On Wed, 18 Jun 2003 13:26:54 -0400, lauriann wrote:
my ex boyfriend and i bought a house about 3 and a half years ago together . he s moved on but i and our three year olf son continue to live in the house I have paid all the bills for 3 years myself with very little child support from him. i want to get his name off my deed

Understandable. But why do you have to do it right now? Are you trying
to sell the house?
but he refuses to sign a quit claim deed- simply put beacuse he is a jerk... he wants joint custody of our son as a condition to signing the quit claim deed.

Why not just sue for paternity? That should get you the opportunity to
seek both custody and child support -- and your state will probably handle
the whole thing for you. Contact the local department of social services
and ask.
So i ve talked to a couple lawyers who say i can sue him .. have the house put up for auction and in essence buy my house back-- the only problem is he has joined the army and the lawyer i ve chosen to help me two weeks ago still can not give me an answer as to whether it s even possible to sue someone in the military.

I believe that you *usually* cannot sue a military member who is outside
the jurisdiction. The federal Soldiers' and Sailors' Relief Act was
designed to prevent that sort of thing. But there are probably
exceptions.
He is going to school with them until january...

Who are the "he" and the "them" you are referring to there, and what does
that have to do with anything?
the property and myself are in new york .. any advice any one could give me or if anyone knows where i can look to find out the answers would be apprecaited- Is it really possible i could have to wait 7 years for him to be out of the army before i can get him off the deed to my house

Last time I checked, the longest army hitch was 6 years -- and that was
only available at re-enlistment. The longest initial hitch was 4 years.

Well, I hope to smile you can sue the military. My husbands ex does it all the time for no good reason at all. Only when you are on official "deployment status" (aka--in Iraq, Bosnia, Kuwait) or if you are officially on what is called a "hardship tour" are you protected from the Civil Soldiers Sailors and Marines act. The rest of the time, in regards to lawsuits, you are NOT protected under that act. That act is only there so that a lawsuit cannot go on while you are off fighting in a war or doing your official civic duty. The time you spend on your official duty station (in other words, if stationed at Ft. Drum NY or something) you are available to sue for anything at all, both in the civil suit, criminal suit, paternity suit, child support/custody, or even just because he kicked your dog.

Keep in mind that if you are paying your lawyer by the form or the hour, you are in big trouble though. Many military legal offices bury the plaintiff in paperwork so that you give up on the law suit. That is what we finally had to do to end the harassment of my husband's ex wife. If you do so, and you end up in that kind of fight, you WILL have more on your hands than you bargained for, so be prepared for a LOT of legal "work to do". You might be better off leaving his name on the deed for the time being. Legally, the longer he is away from the child and he is not trying to gain custody using the legal system, the better your odds are of keeping full legal custody once the papers are actually filed. Especially when dealing with military lawyers on his side.

Unofficially, after a certain amount of time (I don't know how long or how many years it could be) that he has been out of the house, even though his name is on the deed, he can't move back in, but until then, he can just move back in and there is not much you can do about it without going to court. Weigh your options carefully.

Good luck with that,
Heather :)