Please Help Me!! I am an employeeof the state of Arkansas and have been for nearly 3 years. My boss has made my job so intolerable I'm ready to quit. Her demeaning attitude and remarks to me both in private and in the company of others has humiliated me to the point the I'm suffering physically. She tells me to take initiative and do things without being told and then when I do, she berates me for not checking with her first and doing it wrong. I feel like I did when I was married to my abusive ex-husband. Walking on egg shells because you never know what will set her off. I, for the most part do not reply to her remarks because it always brings further grief. I did try to gently tell her once that at times she seems unapproachable and immediately she became defensive. I have a male co-worker in the same suite but her behavior towards him is much more mild than towards me. She talks to me like a dog. I have not reacted positively, taking leave when possible. I do perform my job to the best of my abilities but I can't win when because she changes what she wants from day to day. Others have commented to me that they wouldn't take that but no one says anything to her. The irony is that she complains to me that her boss treats her the same way she treats me. I have not tried to speak to her superior because they are tight. I'm against a wall. I'm sorry I rambled a bit but my confidence has been completely shaken and I don't know what to do! :confused:

I'm sorry, but although this sounds like poor supervisory skills and and a very uncomfortable working environment, it comes nowhere near the legal definition of a hostile working environment. Here's a good explanation:
http://www.fcc.gov/owd/understanding-harassment.html

I worked for someone like that once. It isn't illegal, but it is a very bad environment to work in. I would advise finding a job elsewhere. No job is worth your health and the stress this one brings.

If you think she treats the male "more gently" than you because of his sex, you could try alleging sex discrimination. The federal anti-discrimination law prohibits difference in treatment based on sex. However, if it's just the two of you, it may be difficult to show that the basis for the difference is gender rather than some other factor. Have others worked for this woman? How did she treat them? Is there any pattern?

Others have worked for her, unfortunately they are in other offices across the state. One of those people did tell me that she has always been this way and I should just find another job. I do thank you for the replies and I agree it would be hard to prove sex discrimination since it's basically she said she said type of situation. The male would not be of any help. I just hate to quit a job. And as soon as I give her any notice, it will be intolerable trying to complete the rest of the week. Keep me in your thoughts and God bless! :(