LilMtnCbn
07-02-2004, 05:59 AM
http://www.illinoisleader.com/letters/lettersview.asp?c=17192
Adoption is about the child
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Having operated a maternity, and now as executive director of a pregnancy
resource center, I have come into contact with many pregnant young women. The
two letters published ["Adoption not seen as a loving option for these two
women," June 29, 2004], that are so heavily against adoption are not
representative of either adoptees or women who choose adoption for their
children.
It is extremely difficult for a woman to choose to let someone else be mother
to her child, but those who have chosen this path are making decisions for the
child, not for their own self esteem. The birth mother is often not able to
give the child the advantages she wishes that child to have, and the adoptive
parents usually are able to provide those things.
I also have spoken to quite a few adult adoptees. These are the first ones I've
heard from that think they would have been better off dead. At least, I assume
they think that, because they would rather kill their own babies in the womb
than allow them to be adopted. The adult adoptees I've spoken with are
universally pleased to have been chosen by their parents (they all consider
their adoptive parents their "real" parents). They may wish to know who their
birth parents are, but they want the parents who raised them to know that they
think of them as Mom and Dad, not the ones who conceived and gave birth to
them.
It is a very brave thing to do to go through a pregnancy and birth and choose
what is best for the child instead of what makes the birth mother feel best.
Adoption is not often the choice, but when it is, all parties come out ahead.
Eric Ivers
Jerseyville
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
Adoption is about the child
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Having operated a maternity, and now as executive director of a pregnancy
resource center, I have come into contact with many pregnant young women. The
two letters published ["Adoption not seen as a loving option for these two
women," June 29, 2004], that are so heavily against adoption are not
representative of either adoptees or women who choose adoption for their
children.
It is extremely difficult for a woman to choose to let someone else be mother
to her child, but those who have chosen this path are making decisions for the
child, not for their own self esteem. The birth mother is often not able to
give the child the advantages she wishes that child to have, and the adoptive
parents usually are able to provide those things.
I also have spoken to quite a few adult adoptees. These are the first ones I've
heard from that think they would have been better off dead. At least, I assume
they think that, because they would rather kill their own babies in the womb
than allow them to be adopted. The adult adoptees I've spoken with are
universally pleased to have been chosen by their parents (they all consider
their adoptive parents their "real" parents). They may wish to know who their
birth parents are, but they want the parents who raised them to know that they
think of them as Mom and Dad, not the ones who conceived and gave birth to
them.
It is a very brave thing to do to go through a pregnancy and birth and choose
what is best for the child instead of what makes the birth mother feel best.
Adoption is not often the choice, but when it is, all parties come out ahead.
Eric Ivers
Jerseyville
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
