I have a 3 year old son in central florida. His mother and i have been on and off pretty much his whole life. Throughout the time we were together she was a stay at home mom and i supported her and every time she got a job she couldnt hold it for more then 3 weeks. Shes had drug problems and a ton of alcohol related offenses with the law. After a 6 month logn seperation we tried it again and it has been over for 2 months now. I have him full time, she has no drivers license, insurance or job. She wont help with watching him or help pay for daycare expenses. Can i file with the state of florida for child support, or do i have to go through the court process for custody before i can obtain support. We have never been married but i was listed on the birth certificate as the father and i have a copy of that. Thanks for the help.

I have a 3 year old son in central florida. His mother and i have been on and off pretty much his whole life. Throughout the time we were together she was a stay at home mom and i supported her and every time she got a job she couldnt hold it for more then 3 weeks. Shes had drug problems and a ton of alcohol related offenses with the law. After a 6 month logn seperation we tried it again and it has been over for 2 months now. I have him full time, she has no drivers license, insurance or job. She wont help with watching him or help pay for daycare expenses. Can i file with the state of florida for child support, or do i have to go through the court process for custody before i can obtain support. We have never been married but i was listed on the birth certificate as the father and i have a copy of that. Thanks for the help.

Before you can get child support you have to have LEGAL custody of the child. In order to get custody, you will need to establish paternity.

Once that is done, you can file for child support. But if mom has no money and can't keep a job how is she going to pay the support?

But if mom has no money and can't keep a job how is she going to pay the support?

The same way any other NCP would pay to support their kids. Frankly, Ceara, I'm surprised to see a comment like this from you - I have a great deal of respect for your opinions and knowledge.

I have a 3 year old son in central florida. His mother and i have been on and off pretty much his whole life. Throughout the time we were together she was a stay at home mom and i supported her and every time she got a job she couldnt hold it for more then 3 weeks. Shes had drug problems and a ton of alcohol related offenses with the law. After a 6 month logn seperation we tried it again and it has been over for 2 months now. I have him full time, she has no drivers license, insurance or job. She wont help with watching him or help pay for daycare expenses. Can i file with the state of florida for child support, or do i have to go through the court process for custody before i can obtain support. We have never been married but i was listed on the birth certificate as the father and i have a copy of that. Thanks for the help.
Ceara is correct, you need to file petitions to estblish paternity, custody and CS. If you can't afford an attorney you can do it yourself. You can find the forms at www.flcourts.org

The same way any other NCP would pay to support their kids. Frankly, Ceara, I'm surprised to see a comment like this from you - I have a great deal of respect for your opinions and knowledge.

It was meant to defend mom in any way. I was just letting him know that just because child support is ORDERED, don't expect to see much any time soon if mom can't hold down a job.

Since the child support will most likely be very low because of her work history, it could take YEARS before the unpaid amount is large enough for the state to take action. When they finally do get serious about enforcing the order, she can still refuse to pay. Some parents would just as soon go to jail then pay child support. If she's in jail she still can't pay.

There are some cases where it is better to NOT enforce a child support order. I don't enforce my order for several different reasons. I don't NEED the money because I have enough of my own to insure that the kids won't have to go without anything. There is also the fact that the ex would use it against me. I know at some point the kids will want to meet him, when that time comes he won't be able to blame the fact that he was a sorry *** father on me. If I enforced the order, he would tell the kids that I only wanted his money and wouldn't LET him see the kids and that because he was paying so much support, he could afford to take me to court. No child support, no excuse. But most of all, he's not worth my time and effort. Frankly, I just don't care enough to go to all the trouble.

I understand your point, Ceara...thanks again for the clarification.

To mpulsev10...I would follow Ceara and Xena's very good advice and file NOW for paternity and custody at minimum. You need to establish yourself as the legal parent so that you can have legal custody of your son. It's up to you if you wish to file for child support from the mother after that.

Best of luck to you!

I understand your point, Ceara...thanks again for the clarification.

To mpulsev10...I would follow Ceara and Xena's very good advice and file NOW for paternity and custody at minimum. You need to establish yourself as the legal parent so that you can have legal custody of your son. It's up to you if you wish to file for child support from the mother after that.

Best of luck to you!

It's not something that I recommend often, but in some situations it can end up being more trouble then it's worth. No matter how well you do protecting the child, they can pick up on the stress that long drawn out court battles cause.