LilMtnCbn
04-16-2004, 06:36 AM
http://iccheshireonline.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0100regionalnews/tm_objec
tid=14152125&method=full&siteid=50020&headline=couple-s-heartbreak-after-s
nub-by-adoption-service-name_page.html
Couple's heartbreak after snub by adoption service Apr 16 2004
By Jessica Shaughnessy, Chester Chronicle
A COUPLE desperate to adopt have been left childless while dozens of youngsters
need a loving home.
Two weeks after Cheshire County Council appealed through The Chronicle for a
home for two boys, Ceri and Keith Pemberton have spoken of their struggle to
start a family.
They say they have been overlooked because of Ceri's medical problems, but were
put forward to adopt a child with cerebral palsy.
'It's double standards,' said the couple, of Melrose Avenue, Vicars Cross. 'If
they thought we were not fit to care for a child without physical problems, why
did they think we might be fit to care for one with disabilities?'
Ceri, 32, and Keith, 48, a warehouse worker, began the adoption process three
years ago after IVF treatment failed .
'I was desperate to have children,' said Ceri. 'I have always loved them. Even
when I was young I just wanted a husband, a house and four kids.'
The couple say social workers warned them adoption panels did not look kindly
on would-be-parents who were over-weight or took anti-depressants.
When they went before the panel, the decision was split, but eventually they
were passed.
Ceri said: 'I am overweight, which is partly because of my illness, and I am on
anti-depressants because I have been through a lot over the years.
'I had an emergency operation to have my large intestine removed and there is
scar tissue on my uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes.
'I was devastated when I discovered I could not have children.
'My doctor says people who have been through half as much need
anti-depressants. He wrote to the panel to tell them I am not a depressive.
'I just want a child. If I could have children I would feel my life is complete
and I wouldn't need anti-depressants.'
Ceri and Keith attended workshops and meetings for prospective adopters and put
their names forward to adopt a number of children.
But even though all the other couples in their group got children, Ceri and
Keith were never matched.
Ceri said: 'We kept hearing the same things over and over again about
anti-depressants and being overweight.
'Then a child with cerebral palsy came up. We were prepared to adopt a child
with some difficulties but felt that we had to find out the extent of the
child's disabilities before we went ahead.
'Despite our hesitations our name was put forward. Eventually we had to ask to
be withdrawn, even though we had never given the go-ahead.'
After this incident Ceri and Keith received a visit from their social worker.
'She told us she thought we should withdraw as it was doing too much damage to
my health,' said Ceri.
'The whole thing knocked our confidence. We were constantly being told we were
not fit to be parents.'
The couple are now considering surrogacy using embryos left over from IVF. A
friend has already volunteered to carry their child for them.
A county council spokesman said: 'In some cases the couple felt they were not a
suitable match for the child, while on other occasions they were not selected
for short-listing.
'The reasons for this are confidential between the authority concerned and Mr
and Mrs Pemberton.
'We understand that the failure to be matched with a child has been distressing
for the couple and we have discussed with them the possibility of
de-registration.
'We would welcome the opportunity to discuss further the options open to them.'
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
tid=14152125&method=full&siteid=50020&headline=couple-s-heartbreak-after-s
nub-by-adoption-service-name_page.html
Couple's heartbreak after snub by adoption service Apr 16 2004
By Jessica Shaughnessy, Chester Chronicle
A COUPLE desperate to adopt have been left childless while dozens of youngsters
need a loving home.
Two weeks after Cheshire County Council appealed through The Chronicle for a
home for two boys, Ceri and Keith Pemberton have spoken of their struggle to
start a family.
They say they have been overlooked because of Ceri's medical problems, but were
put forward to adopt a child with cerebral palsy.
'It's double standards,' said the couple, of Melrose Avenue, Vicars Cross. 'If
they thought we were not fit to care for a child without physical problems, why
did they think we might be fit to care for one with disabilities?'
Ceri, 32, and Keith, 48, a warehouse worker, began the adoption process three
years ago after IVF treatment failed .
'I was desperate to have children,' said Ceri. 'I have always loved them. Even
when I was young I just wanted a husband, a house and four kids.'
The couple say social workers warned them adoption panels did not look kindly
on would-be-parents who were over-weight or took anti-depressants.
When they went before the panel, the decision was split, but eventually they
were passed.
Ceri said: 'I am overweight, which is partly because of my illness, and I am on
anti-depressants because I have been through a lot over the years.
'I had an emergency operation to have my large intestine removed and there is
scar tissue on my uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes.
'I was devastated when I discovered I could not have children.
'My doctor says people who have been through half as much need
anti-depressants. He wrote to the panel to tell them I am not a depressive.
'I just want a child. If I could have children I would feel my life is complete
and I wouldn't need anti-depressants.'
Ceri and Keith attended workshops and meetings for prospective adopters and put
their names forward to adopt a number of children.
But even though all the other couples in their group got children, Ceri and
Keith were never matched.
Ceri said: 'We kept hearing the same things over and over again about
anti-depressants and being overweight.
'Then a child with cerebral palsy came up. We were prepared to adopt a child
with some difficulties but felt that we had to find out the extent of the
child's disabilities before we went ahead.
'Despite our hesitations our name was put forward. Eventually we had to ask to
be withdrawn, even though we had never given the go-ahead.'
After this incident Ceri and Keith received a visit from their social worker.
'She told us she thought we should withdraw as it was doing too much damage to
my health,' said Ceri.
'The whole thing knocked our confidence. We were constantly being told we were
not fit to be parents.'
The couple are now considering surrogacy using embryos left over from IVF. A
friend has already volunteered to carry their child for them.
A county council spokesman said: 'In some cases the couple felt they were not a
suitable match for the child, while on other occasions they were not selected
for short-listing.
'The reasons for this are confidential between the authority concerned and Mr
and Mrs Pemberton.
'We understand that the failure to be matched with a child has been distressing
for the couple and we have discussed with them the possibility of
de-registration.
'We would welcome the opportunity to discuss further the options open to them.'
-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown
