child support.... should be called adult support [Archive]

xena

05-19-2006, 09:22 PM

They don't care. My son wears glasses . Or should . I went in on it with Dad and bought him the first pair, 300 dollars later, and he broke them. Kids, you know? So I went in with my mom and got another pair. Goes to dad's one weekend and doesn't come home with them. Dad doesn't seem to know where they are!!! Claims they have searched the house up and down. how a kid loses his glasses in 2 days is beyond me, but whatever.So he has gone without glasses now for about 3 months and his eyes are getting worse rather quickly . i have asked Dad to even just go in on a new pair because I can't afford another on my own . Nope. He isn't doing it.He already paid for 1/2 of one pair , and that is all he is doing. I have tried to explain to him that the kid is getting headaches and can't see at all . Doesn't care. My point is, that people, men and women I suppose, are so selfish these days!!! He drives around in a 2006 $40,000 vehicle, and always has new clothes. I think that he just figures that I will take care of it anyhow if he doesn't, so he doesn't. Makes me sick. Trips whenever, new girlfriend every other month..... Why don't people realize or care that their kids are suffering so that they can live high on the hog (I'm from Iowa, excuse the expression!) No wonder our kids are so screwed up these days, heck half the parents are irresponsible. If they don't think that sets an example, I don't know what will.

Talk about being an irresponsible parent, your ex is not the only irresponsible parent your children have. You are too.
According to your own post above, just 1 month ago you recieved $2,000.00 from your ex. And you openly admit that your ex has paid for 1/2 of a set of glasses.
In this post you state that your son has been WITHOUT glasses for 3 months.

So, why in God's name didn't you spend just a little of that $2,000.00 on your son a new pair of glasses????? Do you not understand that CHILD support is legally supposed to used FOR THE CHILD'S NEEDS?????? That includes glasses if needed!

Don't misunderstand me, your ex is definately being irresponsible for not paying CS, however, you also have responsibilities to your children. One of those responsibilities is that you should fulfill your children's needs at the time the needs occur, instead of waiting for your ex to do it.

I know I'm being harsh, but you need to hear a dose of reality- you had the child support money available to buy the glasses, the fact that you have money of your own to pay attorney's is indicitive that you are not "dirt poor", you see that your son is suffering, so a responsible parent would have gotten new glasses within at least one month even if it meant not paying some of your own bills or needs or wants.

For your childrens' sakes, stop whining about what all thier father has, put aside your anger and bitterness and just concentrate on making sure that YOU meet your children's needs.

My suggestion: go to your CS enforcement agency to have them enforce the CS order. This way you can take the money you would spend on an attorney and spend it on your kids instead. BTW- You would also be able to spend more on your kids if you would stop hiring an attorney to try to take away your ex's visitation rights. http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?p=481564#post481564

Shopgirl75

05-22-2006, 12:24 PM

xena

05-22-2006, 07:02 PM

Um, ok. First of all, my child now has the glasses. The point was that he has not contributed anything, and had we not gotten the 2k, he still would not have them. It isn't from being irresponsible, it is called raising 3 kids on my own on next to nothing. His glasses are about $300.00 for a new pair. So when you start to judge me, think about how much it costs for all of our necessities, plus daycare, and let me know where I would just have $300.00 laying around for the 4th time. I can't tell you how many of my clothes are the wrong size, worn out, or from 10 years ago due to providing for my children first. As far as the private attorney, the only reason why I have him is becuase I went through Child Support recovery. And until you live in the state of Iowa and see the 2 years that it takes to get anywhere, don't judge me. I went that route, and it is a joke. And if they live in a state other than Iowa, forget it altogether. There are countless other mothers here that have the same problem. Luckily I was able to get money together from tax returns, borrowed money from parents, etc. I still owe my attorney thousands of dollars to this date. I am not whining about my ex, I am stating the true facts. I have never said one bad word about my ex to my kids in all of these years, actually quite the contrary. I always lie for him when he doesn't show up or call. I never tell my kids that he is an irresponsible piece of crap. I always smile and bear it. I am in no way, shape, or form irresponsible, and no one that knows me would ever think to say that about me. If you will notice, this thread was basically between 2 people, and you weren't one of them. I in no way need to defend myself to you or anyone else. How dare you.... Walk a mile in my worn out shoes and then maybe you can judge me.
It never ceases to amaze me how CPs like you suddenly change your story when someone points out realities to you. :rolleyes: But, if you want to deny your children thier needs and twist facts so that you will look like the victim, the sad truth is that the only ones you are hurting are your kids.

I strongly suspect that there is far more to to this than you are telling.
According to you, your ex hasn't paid a dime in CS for 6 years and that the $2,000.00 you got a month ago is the only CS he's paid in 6 yrs. I don't believe it- for these reason's:
1. Even in Iowa, a NCP whose whereabouts are known cannot get away with not paying ANY CS AT all for 6 yrs. I strongly suspect that the order hasn't been enforced because your ex is unable to pay due to disability or some other proven reason. I'm pretty sure that you taking him to court several times to stop visitation hasn't gone over too well with the court either (otherwise you would have been able to get the court to stop visitation). Basically, there has to be a good reason the CSE agency hasn't been able to enforce or collect for 6 yrs.

2. A NCP who does visit his kids and VOLUNTARILY pays for 1/2 of his son's glasses isn't the type to not pay a dime in CS for 6 yrs. In other words, a NCP who doesn't pay ANY CS almost always also does not visit his kids, much less pay for anything extra like glasses and most of them do not let the CP or CSE know of there whereabouts.

And yes, I have walked in your shoes- my oldest son's father did not always pay CS. I was strapped for money, however, unlike you, I did not spend money I couldn't afford to try to get the CS. Instead, I insisted that the court and CSE do thier job and I took the money I had and paid for my son's needs instead of an attorney. THAT is responsible parenting. My son is now 32 yrs old and has a very good relationship with his father, simply because I put my son's needs (both physical and emotional) first instead of waiting for his father to do it. I did without alot for myself, but I don't regeret a minute of it.
BTW- yes, my ex did pay off the arrears- when our son was 25 yrs old my ex offered to pay them to me, I refused and told him to send the money to our son for a down payment on a home. I wonder, will you be willing to do the same for your kids when thier father has to pay the arrears after they are grown?

You claim this thread was between 2 people, and they I wasn't one of them. So what? This is a public forum, everyone has the right to reply to posts. If you don't like hearing some truths about what YOU posted, then you shouldn't post on a public forum, it's that simple.

Shopgirl75

05-23-2006, 10:21 AM

first of all, he hasn't been made to pay because he is a private business owner and there is no paycheck to attach to. Long story beyond that in itself. This isn't your ordinary run of the mill child support case. I am very aware of the law as I deal with it almost daily. You don't know me, or anything about me. What you know is what you have read and that is a very minute amount of information to judge someone by. I do not spend money on anything frivolous, nor do I have to justify that to you. You took a conversation between 2 people, I do realize it is a public forum, and took the parts you wanted to construct your theories. Again, it is a public forum, and your opinions are as welcomed as mine. However, I don't feel that it was fair of you to jump in on a conversation and just decide to rip on one of the participants. You added no advice, nor anything positive what so ever. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. That is why the world is so interesting, everyone is different. I may have not always made the right decisions, but the decisions I made were because I thought to be doing the best thing. As I am sure millions do the same. I have not been irresponsible just because I could have done something different. I find it extremely unprofessional and feel badly that you feel you are so rightious as to throw stones in a public forum, unprovoked.

Rodulu

05-23-2006, 11:50 AM

Xena,

Just curious. If your son is grown (in his thirties), and your ex paid the back support, presumably to your son, why are you hanging around in a forum filled with parents trying to deal with ONGOING child custody/support issues? Just curious.

"2. A NCP who does visit his kids and VOLUNTARILY pays for 1/2 of his son's glasses isn't the type to not pay a dime in CS for 6 yrs. In other words, a NCP who doesn't pay ANY CS almost always also does not visit his kids, much less pay for anything extra like glasses and most of them do not let the CP or CSE know of there whereabouts."

If you were talking about a decent person, than the above statement might have a grain of truth to it. However, when you are dealing with the type of guy who will take his kids to Disneyland while telling their mother he can't afford to pay child support, there IS NO logical behavior.

My ex has done things like this on more occasions than I care to remember. And.... he is TWO years behind in child support, but because I was far to gullible, and he was far to insincere, and I was far too concerned about the emotional effect it would have on my kids for their father and I to do battle again, I didn't turn him in to DCSS until last October. THAT is how so many NCPs get behind - their ex's keep believing the promises, or live in fear of how it will affect the kids. Yeah, some NCP's are REALLY good and using THAT line of pressure to keep you from taking them to court. "How will I be able to pay you if I don't have a license? What will the kids think when they realize that mommy had daddy put in jail?" Yeah, there are those kinds of dads out there.

Your assumption that a dad who willingly pays for half of a pair of glasses (or any other such tangible item they can use to show what GREAT parents they are) are not the type to withhold child support offends me greatly. I've been dealing with just such a NCP for a LONG time, and I've busted my butt working two jobs at times to make sure my kids have what they need. And I shop for my work clothes at thrift stores too, like I'm sure a great many CP's do.

And one final note.... If you want to give YOUR money to your son, that is most certainly your prerogative, however, I - Me, Myself, and I, have come up with the necessary funds to pick up the slack - I have already PAID out that money, in the form of rent, food, clothing, educational needs, transportation, utilities, etc. That money is effectively a loan that I made to him, and it is due back into my account.

mommyof4

05-23-2006, 12:00 PM

Rodulu

05-23-2006, 12:08 PM

xena

05-23-2006, 05:45 PM

You added no advice, nor anything positive what so ever.

If you will please re-read the last paragraph in my first post, you'll notice that I did offer positive and helpful advice to you. If you don't like the advice I gave you have every right to ignore it, however, it is extremely unfair of you to state that I did not offer any advice. 'nuff said.
Xena

xena

05-23-2006, 06:00 PM

My apologies. In re-reading my post I realize I came off a bit harsh. O.K., more than a bit harsh. :(

I let my emotions get the best of me when I sensed someone in similar shoes as mine being attacked. I think that we've ALL been through a great deal with our various custody and support issues, and me being harsh towards Xena just added more negativity into the mix.

Xena, I'm sorry for my tone. Just a little thin skinned at the moment, and I should have stayed out of the discussion altogether. I hope you will accept my apology.

Apology accepted. :) mommyof4 answered correctly about why I post here. Not only have I been thru CS issues with my ex, the man I'm married to has had alot of CS issues with his ex. Because of this, in the last 5 yrs I have researched and learned alot about family law. I like to be able to help others with the knowledge I have gained, because as I'm sure you've already learned, no one who has real knowledge (CSE agency's, lawyers, and courts) don't do a dam thing about helping parents with learning thier rights.

Xena

paulaclugston

06-02-2006, 06:09 PM

I have been in the same place you all are I went to the cse in my state and filed a adminstating order on the exsisiting order with the help of my worker oh and believe me it wasnt easy to get them off there butts but they are there you can also go to your governor which I also did and believe me after 22 years of fighting with this deadbeat father I have got the cse working in my favor they can suspend any licenses that are issued by the state in which is his drivers license fishing and hunting license and any business licenses he may have and until he makes arrangements to poay on a reglar basas he does not get them back and the minute he quits paying the go again believe me I could be a worker for the child support enforcement for all they have put me thru but now I hold the trump card and I play it every time I have to call to get them to do there job DONT TAKE NO FOR A ANSWER or that theres nothing they can do because it doesnt take a lawyer to get you what is yours if the court ordered it it is your workers job to collect it and yu have to know what the law is and then it all will work for you cause without a drivers license they give the excuse they cant work so they reinstate them only after he makes a payment and signs a agreement that he will faithfully pay on a timely basis and if he doesnt they automatically get there priviledges taken away again and each time its a little more complicated to get them back hang in there and dont take no for a answer be informed on your own and then make them do there job..and then if they dont work for you there is a number for your governor and call and complained about what they are doing to you and you will be surprised at how easy it can be.. trust me been there and done it and just make your voice heard... GOOD LUCK keep in touch and if I can help you in any way email me and Ill be glad to lead you in the direction you need to go and answer any questions

paulaclugston

06-02-2006, 06:17 PM

[QUOTE=paulaclugston]I have been in the same place you all are I went to the cse in my state and filed a adminstating order on the exsisiting order with the help of my worker oh and believe me it wasnt easy to get them off there butts but they are there you can also go to your governor which I also did and believe me after 22 years of fighting with this deadbeat father I have got the cse working in my favor they can suspend any licenses that are issued by the state in which is his drivers license fishing and hunting license and any business licenses he may have and until he makes arrangements to poay on a reglar basas he does not get them back and the minute he quits paying the go again believe me I could be a worker for the child support enforcement for all they have put me thru but now I hold the trump card and I play it every time I have to call to get them to do there job DONT TAKE NO FOR A ANSWER or that theres nothing they can do because it doesnt take a lawyer to get you what is yours if the court ordered it it is your workers job to collect it and yu have to know what the law is and then it all will work for you cause without a drivers license they give the excuse they cant work so they reinstate them only after he makes a payment and signs a agreement that he will faithfully pay on a timely basis and if he doesnt they automatically get there priviledges taken away again and each time its a little more complicated to get them back hang in there and dont take no for a answer be informed on your own and then make them do there job..and then if they dont work for you there is a number for your governor and call and complained about what they are doing to you and you will be surprised at how easy it can be.. trust me been there and done it and just make your voice heard... GOOD LUCK keep in touch and if I can help you in any way email me and Ill be glad to lead you in the direction you need to go and answer any questions. I have made my sate work for me with alot of frustrating days of thinking hes gonna get away with this but believe me I made up my mind that I would win at any cost and I did and I fill that if more custodial parents would get more informed on there rights then they can use the system to work for them and get what is rightfully theres and there childrens..GOOD LUCK again GET INFORMED.....

Little_Weveek

06-05-2006, 11:33 PM

Well, I care, I just don't have the power to get the money you are owed. If it makes you feel any better, my ex is now 11,000 behind and has committed tax fraud and id theft using my daughter's ssn. That was a fun discovery.

WHAT happen to your ex with the TAX PROBLEMS???? I just got a letter from the IRS that I was going to be investigated because someone else had claimed one of my children on their tax return. THEY HELD MY TAX RETURN!!!!!!! When I spoke to someone in the office for treasury they told me that i would not be getting my return until this was fully investigated..... HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE!!!!

mommyof4

06-06-2006, 05:50 AM

It can take a good while. My ex tried to send me a check to cover the difference in the return, but I contacted CSE to see what to do with it, because when everything is investigated, I will have to send his portion of the tax return back because it was intercepted for past due child support. So, I'm just holding the check.

Tjane

06-06-2006, 12:12 PM

I dont know if I explained it well enough in the past post but the noncustodial dead beat in my case called child support enforcement and lied and said his address had changed due to a move, well at first they said they were going to try to verify this bogus address through the post office(which is the process and he knew it, he did this to put it off even more) well I called today for an update and they have decided not to do the postal address verification and they have forwarded his info to the local attorneys office for a court date for contempt of court.....This could take up to 90 days, but atleast theyre doing something.... Its been 7 years and he has never paid a penny and the only consequence has been that he is not been allowed to get a license (couldnt suspensd it because he never had one, so they pretty much the same thing)...A little progress is better than none though...

Little_Weveek

06-10-2006, 11:35 PM

mommyof4

06-11-2006, 10:03 AM

Thanks.... But My X is not that nice to try to send me anything...... Anyhow Good Luck with your case!!!!
Oh, it had nothing to do with being nice. He thought if he sent a check to cover the difference, the IRS would never have to know what he did. Well, I and my husband are not so nice as to let him get away with anything else. It was the final straw. So, we wait. That's okay, I'm a patient person.

shawnperez70

06-11-2006, 11:56 PM

Tjane

06-12-2006, 09:54 AM

ceara

06-13-2006, 02:46 AM

i have sat and read some of the things you woman complaine about.{fathers not paying childsupport} Well I have been on both ends. I naver got one penny from my daughters father, big deal, I did it myself no help on 5.15 an hour. get two jobs do what ever it takes quit depending on money from your ex. You can not tell me that you spend every dime on that child. I wish they made it to where you had to put up at least half of that in a savings account.If you are sitting there gripping and throwing fits about a few hundred dollars a month then you have problems. yes they should have to pay something but if they don't then get over it qiut being greedy good greif. my ex husband for my son was suppose to pay me almost 500.00 dollars a month but i knew he could not afford that so i let him pay me 250.00 because he would never be able to pay that and make ends meet plus be able to have fun with his son I have even went as far as not letting him pay the child support that month because he was having a hard time. just feel lucky they even have a dad what would you complane about if there was no one there such as dad.Now as for paying childsupport we do that to the mother sits on her but draws that check every month just like welfare do you think thats fair? that she supports herself and her other son she depends on that check every month to support HER. Thats why i say put half of it up for the one it is supposed to be going to. :eek:

You know what? I don't get the court ordered child support EITHER! I don't complain because I am fortunate enough to be able to do without the money. I don't struggle to make ends meet and my children want for nothing.

My ex is ordered to pay $1000 per month and that is several hundred dollars less then it SHOULD be. Paying the support would NOT be a hardship for him. He spends more then the ordered amount every month buying drinks for strangers in bars! He wouldn't miss the money if he paid it. I'm sure I COULD force him to pay, but he is not worth my time or effort.

There is always the chance that something terrible could happen to put me in a dire financial situation at some point. If that ever happens, I'd go after him for the child support in a second before I let my children do without. When we married, I was the one that was in a much better financial situation then he was. I owned a home that was paid for in full, 2 cars, investments, savings and virtually no debt. He had quite a bit of debt and owned nothing free and clear. When we divorced, he was the one earning substantially more than I. I CHOSE to earn less in exchange for a family.

The ONLY thing I asked for from the marriage was custody of my children. He didn't WANT them, but since it was my ONLY request, he decided to fight it to the death. I spent EVERY single penny of my premarital assets, maxed out several high limit credit cards, borrowed thousands of dollars from the bank and even more from my parents. He wasn't even asking for custody. All he wanted was visitation that would allow him to see the kids whenever he had nothing better to do.

In the beginning, I allowed him to see the kids whenever he wanted. I soon realized that he had no intention of being a REGULAR STABLE parent. His plan was to drop in when he felt like it and then disappear for months at a time when he got bored with fatherhood. That meant he would hang around long enough for the kids to get attached then disappear and break their hearts over and over. That was NOT acceptable to me.

He could either be a FULL TIME parent or nothing. I have seen entirely too many friends that has to constantly console their children and make excuses for daddy not showing up when he should, leaving the children waiting at the window without so much as a phone call. Court order or not, MY children were NOT going to have to suffer through something like that!

I spent 2 YEARS going to court at least once EVERY month, up to 6 times some months, and every penny I had, but I won.

Actually, I didn't win, he LOST. He had every opportunity to be a father, but he never bothered to use them.

It does not make him any LESS responsible for providing for the children than I am. As a matter of fact, I think he should be held MORE responsible financially because he NEVER had to provide ANYTHING when the children are with him, because they are NEVER with him.

I will NEVER begrudge another parent (mother OR father) for pursuing and enforcing the maximum amount of child support that the law allows whether they NEED the money or not. The children DESERVE it regardless of the circumstances.

ceara

06-13-2006, 02:48 AM

While things are that simple for you, they are not for me. i have always worked 2 jobs and still can not afford the things that my child needs all the time, and you are absolutely right, not every dime i receive is spent on my child because i have NEVER received a dime. I have never received assistance or child support, work 2 jobs and still cant make it alone. If i ever do receive a payment not every penny will be spent on her, I am going to spend some on the electric bill, some on the rent, some on the car that gets her to school and doctors appointments, not all child support needs to go directly to clothes and toys. AND put half of it up?? half of what? last I checked half of nothing is NOTHING.........

If you'll put up that half, I throw in the other half of that nothing for you! :cool:

shawnperez70

06-13-2006, 09:48 PM

ceara

06-13-2006, 11:23 PM

for the lady that has to hold down two jobs to make ends met go back to school and get a degree. there are lots of grants loans for single parents sometimes you have to sacrafice a little to get alot. I am a manicurist went to school for 5 month and i can make 700 a week easy and it is a very small town.you can do or be anything you want if you put your mind to it. no it was very hard to make ends meet but i did it with out the states help also. i am very strong willed thats what you have to do get on with your life.

Going back to college isn't as easy as you are making it out to be when you have a mortgage, car payment, payments for health, car, homeowners and life insurance, utilities AND children to clothe feed and educate.

Even if you could go for free, the bills still have to be paid and if you are already working 2 jobs to make ends meet, you don't have the time to go to classes. If YOU don't want child support, that's YOUR choice. But that does not excuse the father from his financially obligations to the child. People that DO expect child support are not wrong for wanting it. BOTH choices are are equally right.

This whole debate between the parents that expect CS and the one that don't is the dumbest thing since working mothers and stay at home moms. The workers think that the SAHM is lazy and not doing their share financially. The SAHM think that the workers are selfish and neglectful for working hard and having a babysitter raise the child. Each parent has to make the decisions based on what is right for THEM without anyone telling them they are wrong.

I strongly disagree with using the child support to pay your bills it should be used for clothing, medical, extra food, education, not to pay for your stuff.

That is another moronic way to think. They should not spend the money on things like getting their hair done or buying themselves clothes, but they have every right to use it for the bills. The kids can't go without a roof over their head, electricity, water, etc. And don't even start in with the "well, mom would need those things even if she didn't have kids. That is true, but if they didn't have kids, all of those bills would be DRASTICALLY lower. If mom is buying groceries, clothes, school supplies, etc. with a credit card, then the support should be used to pay the bill.

sorry that is just the way i feel. when that child gets old enough they will need a car (insurance) sports and when they get out of school they will need extra money to make it if they go to college. if you are making it now you will make it later. forget the child support if he is not going to pay it and go on.

I have never seen anything in the parenting handbook that says that a child NEEDS a car or car insurance. My parents are LOADED and when I asked for a car for my 16th birthday, they asked what kind I wanted. I told them I wanted a Nissan Z. When I opened my present expecting a set of keys, I was surprised to find a Nissan Z Matchbox car! They told me that I needed to start watering it and hope it grows into a full size car or I needed to get a JOB! And I was living a 1000 miles away at school and didn't have mom & dad there to drive me around.

forget the child support if he is not going to pay it and go on. you must no be struggling to hard or you would not have a computer and the internet. that is something you can do with out unless you are making money on it.

Having an Internet connection has nothing to do with struggling. It doesn't mean that she has a T1 connection. I got a disk in the mail the other day for 6 months of FREE access and after that it was $4.95/mo. $4.95 a month isn't going to make much difference at the end of the month.

If he ever does pay it then do right and use it for the kids not you and your personal satisfaction.

What do you mean by this?

also by the way there are laws that can make you put up half of whatever you may get in the furture parents don't ever hear about because the judges never tell it and lawyers just want there money.

WRONG! There is no law that requires putting away ANY part of the money. It could be in an individual court order if both parties agree to it, but there is now law on the books in ANY state that required this. The only state with a child support accountability law is Ohio. IF a parent paying support can show the court compelling evidence that the support is being misused, a Judge can order a forensic audit of the receiving parents finances to see if the money going in is in line with the money going out. If it's not, a judge could then order the receiving parent keep a GENERAL accounting of what the money is spent on each month.

and for the dad that wants to come and go as he pleases he will hang himself i know i have been there. I can bet you that when they get older they will want to see him then they can judge him. and i'm not saying that you are being right or wrong because i would do the same thing but think about the road in the long run because everything we do effects our kids. :o

I already know that they will probably want to meet him when they are older, but I will NEVER put my children's emotion health be damaged repeatedly by his actions while they are young. When they are old enough to deal with, it will be THEIR choice if they want to meet him or not. If they do, I already know what he will say. But he is going to have a hell of a time trying to blame me when I have 4 boxes full of EVERY piece of evidence that was used in court, tapes of phone conversations, letters and emails from HIM where he is coming right out and saying "I don't give a damn what happens to you OR them, You will NEVER see a penny from me" among many other things equally uncaring.

I also know that my actions play a big role in what kind of adults they will be. If I am doing anything that would have a negative impact, it sure as hell isn't showing in the kids. I have 2 VERY well adjusted, intelligent, well rounded, happy children.

Their FATHER'S actions, or to put it more accurately, his LACK of action, will also play a role. However, if I do MY job right as a mother, they will grow up and be successful, contributing, members of society IN SPITE of him and BECAUSE of me.

Tjane

06-14-2006, 05:33 AM

Tjane

06-14-2006, 05:39 AM

Tjane

06-14-2006, 05:43 AM

AND Thank you Ceara... Is that full moon STILL here???

ceara

06-14-2006, 06:45 AM

AND Thank you Ceara... Is that full moon STILL here???

I sure hope not!

DIANA BLEMMEL

06-14-2006, 07:27 AM

Iam Sorry Maybe I Shouldnt Say Anything Iam New At This Myself, However This Is For Shawnperez You Need To Step Down Off That High Horse Before Someone Knocks You Off It!!!!!!!!!! Who Are You To Judge Anyone? I Know For A Fact That All Cs Cases Are Diffrent I Have Two Very Diffrent Ones Myself ( Mother Of A 21 And 16 Year Old) You Cant Comment On One Case And Expect It To Fit In For Every One Else. The Money Shouldnt Be Spent On Bills What The Heck Does That Mean?? My Son Has Never In 21 Years Recieved A Penny Nor Will He!! The So Called Father Denied Even Being His Father I Tryed To Get A Dna Test Done Thru Dhs And The Attorney He Had Was A Very Good One!!! Mine Was Dhs Representing Me And I Wasnt Even Aware There Was A Court Date!! We Were Married I Was 15 ( Yeah Go Ahead And Say Something About That) I Listened To My Parents And Said He Wasnt The Father At The Divorce Hearing At 15 I Figured They Knew What They Were Talking About!!! So Now The Bc Is Blank Where The Fathers Name Should Be I Concieved My Son Alone By The Defination The Judge Gave!!! Cs Ill Never Get It My Son Doesnt Have A Father And For Your Info I Dont Want It Dont ***** About It Dont Care!!! For The Seacond Case My Daughter Never Recieved A Penny In 15 Years Shes 16 Now And Iam Takeing Him To Court Every Chance I Get!!! I Now Recieve $300.00 A Month Plus $100.00 A Month On Arrears And If The Jerk Files A Tax Return Iam Getting It Too!!!!! Last Year That Came To 1355.00 This Year He Found A Way For It To Be Only 292.00 But Guess What He Screwed Himself What He Did Was Illegal And Now He Has Irs Breathing Down His Neck And If I Have My Way They He Will Be Breathing Down More Then That!! That Money Is For Whatever It Takes To Take Care Of The Children Period. That Means Electric,gas ,water,insurance,cloths,medical,activities Etc: My Daughter Is 16 And Has A Job And Pays For Most Of Her Stuff Herself She Still Has No Car (i Cant Afford One Even With The Cs But Half Of It Is Being Put Back As You Say For That) She Has A 4.0 Grade Point Average Is A Cheerleader,dances,basketball,softball,president Of Her Class And Has Done Most Of This Sence The 3rd Grade. I Paid For It All By Working Two Jobs And Going To School At Night To Get A Better Job!!!! Now I Should Put The Cs Iam Getting Up So I Can Give It To Her For A Dwn Pymt On A House When Shes Older!!! I Dont Even Own A House I Rent!!! I Agree That The Money Shouldnt Go Toward Our Knew Cloths And Etc However By Useing The Cs For My Rent Ill Beable To By Myself A New Shirt Once In Awhile Even If It Comes From A Used Store. You Need To Count Your Blessings And Shut Your Hole And While Your At It Remember Those Months It Was A Struggel For You To Make Ends Meet!! Ide Almost Bet My Next Cs Check You Wasnt Saying All This Back When You Were Working Both Those Jobs!!!! You Can Now Cause Your Kids Are Grown And It Isnt So Hard To Make Those Ends Meet. The Rest Of Us Are Still Going Thru It One Way Or Another Our Roses Dont Smell As Good As Yours Right Now But They Look Just As Pretty If You Get My Drift!!! Oh And College I Was Lucky I Finally Paid Off All Those Student Loans Just In Time To Start Paying For Another Child To Get A Better Education So She To Has It Better Then I Did!! Your One Of The Lucky Ones Is All I Can Say But Wowman Like You Make Me Prouder For Who Iam!!! To Know That Regardless Of What I Face There Will Be A Better Day Ahead And When That Day Comes I Wont Forget What I Went Thru To Get There!!!! If I Have Offended Anyone Iam Sorry But When Someone Who Thinks They Know It All Trys To Tell Everyone Else How The Cow Eatsthe Cabbage When They Have No Cows Really Ticks This Okie Off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

madmom

06-14-2006, 07:38 AM

ceara

06-14-2006, 10:08 AM

Tjane

06-14-2006, 10:15 AM

If I go after the money and actually collect it after they turn 18, the money is MINE to spend in any way I see fit because he would only be repaying my money that I have already SPENT raising the kids. That is not what I would actually DO. My plan is to give the money to them after they graduate from college to give them a head start on adulthood. The point is, I am the one that gets to chose when, where and how that money is spent.

That is also my feeling (even with it only being 7 years). If I ever just got a say... $3000 check in the mail and his arrearages are $14,000 ( I think even 15 now) but why should I feel bad if I decide to spend some of the money on car repairs and other debt, even some for my own personal use, as far as I am concerned this is my money at this point and will continue to be until he is nearly caught up. I have to unwillingly loan my ex his child support payment every month for his financial obligation to my child in the hopes that the CSE office will collect it some day and get it back to me.....

knot

06-14-2006, 10:16 AM

Dont matter if the parent spends all their income smoking crack. The child STILL needs a source to survive. Dont matter if the parent spends all their income on partying, the childs still needs a source to survive. I rather take a little irresponsibility from my ex, than to deny my child any support at all. Hell, i bet those complaining ncps spend more on themselves than they do on their children. There is no difference!!!!!

shawnperez70

06-19-2006, 10:13 AM

camdameron

06-19-2006, 10:35 AM

Tjane

06-19-2006, 11:18 AM

Let me say right off the bat that I do not have kids, but I want to get the point across that it is expensive to live, period, for anyone.

The point of child support is to help with any bills that help the children to live a decent quality of life. If the child support needs to go towards helping with rent to a house that they live in, then so be it. If it needs to go towards car repairs on a car that gets them to school or activities, then so be it.

It is substituting income from a source that would be there under other circumstances, and if you choose to accept the help, great. If you feel you are financially stable to do without, great.

The end.

Thanks, because I am "bitter" that I have to lose quality time with my child just to make sure she doesnt go without things that other children have I wouldnt have been so nice in my reply. Its not that I am not willing to put forth effort its that I am not willing to leave my child with someone who I dont know. Just because you would be comfortable with leaving your children with strangers doesnt mean I have to or that I should be expected to just because the non-custodial dead beat wont step up. AND you are wrong, if money is paid for child support after my daughter reaches the age of 18 this will still go to me, why would it go to my daughter? I have to pay her fathers half of child support every month that I am doing it on my own, Why would it go to her, she isnt paying his child support for him, I am.....

madmom

06-19-2006, 04:42 PM

I don't know what world shawnperez70 lives in, but there are mothers out there that do work fulltime, and go to school, and as far as the cs goes, when and if i do get any, I do have a savings account that it goes into for my kids, and if there is anything extrordinary that they want and I cannot not buy for them, they use that money. Otherwise it just sits there to go towards college, but I will not EVER cut my ex a break on paying support, I go to every contempt hearing just to make sure my kids get what they want and deserve. It takes a lot of nerve to dictate how other people spend money that is rightfully theirs.

Ohio "Step" Mom

06-19-2006, 08:21 PM

Shawn,

You seem to be a woman of many talents, special insights into child rearing, finances, and the law, and I just felt compelled to highlight just a couple of these special abilities.

The Martyr

QUOTE=shawnperez
i have sat and read some of the things you woman complaine about.{fathers not paying childsupport} Well I have been on both ends. I naver got one penny from my daughters father, big deal, I did it myself no help on 5.15 an hour.

i make it just fine no state help.[END QUOTE]

(Was this some nudist trailer park commune where you grew your own food?)

QUOTE=shawnperez
my ex husband for my son was suppose to pay me almost 500.00 dollars a month but i knew he could not afford that so i let him pay me 250.00

sometimes you have to sacrafice a little to get alot. [END QUOTE]

First, your spelling, grammar, and diction is so very colorful. Has Harvard contacted you yet to possibly teach in their literature department? Second, not requiring your ex to pay his order was YOUR CHOICE. Please do not fault those of us who would actually like to spend our time with our children instead of working two jobs.

When our lives are over and our children are left to carry on without us, I would prefer they have happy memories of time spent with me rather than memories of being alone or raised by babysitters.

The Lawmaker

This is "When you wish upon a star...." (please hum along)

QUOTE=shawnperez
I wish they made it to where you had to put up at least half of that in a savings account.
[END QUOTE]

Then....Poof......OH OH OH, IT'S MAGIC.....YOU KNOW......(please hum along again.... )

IT BECOMES LAW

QUOTE=shawnperez
Thats why i say put half of it up for the one it is supposed to be going to.
also by the way there are laws that can make you put up half of whatever you may get in the furture

yes there is a law that says you can fix it to where you have to put up a percent of the cs.
[END QUOTE]

I guess we all better watch out now......because:

QUOTE=shawnperez
it is the law that you hold a JOB full time.
[END QUOTE]

QUOTE=shawnperez
you people better find out what the courts are not telling you.

parents don't ever hear about because the judges never tell it and lawyers just want there money.
[END QUOTE]

(do you know how ridiculous and paranoid you sound?)

The Accountant / Trust Officer
QUOTE=shawnperez
I strongly disagree with using the child support to pay your bills it should be used for clothing, medical, extra food, education, not to pay for your stuff.

take care of the kids needs before yours with the cs. I still say it should not be spent on your car etc.

You can not tell me that you spend every dime on that child.

If he ever does pay it then do right and use it for the kids not you and your personal satisfaction.
[END QUOTE]

Here are some sample facts for you....

This accounting assumes that both the Non-CP and the CP ex make the same amount of money. Traditionally men make more money (NOT ALL THE TIME, I DO KNOW THIS) and would therefore contribute more towards the expenses of the child.

Let me see. Does the child live in a home or apartment, or do they live under a bridge or in a homeless shelter. Let’s just say they live in a home of some kind that the CP ex must pay for. Let’s also contend that they eat food, wear clothes, get sick (and might need medicine), need reliable transportation to go to the doctor or whatever (and gas and insurance for that transportation), maybe even a telephone so Jr. can talk to you, and just for kicks, take baths, have clean clothes, need heat in the winter, power to cook the food and clean the clothes, maybe some soap and stuff like that for those baths and clean clothes and keep the house clean, and assuming the CP works (since your solution was to work two jobs and go to school), maybe there is daycare to pay for too.

Monthly rent: $800 divided by 2 (ex and one child) = $400 divided by 2 again (half her responsibility for the child) = $200

Monthly Food: $300 divided by 3 (ex probably eats more so just to be fair) = $100 (again half of that) = $50

Monthly Clothes (unless the child does not grow): $100 divided by 2 = $50 (please consider $100 is only going to get a pair of shoes, and a couple of outfits at most, and if the child still wears diapers then that amount covers diapers and nothing else)

Monthly Doctor and Medicine allotment: $30 divided by 2 = $15 ($30 is nothing if the child gets more than a cold or if your CP ex has to lose time from work to care for the child)

Car payment and insurance: $300 divided by 4 (because more than likely the 1997 Hyundai won’t be driven by the child and dividing by 4 is adjusting to the amount of time the car is used for the benefit of the child, and, it is illegal to drive without insurance) = $ 75 divided by 2 = $37.50

Gas for the car: The average miles put on a car being 1k per month, the average mpg a car gets is 30 so… 1000 divided by 30 = around 33 x $2.79 (gas price on a good day) = < or > $92 divided by 4 = $23 divided by 2 = $11.50

Telephone: $50.00 divided by 2 = 25.00 divided by 2 = $12.50

Monthly water bill: $50 divided by 2 (because anyone who has given a child a bath knows that they use just as much water if not more than an adult) = 25 divided by 2 = $12.50

Monthly Gas & Electric: $200 (on some planet that I do not live) divided by 2 = $100 divided by 2 = $50

Monthly Daycare: $400 divided by 2 = $200 divided by 2 = $100
(Not sure why I divided that, but hey, why buck the trend!?)

So lets just add it up so far:

200.00
50.00
50.00
15.00
37.50
11.50
12.50
12.50
50.00
+100.00
539.00 per month for ONE child.

Total expenses for the household for the month being $2322.00

So if someone collects the child support that is due them and makes $5.15 per hour x 40 hours = $206.00 per week / 206 x 52 = $10,712 per year = 892.67 per month, add the $539.00 in child support = 1431.67 (total household income) That still leaves a shortfall of $890.33

$2.34 is what is left over if the parent works "two jobs" but then, who is raising the kid? REMINDER: This is IF the person IS receiving the child support! Whhheeeeeee!!!!! Hey kids, let's go to McDonalds and split a happy meal!!!!! (after saving up for two months)

Damn, I forgot the soap!!!!
And the taxes!!!!!!

These amounts range from cheap to average amounts.

Oh, and by the way, I do work, not full time because I now have a job that pays my bills + extras for the kids DESPITE the fact I have never received the CS due me. I did work full time and go to school full time and it was extremely hard on not only myself but my kids. I missed things in their lives that I will never get back. Time lost has no recoup-able monetary value. My kids suffered because their father was a loser who didn't support them (wouldn't even watch them while I was at work or school). Whoopie!!!!!! I have 40K in student loans to pay back because I had to take out extra loans just to get by on one job while I went to school!!! (and that job paid more than 2x minimum wage)

There is a difference between you and I. I think part of it is that I realize that there are others not as fortunate as I am. They do not have the support or resources to be able to further their educations, or access to the well paying jobs that I have been lucky enough to have. Now comes the big difference... I do not feel it is my right to BASH them for those things, or for merely asking for what is DUE them and their children. (and the NON-CP's child of course). I say DUE because unless it was an immaculate conception, BOTH parties have a duty to provide. Not just the one who sacrifices a good portion of their lives to actually be there to do the hard part. Apparently you feel that it's okay to kick people when they are down. Nice.

So, when you stand up on your soap box and preach to the masses about what an extraordinary person you are and how we are all pathetic losers, I hope the soap (that I forgot) trips you up and helps you fall into your place.

Disclaimer: Some of the FINEST people I have ever known, have or do live in a trailer for as we all should know, money does not give you supremacy in morals or values.

ceara

06-20-2006, 07:07 AM

I still stand by what i say. take care of the kids needs before yours with the cs. I still say it should not be spent on your car etc. My children are not grown 15 and 4 i make it just fine no state help. yes there is a law that says you can fix it to where you have to put up a percent of the cs. as soon as i get the info from a friend of mine i will post it. we are fixing to take my husbands ex back to court just to do that and make her get a job it is the law that you hold a JOB full time. you people better find out what the courts are not telling you. no i never once thought about if i had cs what i could do it not about me unlike the one woman that wants to charge her kids to live with her come on there your own children. for you not wanting to go to school because you dont want to leave your kids with someone you do know you just dont want to put out the effort or you would do it sounds like a i dont want to thing to me. And just for your info the kids after they turn 18 can go back and get the cs to on there own and spend it the way the want to. im saying if there not going to pay it then just go on with your live if you dont it will only make you bitter. and i see that has.

Everyone is entitle to their own opinion, not matter how stupid it may be. You also have the right to stand by that opinion. But you will be standing there alone.

Now, since you seem to be SOOOOO well-versed in the law, please cite state and/federal codes that would come anywhere CLOSE to being interpreted as "it is the law that you hold a JOB full time" OR "there is a law that says you can fix it to where you have to put up a percent of the cs."

I am not asking you to even cite a law that actually states either of your claims because I KNOW FOR A FACT that neither of those exists in ANY state or federal entity in the US or even in any US territory.

Until you can back up your "claims", STFU!

Zephyr

06-20-2006, 12:51 PM

Everyone is entitle to their own opinion, not matter how stupid it may be. You also have the right to stand by that opinion. But you will be standing there alone.

Now, since you seem to be SOOOOO well-versed in the law, please cite state and/federal codes that would come anywhere CLOSE to being interpreted as "it is the law that you hold a JOB full time" OR "there is a law that says you can fix it to where you have to put up a percent of the cs."

I am not asking you to even cite a law that actually states either of your claims because I KNOW FOR A FACT that neither of those exists in ANY state or federal entity in the US or even in any US territory.

Until you can back up your "claims", STFU!

ceara.....as long as I have known you, I don't think I have ever seen you like this.....it's obvious she's an idiot- leave her to her delusions :cool:

knot

06-20-2006, 01:19 PM

Cat fights are rough!!!!! I really dont know much about this subject except, the children should not go without because one parent does knot like the others spending habits, and its better to fight for what's legal and leave the rest alone!!! Now, i do know that, although Ceara responds with personal convictions, she is not ignorant to the laws governing this topic. You can bet she has done her homework! Damn, all i said to a poster was " stay tuned and i will show you how to ask a question" and i was threatend with excommunication!!!! Don't know how i got so tangled :cool: Anyway, if the op dont like cearas facts, then wait till mommyof4 blast in!!!, she will straighten it ALLLLLLL OUT :D

mom26

06-20-2006, 01:58 PM

lol you are right on!!!!!! AllI know is if you have a support order topay then as long as thechildren are feed house and clothes also education you can't control how it is spent.

ceara

06-21-2006, 03:03 AM

ceara.....as long as I have known you, I don't think I have ever seen you like this.....it's obvious she's an idiot- leave her to her delusions :cool:

Your absolutely right. Thanks for pulling me back into reality! ;)

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 12:19 PM

Zephyr

06-21-2006, 12:38 PM

camdameron

06-21-2006, 12:41 PM

it can be done and by yourself with out the help of the other party my child is 16 and she is in good health do to the nudist park we have here it pays well but i see that the worlds greatest mom must do more then just the nude stuff if you get my drift.

HUH????????

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 12:47 PM

HUH????????
Yes as you can see Ms. step mom thinks that just because i have made it in life that i lived in a nude park. So be it

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 12:49 PM

again- please cite these laws that you are soooo familiar with.....

just because you'd like it to be that way does not mean it is.....I wanted unicorns to be real too :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
My law friend is on it now then you can make your unicorns real along with the real law books. :eek: :p

Mlyjo632

06-21-2006, 12:50 PM

HUH????????
Ditto. I thought I missed something here... nudist park?

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 12:54 PM

Ditto. I thought I missed something here... nudist park?
Sounds like that is so true

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 12:58 PM

My law friend is on it now then you can make your unicorns real along with the real law books. :eek: :p
I told you once but since you don't seem to get it timearound i will tell you again MY LAW FRIEND WILL GET IT TO ME AND THEN I WILL POST IT. :D

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 01:00 PM

I told you once but since you don't seem to get it timearound i will tell you again MY LAW FRIEND WILL GET IT TO ME AND THEN I WILL POST IT. :D LET ME CORRECT THAT SPELLING THE FIRST TIME AROUND

Mlyjo632

06-21-2006, 01:01 PM

Sounds like that is so true

I didn't see your response to camdameron before I posted this. It must've all been written at the same time.

Attitude much? Back off your high horse honey.

Mlyjo632

06-21-2006, 01:02 PM

LET ME CORRECT THAT SPELLING THE FIRST TIME AROUND

There is a button called "edit"

Zephyr

06-21-2006, 01:11 PM

LET ME CORRECT THAT SPELLING THE FIRST TIME AROUND

so you admit that you are giving advice and spouting off about laws that you don't know for yourself are accurate?

well at least you have admitted you don't know what you are talking about :rolleyes:

Tjane

06-21-2006, 01:20 PM

No one said you cant raise a child alone but the point is you should not have to and if someone wants to complain because they have to, it is not your right to tell them to get over it. Nor is it your right to tell anyone how to spend their money. My car gets my child to school and doctors appointments (at a minimum, lets not count the millions of trips to stores to get their basic needs) so therefore childsupport can be used for maintainence for that car. AND its a good thing we all know you are not an accountant because you are still not getting it HALF OF NOTHING IS NOTHING..... even if in a million years on your planet (Im guessing Uranus) if that were the law, the primary law that is being broken is the noncostodial parent in this case and mine are not paying anything.... so the putting half up (wherever the heck that came from) means nothing and since you are having trouble comprehending NOTHING... meaning= not anything, zero, nil, zilch, NOT EXISTENT....
goodness :rolleyes:

Zephyr

06-21-2006, 01:21 PM

and what's a law friend??? where can I get one? :cool:

Tjane

06-21-2006, 01:22 PM

and what's a law friend??? where can I get one? :cool:

hehehe :p

camdameron

06-21-2006, 01:22 PM

and what's a law friend??? where can I get one?

love it!!!!

Mlyjo632

06-21-2006, 01:28 PM

I told you once but since you don't seem to get it timearound i will tell you again MY LAW FRIEND WILL GET IT TO ME AND THEN I WILL POST IT. :D

This is why the game "telephone" is called a GAME! When you hear a 'law' thru the grapevine (you call friends)... That doesn't automatically guarantee it's REAL!
Why can't you get off your *** and go and do some research and waste your time and find out that there isn't such thing?

p.s. don't we all WANT law friends. :D

CAdad

06-21-2006, 01:45 PM

Shawnperez, you are a complete tool! This post has lasted much too long.

Also, how the hell do you make $700 a week doing nails. My wife gets her nails done and it's $35.00 and it takes about 50 minutes, and we don't live in a small town. Now assuming you give a precentage to the salon, because we ALL know you don't own a salon, how the hell do you make $700 a week. There are only 24 hours in a day. And a small town most likely charges less. With all these women here, I am surprised someone didn't pick right up on that lie. Now I feel a little like a metro-sexual!

Also, who pays for daycare, because in CA my neice pays $275.00 a week for a six month old baby. Exactly what protionof your income was left for support. So we are all so proud of you for making it work on $5.15 an hour and then going back to school and making your big $36,000 a week nail job, but thats not for everyone. What is your rent, $100 a month?

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 01:49 PM

This is why the game "telephone" is called a GAME! When you hear a 'law' thru the grapevine (you call friends)... That doesn't automatically guarantee it's REAL!
Why can't you get off your *** and go and do some research and waste your time and find out that there isn't such thing?

p.s. don't we all WANT law friends. :D WAY DO THAT WHEN I HAVE A LAWYER FRIEND THAT HAS THE BOOKS HIMSELF AND HAPPENS TO BE A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE AND DOES NOT CARE TO GET THEM FOR ME. IT IS VERY MUCH MY RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING I WANT THANK GOD FOR THE USA IT IS CALLED FREEDOM OF SPEECH. A LAW DUHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I SEE YOU ALL ARE SO 2355 2368 ON GETTING EVERY DIME THERE IS COMING TO YOU!!!! POINT IS THAT IS FOR THE KIDS NOT YOU. i THINK THAT IS WHY THEY CALL IT CS DO YOU THINK AND NOT SPOUSE SUPPORT.GO AHEAD A LET HIM TAKE CARE OF YOU TO NOT SAYING THE CHILDREN DON'T GET SOME OF IT BUT SO DO YOU. IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING ZERO DOLLARS THEN GO ON AND DON'T MAKE THIS YOUR WHOLE LIFE SET ON MONEY. I PROMISE YOU CAN MAKE IT ON YOUR ON OR DO SOME OF YOU NEED A HAND BOOK TO DO THAT.

Mlyjo632

06-21-2006, 01:50 PM

WAY DO THAT WHEN I HAVE A LAWYER FRIEND THAT HAS THE BOOKS HIMSELF AND HAPPENS TO BE A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE AND DOES NOT CARE TO GET THEM FOR ME. IT IS VERY MUCH MY RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING I WANT THANK GOD FOR THE USA IT IS CALLED FREEDOM OF SPEECH. A LAW DUHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I SEE YOU ALL ARE SO 2355 2368 ON GETTING EVERY DIME THERE IS COMING TO YOU!!!! POINT IS THAT IS FOR THE KIDS NOT YOU. i THINK THAT IS WHY THEY CALL IT CS DO YOU THINK AND NOT SPOUSE SUPPORT.GO AHEAD A LET HIM TAKE CARE OF YOU TO NOT SAYING THE CHILDREN DON'T GET SOME OF IT BUT SO DO YOU. IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING ZERO DOLLARS THEN GO ON AND DON'T MAKE THIS YOUR WHOLE LIFE SET ON MONEY. I PROMISE YOU CAN MAKE IT ON YOUR ON OR DO SOME OF YOU NEED A HAND BOOK TO DO THAT.

You might want to put this in English before posting (AND push that button called 'caps lock')

You are not understanding what everyone is saying. Let me say this backwards for you.

Say you didn't receive child support, then maybe you couldn't afford a car (or insurance) and couldn't get your child to school, go to the grocery store to provide THEM food, or even GO TO WORK, etc... Just because the adult is driving the car, buying the food, or making money, doesn't necessarily make it a benefit for them ONLY. If these things happen (or don't happen) one could be considered unfit.

Please don't make me write this out for every tangible or non-tangible item a child needs like Ohio Step Mom.

Zephyr

06-21-2006, 01:54 PM

well I guess one doesn't have to be literate to do nails...... :rolleyes:

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 01:59 PM

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 02:03 PM

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 02:05 PM

You might want to put this in English before posting (AND push that button called 'caps lock')

You are not understanding what everyone is saying. Let me say this backwards for you.

Say you didn't receive child support, then maybe you couldn't afford a car (or insurance) and couldn't get your child to school, go to the grocery store to provide THEM food, or even GO TO WORK, etc... Just because the adult is driving the car, buying the food, or making money, doesn't necessarily make it a benefit for them ONLY. If these things happen (or don't happen) one could be considered unfit.

Please don't make me write this out for every tangible or non-tangible item a child needs like Ohio Step Mom. I THINK I HAVE TO SPELL IT BIG SO YOU CAN SEE IT

Zephyr

06-21-2006, 02:06 PM

BY THE WAY I PAY NO DAYCARE BECAUSE I OWN THE SHOP MY KIDS ARE IN SCHOOL AND THERE DAD PICKS THEM UP AFTER SCHOOL. AND IT IS 36,000. A YEAR NOT WEEK

your point? it doesn't mean you know what you are talking about...

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 02:09 PM

well I guess one doesn't have to be literate to do nails...... :rolleyes: AT LEAST IT IS A GOOD PAY AND IT PAYS FOR THE BILLS AND I DON'T HAVE TO CHASE AFTER A FEW HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH

Zephyr

06-21-2006, 02:13 PM

AT LEAST IT IS A GOOD PAY AND IT PAYS FOR THE BILLS AND I DON'T HAVE TO CHASE AFTER A FEW HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH

this has nothing to do with the many questions you have been asked regarding your ability to prove the contents of your posts ????

Mlyjo632

06-21-2006, 02:17 PM

I THINK I HAVE TO SPELL IT BIG SO YOU CAN SEE IT

NO, I'm not blind. YOU just have NO CONCEPT of what people are trying to say.

Even if I MAKE IT BIG for you, you are too much of an idiot to understand.

Shopgirl75

06-21-2006, 02:21 PM

You know what? I am usually the one who tells people to back off of insulting posters, but let me tell you honey, you are ignorant and deserve every slam that this forum throws at you. Are there seriously people this ignorant in the world? Listen, you don't know it all, so give up already. Every state law is different in one way or the other, no 2 states are the same. What your state does, doesn't apply to everyone, first of all. Second of all, I don't see "attorney at law" " or Social worker" behind your name, so until you do, what you are saying is either second hand information, or some crap you may have read on the internet somewhere. Look up the definition of child support and get an education. Child support is exactly that. Child support. It means you use the money to support your child. Supporting your child, in case you don't know this either, is providing food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, transportation, and schooling. So since you know so damned much, if your money doesn't "support" your kids, then what does? If you don't support them by providing food, who pays for their food then, and how do they eat? If you don't use your money to pay for shelter, then who will, and where will your child live? If you don't use your money to buy clothes, again, who will and what will they wear? Same with transportation. Who pays for the gas when your child needs to go to school or to the doctor? Is there a gas fairy that I am not hip to? That would be great!!!! Point being, this money comes from somewhere , mainly mom's pocket. Kids aren't made single parently, so they shouldn't be supported by one parent either. If I pay for all of these things up front, out of MY pocket alone, when dad should be giving half, then as far as I am concerned, the child support is a small reimbursment for the money that I have already shelled out. And I can assure you that most women's child support doesn't even begin to come close to the actual costs of raising their children. Mom almost always ends up paying more anyhow for the various things that seem to pop up periodically. Of course I don't agree with women using it for themselves, or living off of someone else's money, but I don' t believe that it is my job to support my kids alone either. And apparently the court system agrees with me because we now have this wonderful thing called CHILD SUPPORT that says BOTH parents have to pay. If I get 400 a month, and 200 is used on my kids, and 200 is used for household items, gas, or to pay part of a morgage payment, then there is no mis-use in that. So, you sit on your high horse all you want, but lady, it is ignorant women like you that give all of us other mothers a bad name. Get a clue and God bless your kids.

Mlyjo632

06-21-2006, 02:21 PM

AT LEAST IT IS A GOOD PAY AND IT PAYS FOR THE BILLS AND I DON'T HAVE TO CHASE AFTER A FEW HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH

It sounds like you are just trying to prove a point that you "make enough money" to survive (without child support). Good for you. No one cares. 95% of the people who are getting child support, need it. You're just special, I suppose.
But let me reitterate this again...

N-O
O-N-E
C-A-R-E-S!!!!!!

Mlyjo632

06-21-2006, 02:24 PM

You know what? I am usually the one who tells people to back off of insulting posters, but let me tell you honey, you are ignorant and deserve every slam that this forum throws at you. Are there seriously people this ignorant in the world? Listen, you don't know it all, so give up already. Every state law is different in one way or the other, no 2 states are the same. What your state does, doesn't apply to everyone, first of all. Second of all, I don't see "attorney at law" " or Social worker" behind your name, so until you do, what you are saying is either second hand information, or some crap you may have read on the internet somewhere. Look up the definition of child support and get an education. Child support is exactly that. Child support. It means you use the money to support your child. Supporting your child, in case you don't know this either, is providing food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, transportation, and schooling. So since you know so damned much, if your money doesn't "support" your kids, then what does? If you don't support them by providing food, who pays for their food then, and how do they eat? If you don't use your money to pay for shelter, then who will, and where will your child live? If you don't use your money to buy clothes, again, who will and what will they wear? Same with transportation. Who pays for the gas when your child needs to go to school or to the doctor? Is there a gas fairy that I am not hip to? That would be great!!!! Point being, this money comes from somewhere , mainly mom's pocket. Kids aren't made single parently, so they shouldn't be supported by one parent either. If I pay for all of these things up front, out of MY pocket alone, when dad should be giving half, then as far as I am concerned, the child support is reimbursment. Of course I don't agree with women using it for themselves, or living off of someone else's money, but I don' t believe that it is my job to support my kids alone either. And apparently the court system agrees with me because we now have this wonderful thing called CHILD SUPPORT that says BOTH parents have to pay. If I get 400 a month, and 200 is used on my kids, and 200 is used for household items, gas, or to pay part of a morgage payment, then there is no mis-use in that. So, you sit on your high horse all you want, but lady, it is ignorant women like you that give all of us other mothers a bad name. Get a clue and God bless your kids.

well said...

...but i have a feeling she still won't understand and she'll fight you until this thread gets closed.

shawnperez70

06-21-2006, 03:05 PM

well said...

...but i have a feeling she still won't understand and she'll fight you until this thread gets closed.
IS THAT THE ONLY QUOTE YOU ALL KNOW IT GETS OLD AFTER A WHILE. STILL STAND BY MY WORD THAT I SAY AND AS SOON AS I GET THE INFO YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. QUOTE FOR QUOTE. I AM NOT TRYING TO SAY YOU DON'T NEED HELP I AM SAYING THAT IF THEY DON'T THEN GO ON. DO IT YOURSELF AND BE PROUD THAT YOU DID IT. LIFE GOES ON MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING. GOD HAS ALREADY BLESSED MY KIDS WITH A MOTHER THAT IS STRONG IN LIFE ITS SELF AND EVERYTHING AROUND IT.

Zephyr

06-21-2006, 03:15 PM

IS THAT THE ONLY QUOTE YOU ALL KNOW IT GETS OLD AFTER A WHILE. STILL STAND BY MY WORD THAT I SAY AND AS SOON AS I GET THE INFO YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. QUOTE FOR QUOTE. I AM NOT TRYING TO SAY YOU DON'T NEED HELP I AM SAYING THAT IF THEY DON'T THEN GO ON. DO IT YOURSELF AND BE PROUD THAT YOU DID IT. LIFE GOES ON MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING. GOD HAS ALREADY BLESSED MY KIDS WITH A MOTHER THAT IS STRONG IN LIFE ITS SELF AND EVERYTHING AROUND IT.

and all of THAT is not legal advice, by any stretch of the imagination......

Shopgirl75

06-21-2006, 04:34 PM

Well, Zephyr, what one person sees as valuable, others see as trash.... You make the call. :D And by the way, Shawn, just because you are stupid enough to move on and let someone slide right on out of their responsibility, doesn't mean that it's right or that you should tell others to do the same. That is your ignorant choice. If you want to teach your kids that it is ok to make babies and then not take care of them, by all means, go ahead. Nice to know why the morals in our country have gone to crap. People like you that feel that it's easier to move on and let it go, rather than do what's right, even if it is a fight. No wonder there are about 10 million "babies daddies" running around with thousands racked up in child support. Women like you let it happen. No accountability what so ever. It's not all about the money, it's the principal of the matter. No mother laid down and made any child on her own, so no mother should have to do it alone. In my case, it isn't about greed, i have done it alone for almost 10 years. It is the fact that I am not willing to let someone just come in, make babies, and then just act like nothing ever happened. God has blessed my children with a wonderful mother, if i do say so myself, and cursed them with a loser father. If you want to be ignorant let your kids dad out of his responsibilities, becuase you know he believes that he got over on you, and he did get over on you by the way, and teach them those kinds of morals, then by all means. But just let me know where your kids go to school because I will make sure that my kids aren't around that kind of an influence. I am done with this thread because it is irritating to see such blatent ignorance and moral irresponsibility. This thread needs to be closed as it is useless, and she will remain ignorant regardless of what anyone says.

Tjane

06-21-2006, 04:56 PM

BY THE WAY I PAY NO DAYCARE BECAUSE I OWN THE SHOP MY KIDS ARE IN SCHOOL AND THERE DAD PICKS THEM UP AFTER SCHOOL. AND IT IS 36,000. A YEAR NOT WEEK

Then you are not doing it on your own. You said at first you were raising kids with no support, then you go to say you get $250and now you say that Dad atleast picks them up. Of course you are doing a little bit better than those of us who pay daycare. Do you even know how much daycare is? That is why you have no place telling people what to do, you lie and say you are in the same situation when you are not. You have no idea....and Dont tell me I can do it on my own, that is obvious, its been 7 years and havent had to get on assitance yet (wouldnt qualify if i did) so I KNOW I can, my point is I should not have to, and no child should have to go through life not benefiting from both parents, mentally, emotionally, physically OR financially.....

ceara

06-22-2006, 02:54 AM

and what's a law friend??? where can I get one? :cool:

I'll be your law friend.

As to dippy's comment about a law requiring a person to get a job and put half the money into savings, I have searched the legal databases for all 50 states and every US territory. Not only is there NO law that requires a parent to do these things according to the family code of ANY US state or territory, there is no law even CLOSE to this in ANY other category of law either!

So if dippy's friend "finds" this imaginary law (or maybe it's an INVISIBLE law, which would explain why I can't find it), she will need to cite the EXACT STATE and corresponding CODE. Just "quoting" the law isn't gonna cut it. Which will be impossible because of the fact that it doesn't exist.

After she realizes that the "law friend" can't help her, maybe she could get in touch with the law FAIRY and wish for one!

Zephyr

06-22-2006, 05:00 AM

I'll be your law friend.

As to dippy's comment about a law requiring a person to get a job and put half the money into savings, I have searched the legal databases for all 50 states and every US territory. Not only is there NO law that requires a parent to do these things according to the family code of ANY US state or territory, there is no law even CLOSE to this in ANY other category of law either!

So if dippy's friend "finds" this imaginary law (or maybe it's an INVISIBLE law, which would explain why I can't find it), she will need to cite the EXACT STATE and corresponding CODE. Just "quoting" the law isn't gonna cut it. Which will be impossible because of the fact that it doesn't exist.

After she realizes that the "law friend" can't help her, maybe she could get in touch with the law FAIRY and wish for one!

You are too good! ROTFLMAO :D

CAdad

06-22-2006, 07:21 AM

Ceara, you just figured it all out, that explains everything about this shawn perez character:

The law fairy is sprinkling some of her law "dust" which explains why she is a little loopy, to put it nicely. Between the lfairy dust and the fumes from the nail salon, she is not working with a full deck. Can I get some of whatever your on, because I could use being in a fantasy land for a little while.

mommyof4

06-22-2006, 07:51 AM

What ever! but i still stand by my statements. If you are using the cs for things for you then he is not just supporting the kids he is still supporting YOU. I see can't live with him can't live without him. Ms. high and mighty that has everything seems to know all the answers except for the fact that there is a law that can make the other person get a job and put money into savings. PLUS if you also want to know there is also a law that is not used often but can be where the other person can bring into account there deductions they have to make there house hold run. As soon as i get this code number you want to know i will in fact post it for you. Then you can say NOW I KNOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since Ms. uptight wants correct spelling i better watch how i spell might not get into HARVARD. You are missing the point here don't make this an every day thing if you don,t get the cs then go on with your life. You sound like a very bitter person you have some real issues you might go ahead and get that cs for some physco help. Being that you can use it for yourself that will help you pay for the bill to BETTER YOU. (Step mom) Yes it does cost to take care of your kids but it can be done and by yourself with out the help of the other party my child is 16 and she is in good health do to the nudist park we have here it pays well but i see that the worlds greatest mom must do more then just the nude stuff if you get my drift. http://www.laborlawtalk.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Hello all! Well, I go to Disney for a few rides, come back and the craziest ride is right here! Shawn, the only point that is being missed is by you. There is no LAW that states that ANYBODY must hold a job. There can be individual rulings made in specific cases that the non paying party must show proof that he or she is working or face MORE fines and jail time, but there is no law for the general population. Just imagine all of the economical problems that could be immediately "erased" if EVERYONE were required to work at all times. Hmmmm....all right, my daydreaming is over. You are wrong. Unless there is proof to show that the CP is GROSSLY missusing the child support, there is no court in the land that will step in to make the cp spen the child support solely on "child related expenses". Do you know why???? Because the daily living expenses, while they are the parent's expenses, directly affect the child's LIVING ENVIRONMENT. Kid's gotta eat, bathe, sleep, cool off or stay warm, etc. If you think that only ONE parent has the responsibility to provide a safe, clean living environment for their children, you are delusional. So you managed to make it on your own. Congrats. Some people would consider you selfish to not fight for what is your CHILDREN'S right to support from the other parent. Me, I personally don't care what you decided to do. Ohters need the help from the other parent that had 50% of the fun of making the child. If you choose to not go after money owed to the child, that is your choice. It does NOT make you a better parent or person than those that DO demand the support. Not every situation is the same. Not all solutions are the same. Find what works for you and leave others alone. Frankly, it is none of your business.