Adoptees: Everlasting "children". gak

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/04/09/nadop109.x
ml&sSheet=/news/2004/04/09/ixhome.html

Adopted children concerned by new rules
By Nicole Martin
(Filed: 09/04/2004)


An overhaul of adoption legislation that will make it easier for adopted
children and their biological parents to trace each other received a mixed
response yesterday.



Felicity Collier, the chief executive of the British Association for Adoption
and Fostering, said the changes would enable parents to explain to their
children why they chose to put them up for adoption. She said: "Thousands of
birth parents have waited for many years to explain to the children they gave
up why they made this decision and to gain reassurance that their children are
alive and well."

Miss Collier tried to allay fears among adoptive parents that the newly
announced changes would threaten their relationship with their children. "All
the evidence shows that if there are good family relationships between adopted
adults and their adoptive parents, contact with birth parents does not
jeopardise the relationship," she said.

Objections to the changes were also expressed by some adopted children - there
have been 875,000 who have been passed on to new parents since 1926. Many said
that they did not wish to be reunited with their biological parents.

A 39-year-old man, who wanted to be referred to only as Jonathan, said: "I was
adopted in 1965 and strongly object to the proposals. I have a wonderful
relationship with my parents who brought me up.

"While I bear no ill will towards those who gave me up for adoption, I do not
believe they should have any right to trace me, even if actual contact could
only be made with my consent. I would find it very unwelcome news. I have a
settled life and no wish or need to be traced.

"I feel this would be unfair for my 'real' parents who brought me up and to
whom I owe so much." Some commentators warned that the legislation would
discourage people from coming forward as adoptive parents.

Pam Hodgkins is the founder of Norcap, a charity which offers support to those
affected by adoption. She said that such fears were unfounded. "Adoptive
parents nowadays are very aware that children have their own heritage and very
often there is ongoing contact with the birth parents anyway, even if it is
only by post," she said.

Richard Humphries and his wife, who adopted three young girls almost 20 years
ago, said they were adamant that the youngsters' birth relatives should have
the opportunity to get in touch with them. "I thought that denying them contact
was a cruel way to treat human beings," said 56-year-old Mr Humphries.

But Mr Humphries, from Downham Market, Norfolk, admitted that the first meeting
between his 16-year-old middle adopted daughter and her father six years ago
was "traumatic" and "very tearful". "It is not always a very positive thing for
adopted children generally because it can devastate their lives," he said. "But
in our case it meant a lot to the birth father because, for one thing, he could
see she was being well cared for."



-------------------------
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!"
-----Unknown

in article 20040409091755.25553.00000073@mb-m04.aol.com, LilMtnCbn at
lilmtncbn@aol.comnospam wrote on 9/4/04 2:17 pm:
Adoptees: Everlasting "children". gak


Typical Daily Telegraph, editorial. There has been virtually no objection to
this as it went through parliament apart form some manufactured objections
by the usual bunch of old fools who don't understand how adoption was done
in the UK and have formed their entire perception from US media drivel.
Anyone who objected to openness in adoption here in England now would almost
certainly be rejected as an adopter by both the agencies and by the courts.

Robin


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/04/09/nadop109.x ml&sSheet=/news/2004/04/09/ixhome.html Adopted children concerned by new rules By Nicole Martin (Filed: 09/04/2004) An overhaul of adoption legislation that will make it easier for adopted children and their biological parents to trace each other received a mixed response yesterday. Felicity Collier, the chief executive of the British Association for Adoption and Fostering, said the changes would enable parents to explain to their children why they chose to put them up for adoption. She said: "Thousands of birth parents have waited for many years to explain to the children they gave up why they made this decision and to gain reassurance that their children are alive and well." Miss Collier tried to allay fears among adoptive parents that the newly announced changes would threaten their relationship with their children. "All the evidence shows that if there are good family relationships between adopted adults and their adoptive parents, contact with birth parents does not jeopardise the relationship," she said. Objections to the changes were also expressed by some adopted children - there have been 875,000 who have been passed on to new parents since 1926. Many said that they did not wish to be reunited with their biological parents. A 39-year-old man, who wanted to be referred to only as Jonathan, said: "I was adopted in 1965 and strongly object to the proposals. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents who brought me up. "While I bear no ill will towards those who gave me up for adoption, I do not believe they should have any right to trace me, even if actual contact could only be made with my consent. I would find it very unwelcome news. I have a settled life and no wish or need to be traced. "I feel this would be unfair for my 'real' parents who brought me up and to whom I owe so much." Some commentators warned that the legislation would discourage people from coming forward as adoptive parents. Pam Hodgkins is the founder of Norcap, a charity which offers support to those affected by adoption. She said that such fears were unfounded. "Adoptive parents nowadays are very aware that children have their own heritage and very often there is ongoing contact with the birth parents anyway, even if it is only by post," she said. Richard Humphries and his wife, who adopted three young girls almost 20 years ago, said they were adamant that the youngsters' birth relatives should have the opportunity to get in touch with them. "I thought that denying them contact was a cruel way to treat human beings," said 56-year-old Mr Humphries. But Mr Humphries, from Downham Market, Norfolk, admitted that the first meeting between his 16-year-old middle adopted daughter and her father six years ago was "traumatic" and "very tearful". "It is not always a very positive thing for adopted children generally because it can devastate their lives," he said. "But in our case it meant a lot to the birth father because, for one thing, he could see she was being well cared for." ------------------------- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail . . . but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn . . . that was fun!" -----Unknown