LilMtnCbn
05-24-2004, 05:45 AM
http://www.poconorecord.com/local/alh45372.htm
Proud Smithfield Township dad reflects on the struggles and wonders of adopting
a little girl from China
| |
By WILLIAM DOOLITTLE
For the Pocono Record
wdoolittle@poconorecord.com
Americans adopted 21,100 children from other countries during the 12 months
ending Sept. 30, 2002, government statistics show. The most foreign-born
children came from China (6,062), followed by Russia (4,904), Guatemala
(2,361), Korea (1,713) and Ukraine (1,093).
Many Monroe County families have adopted children from abroad. What follows is
a first-person account. It is frankly intended to demystify the process for
couples considering foreign adoption and to encourage adoption, in general,
whether foreign or domestic.
The path to Grace twisted like the elastic in her topknot.
In hindsight, the path to adopting Grace, our 19-month-old daughter from China,
appears ruler-straight — always meant to be, even though her mother and I
began talking of adoption long before Grace was born.
Adoption is like that. Ask any of the millions of Americans who have opened
their hearts and hearths to adopted children.
The way from early decision to hugging your new child is long and arduous.
Adoptive parents learn to be judged as to their fitness by strangers each step
of the way.
Months or years later, if you stay the course, a child emerges and it suddenly
seems as if this particular child was waiting just for you.
As the world's countries and races pull together by light-speed communication
and sub-sonic plane travel, East is meeting West more often these days as
American families choose foreign adoption — particularly children from Asia,
Russia and the Baltic states that were once part of the defunct Soviet Union.
The heart finds its way.
The vast distances in miles and culture between the United States and China are
no barrier to true yearning to share your household with a child in need of a
family.
Whether the child is around the block or around the world, the impact of
adoption on a waiting child and the adoptive family is the same.
Love in the service of necessity creates a new family and a brighter future for
all involved.
My wife, Amy, and I have an 11-year-old son together (and I have four grown
children from a previous marriage). These days it is common for parents of
biological children to adopt. Many on our trip to China last November (National
Adoption Month) fit that description, and others were returning to China to
adopt a second child. Beyond the obvious, there are curious differences between
producing a biological child and adopting.
Adoptive parents are poked and probed. Social workers, adoption agencies and
governments at all levels take a deep interest in whether or not yours is a fit
household to receive a child.
Is your house clean enough? Are you? Are you too old? Too young, too shiftless,
too poor or poorly behaved? Adoptive parents are measured against these and
dozens of other criteria.
In the end, we all have mountains of paperwork to prove we are up to snuff.
But nobody checks to see if biological parents will be fit to raise children.
In an ironic twist, the necessity for adoption often arises from the fact that
some parents are unable or unwilling to raise their biological children.
This means that, across the globe, literally millions of kids wait.
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
Proud Smithfield Township dad reflects on the struggles and wonders of adopting
a little girl from China
| |
By WILLIAM DOOLITTLE
For the Pocono Record
wdoolittle@poconorecord.com
Americans adopted 21,100 children from other countries during the 12 months
ending Sept. 30, 2002, government statistics show. The most foreign-born
children came from China (6,062), followed by Russia (4,904), Guatemala
(2,361), Korea (1,713) and Ukraine (1,093).
Many Monroe County families have adopted children from abroad. What follows is
a first-person account. It is frankly intended to demystify the process for
couples considering foreign adoption and to encourage adoption, in general,
whether foreign or domestic.
The path to Grace twisted like the elastic in her topknot.
In hindsight, the path to adopting Grace, our 19-month-old daughter from China,
appears ruler-straight — always meant to be, even though her mother and I
began talking of adoption long before Grace was born.
Adoption is like that. Ask any of the millions of Americans who have opened
their hearts and hearths to adopted children.
The way from early decision to hugging your new child is long and arduous.
Adoptive parents learn to be judged as to their fitness by strangers each step
of the way.
Months or years later, if you stay the course, a child emerges and it suddenly
seems as if this particular child was waiting just for you.
As the world's countries and races pull together by light-speed communication
and sub-sonic plane travel, East is meeting West more often these days as
American families choose foreign adoption — particularly children from Asia,
Russia and the Baltic states that were once part of the defunct Soviet Union.
The heart finds its way.
The vast distances in miles and culture between the United States and China are
no barrier to true yearning to share your household with a child in need of a
family.
Whether the child is around the block or around the world, the impact of
adoption on a waiting child and the adoptive family is the same.
Love in the service of necessity creates a new family and a brighter future for
all involved.
My wife, Amy, and I have an 11-year-old son together (and I have four grown
children from a previous marriage). These days it is common for parents of
biological children to adopt. Many on our trip to China last November (National
Adoption Month) fit that description, and others were returning to China to
adopt a second child. Beyond the obvious, there are curious differences between
producing a biological child and adopting.
Adoptive parents are poked and probed. Social workers, adoption agencies and
governments at all levels take a deep interest in whether or not yours is a fit
household to receive a child.
Is your house clean enough? Are you? Are you too old? Too young, too shiftless,
too poor or poorly behaved? Adoptive parents are measured against these and
dozens of other criteria.
In the end, we all have mountains of paperwork to prove we are up to snuff.
But nobody checks to see if biological parents will be fit to raise children.
In an ironic twist, the necessity for adoption often arises from the fact that
some parents are unable or unwilling to raise their biological children.
This means that, across the globe, literally millions of kids wait.
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
