personally? Let me ask you this. What would you say if i told you that i just find a way to make love to my woman when she gets mad at me? Thats better than fighting...right?

How old are you? Not only is this a completely inappropriate statement to a 15 or 16 year old, but has nothing to do with her being upset with Washington_Dad.

If you feel the need to assert your manhood again, please do it elsewhere. Bigsis really doesn't need that, especially right now. Thanks.

How old are you? Not only is this a completely inappropriate statement to a 15 or 16 year old, but has nothing to do with her being upset with Washington_Dad.

If you feel the need to assert your manhood again, please do it elsewhere. Bigsis really doesn't need that, especially right now. Thanks. Sorry, didnt know that kids were involved, thought this was a grown up conversation!!! Why is that 15 or 16 yr old talkin like that anyway? huh boota??

Sorry, didnt know that kids were involved, thought this was a grown up conversation!!! Why is that 15 or 16 yr old talkin like that anyway? huh boota??

Talking like what? Like someone upset with another poster that was harsh with them?

YOU are the one who brought your sexually-charged, inappropriate gutter talk into the conversation. Next time leave it at the door and try to be helpful instead.

This is not the forum to take your big stick and start stirring up trouble - plenty of other places for you to do that.

No I don't know him personally. I posted the stuff I did because he was so mean to some other people and then he was so rude to me in PM and I can tell what kind of guy he is. I should have just thought it and not type it. I don't know what you making love to your wife has to do with what I wrote.

Talking like what? Like someone upset with another poster that was harsh with them?

YOU are the one who brought your sexually-charged, inappropriate gutter talk into the conversation. Next time leave it at the door and try to be helpful instead.

This is not the forum to take your big stick and start stirring up trouble - plenty of other places for you to do that. You are way out of your league boota. First off, make love, kiss and make up, hold each other instead of fighting is something grown ups understand. are you one of us? Secondly, what does a 15yr old know about? Maybe you can answer that one!!! Little kids should STAY out of big kids conversations!!! I speak simple too you because you're juvenile....BUT, if you want, i can use bigger WORDS!! I dont need a STICK!!! :mad:

You are way out of your league boota. First off, make love, kiss and make up, hold each other instead of fighting is something grown ups understand. are you one of us? Secondly, what does a 15yr old know about? Maybe you can answer that one!!! Little kids should STAY out of big kids conversations!!! I speak simple too you because you're juvenile....BUT, if you want, i can use bigger WORDS!! I dont need a STICK!!! :mad:

Thanks for proving my point for me.

She is talking about me, I'm 15. I would have stayed out of his business if he didn't pm me and be such a jerk. OhioMom, did you mean me about getting all up in his Koolaid? I know I should have just said what I wanted in pm. Sorry.

Thanks for proving my point for me. you are sooooo welcome!

Its my fault, don't fight please.

Actually, this "fight" is a mix up on who is posting what. Everybody just chill out a minute. Knot, you didn't realize that you were posting a response to a 15 year old girl. Booba was not happy about your response to a child. Big sis, Ohio 'step' mom wasn't talking to you. And I STILL love University of Texas Football. Now, everybody hug and make up! :D :D

And Boobatuba...I crack up at your name, and it is hillarious to type!

LOL Mommy, you are great. Hugggggs

Actually, this "fight" is a mix up on who is posting what. Everybody just chill out a minute. Knot, you didn't realize that you were posting a response to a 15 year old girl. Booba was not happy about your response to a child. Big sis, Ohio 'step' mom wasn't talking to you. And I STILL love University of Texas Football. Now, everybody hug and make up! :D :D

And Boobatuba...I crack up at your name, and it is hillarious to type! If i ever need an attorney,,, you are the one...much love lil sis!! Sorry again boota!!! and Sorry big sis, or lil sis :) Mommyof4, if texas and ohio state ever play in the championship together, i promise that i will pay for the whole day and the game tickets!! Yes i think i will remember my promise! Keep up the good work!

Actually, this "fight" is a mix up on who is posting what. Everybody just chill out a minute. Knot, you didn't realize that you were posting a response to a 15 year old girl. Booba was not happy about your response to a child. Big sis, Ohio 'step' mom wasn't talking to you. And I STILL love University of Texas Football. Now, everybody hug and make up! :D :D

And Boobatuba...I crack up at your name, and it is hillarious to type!

This is the excact reason that minors should ONLY be allowed to post questions. There is absolutely no reason they shoud be allowed to post on any thread other than their own or be able to access the PM feature.

As to the ORIGINAL question,

(1) Losing ones job, even when you feel as though the other party is at fault, will not have any effect on child support.

(2) You can't be fired for an ACCUSATION alone. If you are, you have grounds for a wrongful termination suit. They CAN put you on administrative leave until the investigation is complete.

(3) The OP does NOT have a legally established pattern of abuse. One police report a decade ago does not a pattern make.

(4) It has been legally established that a person that abuses a spouse is not automatically labeled an unfit parent.

(5) False claims of child abuse during a divorce or custody case carries VERY serious consequences. The court is not going to assume that the allegations are true because mom says it is.

(6) Claims of spousal abuse and child abuse are the most common FALSE claims in divorce and custody cases. Judges do take them VERY seriously, but they must be PROVEN before it would have any impact on the ruling.

I'm in no way trying to defend WD or excuse his past behavior. (He is lucky that he was not married to me. There is no way in hell it would have gone on for 10 YEARS. I would have made sure that he lived up to the whole "til death do us part" promise YEARS ago.) I am only pointing out the how things will be seen as far as the LAW is concerned.

I am also quite surprised at some of the replies here. How many times has a MOTHER come here asking how to keep dad away because he used to abuse her when they were together? The normal answer to them is

"You chose to stay with him all those years and now you have to live with the consequences."

"He is their father and he has a right to have a relationship with his children no matter what his history with YOU is."

In other words, when a MOTHER tries to keep the children away from dad by using spousal abuse as the reason, most of the members actually DEFEND the father's right to see the kids, yet when a father comes here and actually owns up to his bad actions and tries to atone for his past, he is treated as a pariah.

Damn, I missed the party!

Ceara, I'm sorry for posting on his question. It was wrong. I won't post anything anymore. Thanks.

Ceara, I'm sorry for posting on his question. It was wrong. I won't post anything anymore. Thanks.

Posting questions that you need answered is not a problem. In fact, if you need an answer, it is better to ask than to assume. But when it comes to advising others, especially adults, it is best to just observe.

You have shown a great deal of maturity and good judgement in many of the posts you have written. But it is not outwardly obvious that you are a minor outside of your thread. Plus, the MAJORITY of teens here are NOT mature or knowledgeable about the issues that they reply to. They also have a problem listening to anything they don't WANT to hear and they become very argumentative on subjects that they are COMPLETLY WRONG about (none of those apply to YOU as far as I know).

The easy solution would be to limit access to minors. Even though a "maturity test" would weed out many of the stupid adults too. But unfortunately, that's not practical.

At the very least, some sort of obvious indication that the member is a minor would help to curtail responses that could be perfectly acceptable for an adult but totally inappropriate for a minor (which is what has happened here).

So please don't take what I said personally. Please keep reading, learning and asking questions. Just make sure that you make it clear to everyone that you are a minor.

Thank you Ceara. I won't post on any other posts that are not mine. But I guess that's what I'm doing right now.

Thank you Ceara. I won't post on any other posts that are not mine. But I guess that's what I'm doing right now.

Now everyone knows who you are. Even though I really believe what I said about minors posting on others thread as a general rule, I think you could be very helpful to other teenagers. The majority of teenagers will listen to another teen as opposed to adults. If you start with something along the lines of "As a fellow teenager" or "being a teenager myself" there won't be any confusion concerning you age.

Wow, I didn't think this thread would still be active. I haven't checked in for a few days.

Ceara, I agree. Kick the damn kids out of here so the adults can have a conversation.

Bigsis, If you don't want to accept my apology, that is your damn problem. Go back to your *happy* life and leave my threads alone. PERIOD! You may want to take some typing and grammar classes over the summer also. You appear to be failing miserably. I tried to be nice and ask about your situation and if you needed help and you declined. If you don't want help, then it obviously is not as bad as you're making it out to be. Or maybe you're outright lying like most kids these days. Get a hobby and quit lying and complaining about how horrible your life is!

Wow, I didn't think this thread would still be active. I haven't checked in for a few days.

Ceara, I agree. Kick the damn kids out of here so the adults can have a conversation.

Bigsis, If you don't want to accept my apology, that is your damn problem. Go back to your *happy* life and leave my threads alone. PERIOD! You may want to take some typing and grammar classes over the summer also. You appear to be failing miserably. I tried to be nice and ask about your situation and if you needed help and you declined. If you don't want help, then it obviously is not as bad as you're making it out to be. Or maybe you're outright lying like most kids these days. Get a hobby and quit lying and complaining about how horrible your life is!

Wa Dad, I have to ask. Are you for real or are you just stirring the pot? Your temperament goes from nasty to cordial to nasty faster than anything I've ever seen. It makes me wonder if you're just stirring up trouble for the fun of it.

No, I'm not "stirring up trouble", I am just sick and tired of trying to find valuable information while having to wade through post after post from kids who are tired of following rules. Emancipate them ALL at 15 and let them find out what the real world is like. No assistance, no welfare, no help. Then we would see them all come running home after they realized that they don't have it so bad at home. I'm sure there wouldn't be 10,000 threads about how terrible life is. Tough love is what they need, boot 'em out.

Bigsis has never said anything about being tired of following rules. She is concerned for her sister who may be being abused. I see you responded to her post so you shouldve seen that. Washington Dad your user name whould be MAD Dad because you are angry. You go from nice to angry in minutes and always come back and aplogize later realizing you said things you should not have, I can not diagnose you as an abuser but this is typical abuser behavior and you are an adult, being an adult you should not get THAT mad over something that someone (especially a 15 year old) on the internet is saying..... Stop being so angry, you are taking years off of your life!!!!

Wow, I didn't think this thread would still be active. I haven't checked in for a few days.

Ceara, I agree. Kick the damn kids out of here so the adults can have a conversation.

Bigsis, If you don't want to accept my apology, that is your damn problem. Go back to your *happy* life and leave my threads alone. PERIOD! You may want to take some typing and grammar classes over the summer also. You appear to be failing miserably. I tried to be nice and ask about your situation and if you needed help and you declined. If you don't want help, then it obviously is not as bad as you're making it out to be. Or maybe you're outright lying like most kids these days. Get a hobby and quit lying and complaining about how horrible your life is!


There you go again. Do you not get enough of abusing people? Is it possible for to maintain a level head in any situation? Have you ever given a minute's thought to anyone else's feelings, other than your own?

Can you possibly conceive of the notion that having a teenager posting on your particular thread give you any insight into how your daughter thinks, and that BigSis could, in that regard, help you to understand and have a better relationship with your OWN daughter's?

It gives me insight into how you might be treating your own daughter's and if this is how you relate to your own daughter's, they might be better off with their mother.

It also makes me question whether or not you are in the right profession, being a teacher and all. If this is how you were to treat my child in your classroom, you wouldn't have to worry about your wife causing you to get fired. I'd be in the front of the school picketing for your resignation and or termination IN A HEARTBEAT. I sincerely doubt I would be alone on the picket line.

Are you an untreated Bipolar with rapidly cycling moods changes?

Did my grammatical style meet to your liking?

There you go again. Do you not get enough of abusing people? Is it possible for to maintain a level head in any situation? Have you ever given a minute's thought to anyone else's feelings, other than your own?

Can you possibly conceive of the notion that having a teenager posting on your particular thread give you any insight into how your daughter thinks, and that BigSis could, in that regard, help you to understand and have a better relationship with your OWN daughter's?

It gives me insight into how you might be treating your own daughter's and if this is how you relate to your own daughter's, they might be better off with their mother.

It also makes me question whether or not you are in the right profession, being a teacher and all. If this is how you were to treat my child in your classroom, you wouldn't have to worry about your wife causing you to get fired. I'd be in the front of the school picketing for your resignation and or termination IN A HEARTBEAT. I sincerely doubt I would be alone on the picket line.

Are you an untreated Bipolar with rapidly cycling moods changes?

Did my grammatical style meet to your liking?

Well, no actually it does not. "Daughter's" should be "daughters" since it is not showing possessive, it is just indicating plural.

I am giving thought to their feelings, but I think most of the kids on here need some tough love. If they are not going to follow the advice, then why do they post. One after another of whining and crying about how bad their life it.

Kids these days have no idea what a 'hard life' is. They need to get a clue. And no, I don't believe I can gain any insight about my relationship with my daughters from any of the kids here. Most of them are posting about having sex, terrible lives, wanting to move in with their boyfriends. The only insight I have gained is that my girls will need stricter rules so they are not out tramping around and getting pregnant and then claiming they "didn't want to do it." Or posting b.s. about being in love with an adult, and then as soon as they catch some grief they cry abuse. "Oh he made me do it, Oh I was fooled by him." My girls would be damn sorry if they ever came to me with that line of b.s. After seeing all the garbage the kids are posting on here, I KNOW they all need more supervision. All of these kids need a wake up call and soon.

This is a quote of what Washington Dad posted to Big Sis's thread this morning.


It's pretty amazing that you can find the time to post on my threads but cannot answer the questions asked here about your sister. I think you are probably just another teenager who is sick of rules at home and are trying to make your home life seem horrible to get some pity or something. Have you done anything about the situation? Have you followed the advice of anyone here?? If not, why?? Is it because it's not as bad as you want everyone to think? 99% of the time, if kids would just obey their parents, there wouldn't be problems at home. I'm sure your sister, if you even really have one, is fine. You're imagining those things just to cause trouble. Go study or something



WD you have some serious F'D UP problems if you are now going around the site, CHASING DOWN A 15 YO, to abuse in her own thread. If this is what you post to a public thread, I can't imagine what you sent to her in a PM.


You, by far are the most pathetic, abusive, and obnoxious person I have come across in quite some time.

Go get a life, grow a set "or something."

I am giving thought to their feelings, but I think most of the kids on here need some tough love. If they are not going to follow the advice, then why do they post. One after another of whining and crying about how bad their life it.


did you mean "life is" not "life it?" HA!!!!

p.s. tough love is NOT emancipating your children at 15 or "booting 'em out"!

why did you EVER have children?
AND why the HELL did you ever become a teacher if you despise children?!?!?!

Well, no actually it does not. "Daughter's" should be "daughters" since it is not showing possessive, it is just indicating plural.

I am giving thought to their feelings, but I think most of the kids on here need some tough love. If they are not going to follow the advice, then why do they post. One after another of whining and crying about how bad their life it.

Kids these days have no idea what a 'hard life' is. They need to get a clue. And no, I don't believe I can gain any insight about my relationship with my daughters from any of the kids here. Most of them are posting about having sex, terrible lives, wanting to move in with their boyfriends. The only insight I have gained is that my girls will need stricter rules so they are not out tramping around and getting pregnant and then claiming they "didn't want to do it." Or posting b.s. about being in love with an adult, and then as soon as they catch some grief they cry abuse. "Oh he made me do it, Oh I was fooled by him." My girls would be damn sorry if they ever came to me with that line of b.s. After seeing all the garbage the kids are posting on here, I KNOW they all need more supervision. All of these kids need a wake up call and soon.


Yes, I'm sure that BigSis finds it some fabulously fun game to come here and post about being abused by her mother's boyfriend, and her little sister being tormented by him.

You know what. It is not their jobs, as children, to know what a "hard life" is. It is our job as their parents (and teacher's) to guide them, protect them and teach them how to deal with 'real life'.

Your "hard life" is because you are in it. Butt out of her's.

This is a quote of what Washington Dad posted to Big Sis's thread this morning.


It's pretty amazing that you can find the time to post on my threads but cannot answer the questions asked here about your sister. I think you are probably just another teenager who is sick of rules at home and are trying to make your home life seem horrible to get some pity or something. Have you done anything about the situation? Have you followed the advice of anyone here?? If not, why?? Is it because it's not as bad as you want everyone to think? 99% of the time, if kids would just obey their parents, there wouldn't be problems at home. I'm sure your sister, if you even really have one, is fine. You're imagining those things just to cause trouble. Go study or something



WD you have some serious F'D UP problems if you are now going around the site, CHASING DOWN A 15 YO, to abuse in her own thread. If this is what you post to a public thread, I can't imagine what you sent to her in a PM.


You, by far are the most pathetic, abusive, and obnoxious person I have come across in quite some time.

Go get a life, grow a set or something.


I saw that too and its amazing how he is talking about her doing something and he does it himself and he is an adult. He apparently has some issues, it has been made very obvious in his previous posts, he is the typical abuser making excuses for his and other abusers' behaviors. If he gets this mad and goes off on strangers one can only imagine the things he says to the people he is close to when he is angered by something they have done.

You are right and I was out of line. I have removed that reply to her. I am sorry and I will not be posting anything else until I can get my life in order and my emotions under control.

Washington Dad I think you are time bomb, seriously.....I agree with Mommyof4, you need to talk to someone. I know you dont want them to be but I bet your kids are afraid of you and how you react to them. Even if you dont outright strike tham physically Im not thinking you are very inviting either. Do it for your relationship for them if you wont do it for yourself right now. If you as an adult grown man are feeling all this hatred and emotion from the divorce imagine what your girls feel being stuck in the middle when all they have ever known is their Mom and Dad together and now this no longer exists. I am sure they are scared and overwhelmed.....

Even though I really believe what I said about minors posting on others thread as a general rule, I think you could be very helpful to other teenagers. The majority of teenagers will listen to another teen as opposed to adults. If you start with something along the lines of "As a fellow teenager" or "being a teenager myself" there won't be any confusion concerning you age.

Thanks for the nice compliment Ceara. If I post on any other threads I will put that. I won't say anything bad about stuff that was said here about me because I am trying to more mature than that. Plus, I probably will make a grammatical error. :D

Thanks for the nice compliment Ceara. If I post on any other threads I will put that. I won't say anything bad about stuff that was said here about me because I am trying to more mature than that. Plus, I probably will make a grammatical error. :D

That alone make you more mature then many adults! (Myself included at times.)